Daddy's little girl
It's what I used to hear
As you tucked me into bed at night
And whispered in my ear
Did anyone care
As I lied there and cried
Why did you just stand there and watch as I
D
I
E
D
You say I'm always beautiful
How you love me so much
But why does it seem
You cringe at my touch
Ba-ba black sheep
Sitting all alone
Crying in the corner
When no one else is home
One already has me
Say's I'm his joy in life
The other tells me how he'll always be there
To take away my strife
Hush my little baby
Don't say a word
Let me wrap you in my arms
And shield you from the world
You tell mom that I'm different
I hear you talk at night
You wonder why I'm changing
What didn't you do right?
Hush little baby
Don't you cry
Just listen as I sign to you
You Nightmare's lullaby
You tell me I've grown cold
I'm pushing you away
I just want to see you happy
No matter what it takes
You wonder why this child
Is hiding from the world
when all she really wants to know
Am I still your little girl
Author notes
Pain
Beautiful Mistake
A contest entry
- Open! Open!! Read this!! haha by Dark Angel Reborn.
390 points, ended July 20, 2007, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - give me your favourites (prewrites allowed). by aeolia.
500 points, ended July 29, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [Baby Tug The String On My Back, Maybe I'll Breathe A Little Longer.] by SarahEatsAirplane.
343 points, ended August 21, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Time For You To Take A Chance ~ Round One by Tears and Raine.
320 points, ended January 26, 2008, 176 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I don't think this one is that good.. I'm just leaving it up to see what people think. Please be honest. :D
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I Think This Is Amazing
Its A Really Good Write
well Done Babe !!!
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This was quite well done. I especially liked how you incorporated lullaby rhymes into into your writing. I think that the emotion you put into this is something relatable for anyone who's young and is going through change. Excellent.
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I liked it and thought you put alot of effort in this one , and it was nice how you fit everything together. The part with the lullaby , it
came out very well and thanks that was actually a pleasure to read, and deserving of what reward and comments it got.
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This....absolutely HAS to be my FAVOURITE of what I've read so far of your stuff.
The rhyming fits perfectly...and the way you've managed to fit in the lullabys is just so...beautiful in a sad way...it's amazing.
I wish I could write a piece like this.
You say you don't think it is good?
That's rubbish =p
It's brilliant!!!
xxxxxx
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I thnik this is really good. You are really creative and good with showing your emotion through your poems. I really like your writing.
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wow
thats really good i can relate -
I really really liked this...like...a lot. I loved the ba ba black sheep part of it...and the last stanza was really amazing. I love how creative you are and how expressive annnd descriptive you can beeeee haha..but no really, i loved this piece. Thank you for entering my contest and gooood luck.
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wow that was so damn good..!.....i really liked the last stanza alot and the way u've used 'baba black sheep...hush lil..etc"....this was such a terrific piece!!!....just got me in!.........tc..adios!
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i like it
good write -
Wow...it creeped me out a little...pretty darn good. ^_^
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A good attempt, but I am afraid, for a lullaby it is a bit too long.
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