~~~~
You are the sun
the moon
and Saturday night at the movies.
When we met, my eyes
were drawn to you immediately.
Through a veil of lashes,
all my synapses racing,
I contemplated your image,
puzzling pieces slowly interlocking.
Once arranged
the puzzle revealed you looking at me
acidically eating
into my solitary serenity.
I was going to eradicate you
with a number two pencil.
You were supposed to disappear
into the dry cracks
of a dispassionate eraser.
But each day,
your picture was more complete.
You beat at my eyelids to open
to release you from my mind
into my life.
You spilled into my reality
and now
You are melted chocolate on my tongue
rose petals strewn across my path.
You are starlight in daylight;
ice cubes on sizzling skin.
You dazzle me like Liz Taylor's diamonds.
~~~~
Author notes
Written August 23rd, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Tell someone you love them... by Margaret Denham.
1900 points, ended August 23, 2008, 47 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I love the way this meanders seamlessly through the very poetic ( ".. a veil of lashes, all my synapses racing", "acidically eating into my solitary serenity" ), and the more prosaic ( "I was going to eradicate you with a number two pencil", and particularly the "Saturday night at the movies" juxtaposed against ".. the sun, the moon...". Like the melted chocolate, delicious!
PJ
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Your words and background come together beautifully to present a complete package of poetry wrapped in love and desire.
Thank you for entering and best wishes in the judging.
Margaret
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Thanks for your kind comment and honorable mention. I truly do agree with your pick for gold! It is a marvelous poem. ~ Joyce
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you dazzled me with your poetry, but all you had to do was smile!
-Darmok wonderful poem!!!! -
This is a complete poem--from the beginning... Your images are at once earthy & sensual...
-
Twelve years flashes like a diamond
firing rainbow bursts of light
refracted through its facets,
and I remain fascinated by the
clarity of your heart. ... this is part of the poem I wrote for my twelvth wedding anniversary in May. Diamonds are dazzling...
You are starlight in daylight;
Ice cubes on sizzling skin... these two lines really did it for me! I could imagine this set to music, it is so beautiful... I feel the intencity here... so passionate.
-
Lighthearted and lovely
Dearest Joyce
What a lovely romantic, yet down-to-earth poem! I picture this girl (ooooooh: that "veil of eyelashes"! Lol, during the early 70's girls used to wear false eyelashes ... it is coming back again now!), sketching a point of interest
... which then spilled into her reality ... "dazzling (her) like Liz Taylor's diamonds"!
Wow.
Lucky Mr. He!
Hugs,
Myra -
Oh Joyce a wonderful romantic piece how lovely.....and sweet this is......and very creative how you put this togethers....Hugs,Sherry
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This is loved Joyce
Glad to see your post
I have missed you
I got up some new ones too
Do hope you are feeling better
Luv ya & come see me
Susan~~~~
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Through a veil of lashes,
I love that line, i really like the whole thing though its not my style but i like your style , thanks for sharing this made me look at things alittle different tonight
....Honorablyfallen
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