Green gathers individuality
as stamina swells narcissism,
world fascinations create trance
gaining secular abundance
from folly of capitalism
when envy dictates personality.
imperious jealousy lingers yawns
as anger covets, fierce resentment spawns.
making money masters mortality,
rising bent assets abort abysm,
theft's temporal triumphs aspire finance.
evicted conscience sets to wallow
can't reverse open minded hollow;
vacant vertex ransacks harmony,
safely securing mad miser spree.
abducted dreams ease my advance
that pirates monarch ambiance,
rewarding bootleg renaissance.
Author notes
Versaic Form created by Ian Sawicki
A contest entry
- Colors of the Wind by Quixotically Yours.
300 points, ended July 27, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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WOW. Amazing use of imagery and form. Congratulations on the Gold with this wonderful write
Bravo
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what's that with the comment with small amount of rhyme lol it rhymes all the way through
a good poem
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Congrats, Iggy on your gold. Well deserved lol
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I can't say that I know the form you have created, but it works perfectly for this piece. The alliteration is perfect, small amount of rhyme, and a very interesting take on green. Great job and good luck in the contest.
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Awesome wording you have penned here,sweetie
an very deep and thought provoking write,with much emotional depth.I love the line:imperious jealousy lingers yawns
as anger covets, fierce resentment spawns.
A powerful thought indeed,yet so true to the impact of the write...Thank you for wishing me well...Big HugsGood Luck Sweetie...trying to comment some while my mind is not fuzzy from this flu...
Blessings
~Cheryl~
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so very dark but so very deep. I am having puter trouble I cant find the keyboard lol but I love this poem. great job. I read it twice and loved it.
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Goodness...
this is dark, and very deep. Green, my favorite color for so many other reasons than the ones proposed here. Your first stanza simply gripped me and held me. Truly a thoughtful and provoking verse.
Wonderfully done. ~Pamela
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Darker shades of green, eh?..Nicely done, my friend.
Great vocabulary, awesome alliteration, deep metaphor...and a helluva statement.
Got to say..I like the new pic...handsome little guy, you have there, handsome big guy, lol.
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This is outstanding. I'm not familiar with the form, but even so, I loved the rhyme and the alliterations. Wonderful interpretation of the color green (speaking of which, I loved the title).
The final stanza seems a bit anti-climactic, but then again, I've had a long day. When I go over these again at the end of the contest, maybe then I'll get that wonderful punch I seem to have sidestepped right now. A beautiful job. Thanks for entering, and good luck! -
Powerful imagery... content expressed in the intense
fascinating piece of poetry. A wicked poem mate holding much depth with alot of thought provoking imagery to ponder. Excellent!
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Wonderful piece. This is a form i still need to try out! You have done a wonderful job here. The language is elegant and full of excellent imagery! All the best!
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That is an excellent poem. I like line two as stamina swells narcissism I also like the first line of the second stanza. Good poem!
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ooohhh, my, oh my
This is just lovely, beautiful, excellent, ingenious,
wow, I am just enthralled. A lovely Versaic if ever I have seen one. You are good. Good luck in the contest. You rock. lol
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