As I'm lying on my bed,
Tell me am I really dead?
Stab me with a knife,
I have no tears left to shed.
Run my hand straight through a flame,
Tell me have I gone insane?
Drive a stake into my heart,
And I can barely feel the pain.
Hold my hand its freezing cold,
I'm no longer strong and bold.
My face, its white and pale,
Tell me have I lost my soul?
Why do you look at me in despair,
As you run your fingers through my hair?
I feel your touch for the last time,
As you tell me that you care.
As I see you shed a tear,
I can vaguely start to hear,
"I still love you though you're gone,
And I will miss you my sweet dear."
As I float up through the clouds,
I am sadly looking down.
I see many tears and my body,
Various people walking around.
I have one question I havent tried,
How is it that I became to die?
All I remember is seeing you,
As you shut the coffin and say goodbye.
What was that noise,
Was it someoes voice?
I turn around with haste,
But was that the right choice?
Here I am in my room,
I have escaped my final doom.
Why didnt you save me?
Maybe this is something new...
Author notes
Option 3 i believe it was. I watched tv...woo hoo
A contest entry
- Just a few twisted options *new option + unlimited entries*... by AutumnsFlame.
450 points, ended August 2, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I dont know what was going through your mind at the time that you wrote this poem. But obviously you werent feeling to swell. I loved the rhyme pattern, and the unique vocabulary. It had a good message.
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Well I think you know some of your rhymes didn't really work, for example "doom" and "new" do not rhyme... This was an alright poem, but in my opinion, you should shorten your lines or break them up because they have wayyy too many sylabols. Also, you spelled "someone's" wrong... Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
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