Masked; the deception of true hearts desire
Hidden in disguise as the night carries on
Clear intimate feelings as both hands touch
From a distance I stand and watch the romance
I linger from corner to corner as I hurt
My tears falling behind my mask, as I cowar back
Forth right I step closer to sharpen my pain
Closer I get to view my love dance away his heart
As I stand and watch my whole world crumble apart
Soon he senses a presence and makes eye contact
I stand completely still, in front of my deceitful man
and I pull away my mask to reveal my dying soul
In a list
A contest entry
- CONTEST by Flames-of-Furey.
461 points, ended July 25, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - whatever you want by Anonymous Shadow.
600 points, ended October 1, 2007, 119 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Very amazing write, Very emotive and beautiful, WOW I am just stunned, this is very impressive. congrats on your shiny's excellent!
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I really like this.You did an amazing job with it.Thank you for your entry and goodluck to you in the contest.Best wishes
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Love It! I truly do.. Great write, as always. Congrats on the well deserved silver trophy as well, hopefully the next contest will be the gold!
Very good luck and great write,
Silvos.
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Good write here
Very nicely done this one
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wow....i love this even though i dont know wat masquerade is....but we all kant hide behind it (since im a guy obviously) but the emotion is always there... Great write
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wow..... all i can do is gawk and applaud..
~*hillary*~
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I love this poem, very sad, it kindda reminds me of that PANIC! at the Disco video. Great job!
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Ouch!!
She caught him in the act, sounds like. Painful to read. Good work.
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wow....you thought my poem was a masterpiece?! this poem is one of the best I have read here on allpoetry so far. I love the rhythm and the flow. It is all so beautiful and so emotional. the lst linesd sums it up so well. Wonderful job! This is a TRUE masterpiece!
*peace* -
This is a wonderful poem with some great images, but it is the flow that I enjoyed the most. It grabs you from the first word and carries you through to the very conclusion, with a great sence of expectation in the last line. Very powerful, thank you!
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Great Job
One of the best I've read in a wial. So much soul and pain to drive a person crazy with hurt. Well done hope to read more of your work
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wow just WOW! I really enjoyed reading this it was so good!!! Also the picture you chose went well with the poem! Thank you so much for entering! Excellent work and the best of luck in my contest!!
-Steve- -
very good
It's very good....I like it alot...my fav. part waz of the last line...very emtional.... -
Closer I get to view my love dance away his heart
that and the last line were amazing, blew me away, absolutely amazing poe -
Very hard to go through... Seeing the one you love, being in love with another and sharing an intimate moment with the other person, right in front of your eyes. I feel very sad now, but your writing is so very real and vivid it makes you feel like you are the person. Very emotive and beautiful.
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i really really like this one. it got me a little misty eyed, but thats just what a good poem will do to me. great write, keep it up.
Rob
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Good job....I really like this! Thanks for entering
GOOD LUCK IN MY CONTEST! -
this is, by far. one of the sadest poems i have ever read! you did a great job on description of her sadness! WONDERFUL I LOVED IT!
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lovely
well it is beautiful I like your writing style it is not too flowery just lovely is the word=) I am more of the bat to the pick up truck kind of country girl my self so I do admire your style.
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phenomenal!
the last line and the deep emotion running through this
made me think of poe's masque of the red death
revealing the dying soul was a masterful twist at the end
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such a beautiful piece!!! your awesome!!!
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Wow, this poem was amazing. As I read the poem I felt like I was that girl. The imagery in this piece was wonderful, I could see everthing happening. Very nicely done on this piece my dear. Also the picture goes well with the piece
~~~Vampy~~~
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wow! i love this poem it is wonderful!! I can see the scene acctualy happening to. just wonderful!! bravo!!^^V i enjoyed the poem.
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im speachless this poem is wonderful I..... wow umm ye Love the imagery and the masquerade ball. I like the setting you chose you kept it short sweet and simple a poetic story I like your format. I really felt the imagery and emotion. In fact its quite unbelievable you have rasied the bar for quailty in this competition. very well written. thankyou for entering good luck.
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