The sun trundles across the sky, a tangerine
tightrope taut from winds easterly strength;
Fleeting beauty seeks retreat, I, riled
and ready to escape smile; my fingers writhe as I
embed them into the very roots of creation--
The ineffable sun slides celestial blade
sleek and slowly across the skyline,
from the incision bleeds a black, darker than
any measure might merit; inescapable darkness falls now;
the tired universe may finally slumber.
Fingers tremble as I tare the inevitable Ebon
twilight, beyond the moons mournful glow and reveal
the inner-workings of kismet itself, my being
merges with the moonlit watching wearily now; riding
against gravity upward toward my escape, my misdeed.
Finally I may find freedom;
As I swim into the ether.
Bodhi again--
My awakening.
Author notes
Bodhi literally means awakening, its the word used to describe the awakening of the soul when one becomes enlightened in the practice of Buddhism. I say Bodhi too (2) because I wrote a poem called bodhi before, and I mean also to say Awakening too as if its an inclusion if that makes any sense.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Exceptional
This is really an amazing poem replete with brilliant word play employed by one with an obvious love for language. Your use of several poetic devices, such as assonance, consonance, and alliteration, combined with your arresting and original imagery, make this a very full-bodied and powerful poem indeed. Best of luck in the contest with this wonderful poem.
(p.s. I am putting you on my favorites list if you don't mind. You have a tremendous poetic talent. )
All the best,
David Michaels
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a good piece with good language used...a cool journey and a soothing and serene ending ...thanks for entering and good luck in the contest
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Impressive
Thanks for the comment before..I changed it a bit take a peek and let me know what you think. In turn I comment..though I picked one that I find interesting..and one structured differently in the same. I had to read the poem a few times to understand the entirety though I still may not now what it means -
I like the eternal rhymes in some places, but most of all I like the beauty in your words, very poetic, something I've been trying to learn and implement in my writings, I feel as though free write has taken away from the descriptiveness of poetry, sure we can get our point across directly, but thats not poetry, its the indepth meanings yet openess for your own interpetation that makes poetry, poetry, and thats what I see in this piece, art. I think I will study your work, so I may learn a few things. great work. -Jacen.
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beautiful
I like this. the imagery is amazing. I'm also glad u explained what Bodhi is. I like it. as usual tho your vocabulary far-exceeds mine. but any great poet will make u want to learn new words and ideas and you do that for me constantly. good write.
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