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Murder in High Quality

split tongues
rolling eyes
cut lips
broken thighs

rare beauty
framed in two
hammering jaws as
intestines flew

lashed legs
fiddled spine
creased feet
all aligned

pinned atop
from the bed
laced with blood
covered in red

a perfect murder
covering stains
dirty clothing
all down the drain

lock the door
drive far away
& no one's aware
for the rest of the day

Author notes

wow, i haven't written like this in a long time. I miss it.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • bubbletoes
    July 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    yikes!


  • They Say Shannon
    July 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this was great.

    You made the rhyme completely add to the poem!
    A lot of times it distracts but this was awesome!

    It fit and it was so choppy and fast paced that I was wondering what was going to happen.

    This isn't flashy or anything but you made it work.

    The only thing that is sort of strange is,
    "intestines withdrew"
    Because it's longer than the other lines and I have to stop and re-read it to pronounciate it write.

    Anyways,
    Stunning job! <3


  • love tank x
    July 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Whoa this is awesome!
    I personally think your talent shines though more in pieces like this; I mean your rhyming is flawless. Great job<3


  • Digital-coma
    July 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!!!!!!

    OMG OMG YAY!!!! I LOVE IT! It flows really really well, it's full of violence and murderous intentions, yep, I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT! ONce again, i think you knew i would. hhahaa

1 - 5 of 5