||Condensation
Ginger simmered, star sucked straws,
we fell like feathers attached to tar
into a butter lathered pan,
boiling over and flunking out
but there was hope in self-centered ways.
Dropped from the exhaust fan,
we clung to the molecules chewed
into hairs- horizontal,
dyed snappy and high tailored.
Spun into a silver-crested splinter,
leeching onto the reverberation of the moon;
teeth barred, bared, hollowing the organic cavity
that scribbles inscriptions in Hebrew and Gibberish.
||Recycle
aeronautical aerobics,
asserting turmoil in the clouds;
four legged green grasses
and dews of myrrh and raspberry
Gill-fringed hydrogen
beating sonar and bundled brass
against panes of crooked hues.
||Evaporation
We held a capsule
that trapped nature's shade
(sand, foliage, whitened peaks, and a dab of cesious)
We were self-centered and conceited
in our abundant nihilist approach.
Author notes
I want to fall in love with a scientist. Molecules fascinate me.
A contest entry
- The Sky is Alive by sweetpearl.
2975 points, ended July 29, 2007, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I love your vocabulary and I only wish I had half of it. You're fascinating and you write things that I've never seen before. It's as if you know what's original and you piece words together to form sentences that make so much sense but have never been spoken.
Mmm alliteration, you know it's my weakness.
"we fell like feathers attached to tar
into a butter lathered pan"
--this is such an interesting image and concept. Where do you come up with these things, honestly?
This entire stanza:
"Spun into a silver-crested... - ...inscriptions in Hebrew and Gibberish"
--is just, gah, fucking brilliant. Every word has such significance and your attention to detail astounds me. I love the words you used, it feels very space like. Scientific indeed. I hope you find your scientist love
"four legged green grasses
and dews of myrrh and raspberry"
--you see what I mean by your craftiness?
The idea of molecules and the self-centredness you used is superb. You are a talented pretty little thing, aren't you? I don't even know what to say. You're way too smart for me.
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Stellar poem. Abstracted images and metaphors were developed flawlessly. Loved the entire concept.
By the way, Danielle told me to check your poems out, and well here I am. You're fantastic.
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this poem fascinates me.
i'm reading a book called Silent Spring by rachel carson, and in this book it discusses the devestating effects scientists can incur by "playing" with molecules.
i'd still go to your wedding anyhow, molecules are pretty effin cute.
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ultamitely dark
Decreptitude of what is wrought as something right is wrong in a world of trying and not really doing anything except defining what could be done..and then your poem shows it all in metaphoric darkness...
i do hope this world learns the green of things...or your prophesy is true...
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Over- opportunistic Nihilism rules!
... but there was hope in self-centered ways...
I love that and the ending! Who's sounding like Friedrich Nietzsche now?
"What are man's truths ultimately? Merely his irrefutable errors."
Kj
PS. Hmmm... I remember I really liked his thoughts on the human ego... I gonna have to look that up now...
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...
as i listen to "Never Know" by Jack Johnson. Fits so fucking perfectly. Anyway. Know what I really liked about this poem? the myrrh and raspberry thing. That was so fucking beautiful.
This read really fast. Schizophrenic, almost. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. It was just. . . fast reading. Woo. Good stuff.
~TORL
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