'laying in my world of grey
i could no longer live.
if something doesn't happen now
my life...it might just give'
while walking down my road of dirt today,
i noticed something amid the puddles of who knows what...
it was a girl, a beautiful girl; sitting in the rain.
'it was still midday, so i asked '...do you think i could play?'
she said 'of course sir!
we'll have lots of fun!'
astounded, i stuttered
'perhaps...uhm...when were done?'
and i pointed to my house.
she giggled. grabbed my hands, and we began to dance.
it was weird for me, she was covered in mud...and consequently..
i soon also became engulfed in the stuff.
she seeemed happy, content with life...
i was deep in thought about this enigma...and it seems she thought i was sad.
so with everything in her power, she tried to cheer me up.
it was pleasant. perplexing, but pleasant.
her constant and persistant joy soon broke through my intellect...
and i forgot my worries. i felt joy. dancing...in the mud.
dirty.
pretty.
'sir its getting dark,
perhaps we should go home.'
[had she forgotten my request? there was no way...perhaps she didnt wish to come. that was fine. [i hope i didnt scare her]]
'would you like a ride?
or..
any request you have, i'll abide!'
'no thank you sir, i can walk'
'let me come, we could talk!'
*she looks down at her feet*
'well...be careful, it's dangerous alone.'
'sir, you see the truth...is that i have no home..'
there was a pause...i was sad for the girl who had made my heart so glad.
with all these things wrong...how could she have such joy? i wanted, no, needed to learn from her. and i...i think i loved her...
'come with me, to my house'
and i offered her my hand.
'you can trust me, see?
if you'd like...i'd be pleased...
you could live with me.'
'sir, why thank...but i would never be...'
able to repay me? why you already have.
'come, let us talk over our tea
for there is no way under heaven
that this wasn't meant to be'
'surely you do not mean?'
'of course, i do not know'
'my life...if you could've seen...'
our eyes locked...and we were breathless...
then she said
'it was dirty...'
'well, you are pretty...and i want to make the rest of your life as pretty as you.'
Author notes
2. dirty pretty.
the last line seems shallow, i know. [ok i changed it, its less shallow, but i'm going to keep the original notage.] but what do you want? he's a guy. no...but seriously. for the dirty pretty theme. it was amazing. i didnt want to end it on such a shallow note...but ksdjfkasdfk. it was powerful.
in any case, they go to tea...and burst into tears with eachother over their life stories. they become the best of friends. he treats her like a princess. she loves him like her king.
they have these amazing ideals that make their love strong. stronger than death. and they become one flesh. bonded to eachother. forever.
&&& yeah.
oh. and his greys incinerated and exploded with her colour.
♥anthony
PS: ignore this.
[flick my bic]
A contest entry
- Choose Your Fate by Saree Wynter.
600 points, ended July 13, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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this is so sweet because it reminds me of ware i live..it snows for about four months and then rains mostly the rest of the year..and no i'm not telling you where I live..stalker
anywho back to reality...i loved how you write in a story base...i think thats truly way i enjoyed reading this...butthe concept of dirty pretty was still clean and pure which let a fairy tell unravel which was also nice.
hope i didn't confuse you
hugs
great write
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haha. thank you. ^_^
i actually really really don't like this poem.
it's way too sloppy.
i tried to simulate mud with that [sort of like alliteration can give effects to things], but i think i need to do more with it. like crescendos and decrescendos. and clean it up a lot.
but thank you.
♥anthony
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I like your dirty pretty poem...the whole world needs this sort of dirty pretty.
You're brilliant...what's new. lol
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thanks bree. but i dont know if it's all good stuff. just imagination. actually i dont like it at all. it's not God centered. only my flesh likes it... but hey, im a freak.
and it was for a contest. yeah...
♥anthony -
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hey, you're really hard on yourself. I think it's ok, I don't think Jesus would have any problems with reading this poem. I think that it's cool that you put such a different outlook on "dirty pretty"
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thanks.
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Hmm
Not exactly the meaning of dirty pretty but i like the outcome of the poem. All in all a great write. I like the ending. Good luck in the contest... -
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lol. well. the meaning wasnt specified. so you can't really dock me for that, right?.
and thank you.
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Creative
Cute and not what I expected from dirty pretty but I liked it alot. Very creative and original. Well Good luck and thanks for entering. Be expecting a comment from the other judge Whisper. GREAT write!!!
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haha. thank you.
it was kind of inspired.
a little bit.
or maybe something just inspired a thought. and that sparked my imagination...and went from there. it's not really like me though, it's soft...very soft. i'm usually all about passion. but i like it. lol.
and have fun with your contest.
oh oh oh. and lets be friends.
♥siranthonyjames
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