pooled into existence
from ether's lips
I lay upon my bed
of darkest green
this rose leaf
cradles me
as I await my death
perchance on the cheek
of someone fair
who comes at dawn
to breathe in
a flower's scent
else to evaporate
under sun's
burning eye
A contest entry
- Dewdrop Morphing {contest] by cherche -d -ame.
300 points, ended July 11, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Wonderfully smooth. I love the imagery, it's soothing in a sense, though sad in the end. I love the way you have used metaphors in this write. Loved it.
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This is such a bittersweet [yet beautiful] entry into the contest. Thank you.The language and presentation are impeccable and eloquent. That is my "editorial critique". On a personal note , I would have liked to see a happier ending , however I do not let "personal" influence my judging....
best wishes,
reenie
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It's not all fun and games and happy endings in the life of a dewdrop.
Thanks for the inspiring contest!
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oooohhh!
Wow Jim! This piece was immaculate in its beauty and descrptions. I love your metaphors and imagery. I also love the foreshadowing of the dewdrops immanent demise by the sun. Lovely.
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it sounds morbid, though somehow accepting. thats what it sounded like. very nice, as usual.
i miss u JIM
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Z, I haven't seen you for awhile, but you have certainly come back with such a winner! This is such a perfect and beautiful way to morph a dewdrop. Great job, and good luck in the contest. Hugs, Patricia
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in the early morning
rising from warm sheets
hearing the cuckoo's summons from
long distant woods, calling forth
the new day, the blue door unlocked
stepping from within
bright walls, a warm kitchen
cold stone floor
stepping forth
and catching at my heart
they were...
sun's rays, dewy grass
pearls of water drops on
your eyelashes
LM,M
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