never wanting to do what i want
i wish you would just die
you say you like to be with me
but it's all just a lie
my anger towards you grows deep
deep within my soul
my anger slowly turns to rage
and devours my heart whole
i hate the way you always say yes
but soon after change your mind
i wish you'd just tell me the truth
and leave the lies behind.
i never want to hear you again
or see your lying face
if i ever do
i'll spray you with some mace.
A contest entry
- 3 Part Contest: Part 1- Rage [[BIG POINTS]] by GiftedPsychosis.
1500 points, ended August 7, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
lol...i like the way you ended this and you spoke the truth. just like every poem i read before this one i can relate to it. you really got some talent here. well i'ma call it a night. i waited for you for awhile so we could chat a little bit...but i gotta go. hope you enjoy the comments. return the message soon.
~Dani~
-
VERY powerful and very emotional. What inspired this one?
-
Interesting
Interesting write. My favorite part was the one that said:
"i hate the way you always say yes
but soon after change your mind
i wish you'd just tell me the truth
and leave the lies behind."
May I suggest spell check? I kinda got dizzy with all the typos. It was very distracting. And in the title, I think you might mean "Liars". Just a thought. But otherwise, a good write. I like how you took all your rage and just transformed it into fierce words. Somehow you seem to hold back on telling that person a thing or two, which makes it even more interesting, trying to uncover the true feelings you hold back. Keep writing!
Naoto
for you
-
Ooo, nicely done. Definately captures rage quite well. Good luck in the contest!
-
I'm back to say that I'm glad you checked back over it. It's a wonderful poem.
Great job and good luck in the contest! -
I like, good job.
Word of advice [[words]]-- use spell check.
There are quite a few helpless errors.
But overall nice job.
I'll be back later with DF40 to judge.
Good luck!!!! -
great job, nice i entered too did you see? hopefully we'll do good in the contest! See ya im loging out now *yawn* night big bro
-maddie
-
Great rant! Get those emotions out, they do less damage to our souls this way. Wonderful write
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
