while rain hits on my window sill, I stare into the darkness of my room and listen to them argue in outside. They're all fighting- fighting because I started it all. Thinning my skin, I blame myself and try to fall asleep to the sound of my breathing. The asthma meds can no longer keep up with me. Drawn to a crawling sound I watch a small spider sprawl around my pillowcase. Its small critter legs moved along my room causing the reflection of the moonlight from outside to emit.
Then it suddenly hit me.
What would the air be like if I wasn't alive? Would they be a happy family, transmitting joy and no altercations occured? Seeing from this world, I bet ice cubes would never melt and tears would always dry quicker if I wasn't here. Table clothes would never turn red and fear never can arrive in my hell house. I would burn in heaven with my ripped wings and gasp for my inhaler. Huh. That cost money too.
Author notes
i'm new at this (prose) , so please give your true opinions. If it's just to express how i feel, I did. I hope this qualifies to be labeled prose...
it's alright if you tell the honest truth, because I'm eager to learn what prose really is!
I have many health problems and it seems i always bring them down with me...
A contest entry
- The Power of Thoughts by parasol.
1500 points, ended July 21, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This was an excellent piece. It was very expressive and detailed. The imagery was vivid and in place. Health troubles can be hard to deal with or even come to terms with. I don’t have asthma but sometimes I have problems breathing when I run. It’s annoying.
Well, I think you conquered the skill of writing prose. Prose is like poetry in the sense that it focuses on self-expression. However, it’s more literal, story-like, is usually quite personal and portrays the writer’s real life, emotions, and thoughts. Poetry is usually figurative. Also, prose is typically just telling and poetry is showing with words. Prose is the basic thoughts that are in your mind, written down... the language of everyday speech and the writing method that imitates it. Think of prose as like a journal entry or diary writing. Read http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prose for a better explanation.
This was very well written. I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for entry. Good luck in my contest.
- Andi
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