Someone once told me glowsticks last longer when
placed in the freezer. I suppose the thought
is to disrupt the chemicals until next
time the ephemeral, unsteady light is needed to
illuminate that wavering figure in the blackest corner.
But I couldn’t stomach the thought of keeping you
in my kitchen, so I left you in
the parking lot as I stumbled away,
your yellow neon blood parting for the dirt
and gravel as if commanded by Moses himself.
With a resounding crack you lit my world
more than I could have ever anticipated. Sun
to my Moon, you scorched my skin and
left me wanting water, my dry tongue a
thick and heavy burden in my mouth.
I hardly knew your face, but still you
summoned vivid orange visions behind my eyes -- red
skies in the morning, searing subtle gray thoughts
I never knew I never knew into soft,
pink flesh, forming angry scars that would haunt
me always while the sun hung in the sky.
Every day I try to lift your deep purple stain
from my cotton, off-white heart, but even
the most determined detergents always seem to fail.
So I keep it in the bottom of the
drawer, a confused bundle of emotions half-baked
by the sacrificial California sun and wonder whether
I accidentally did take you into my home, or
if I just failed to see you for what you
always were -- the figure in the corner.
Author notes
This is my private inferno. Lord, does it burn.
A different style for me. Tell me what you think.
Almost everything in this piece is a metaphor, bound to meanings for me, open for interpretation to you. Go ahead and run with it.
A contest entry
- Private Inferno by aliceramone.
500 points, ended July 12, 2007, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥ I need some fine wine. And you? You need to be nicer! ♥ by forbidden-colour.
300 points, ended August 21, 2007, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I loved every word of this, and every hauntingly beautiful image it created in my mind. This was stunnnning. I can't say it enough. Totally bookmarking this. Wow.
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"-whether
I accidentally did take you into my home, or
if I just failed to see you for what you
always were -- the figure in the corner."
This is wonderful work,
Thank you for entering,
best of luck
Sophie
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o.o... about all I can say is whoa... in the beginning it almost seemed liek a silly poem talking about glow sticks, but there was also something about the poem with an underlying darkness. I loved the phrase, cotton, off-white heart for some reason, nd talking about removing stains from it... this poem is awowsome..
GREAT SUPER job
diggin it majorly
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Very discriptive and full of imagery...
left me thinking at the end and going...hummmmm.
That is a good thing...sort of choppy at points but that ties in with the love part of it, choppy. All in all I like this and will read again before I leave the page.
Best of luck to you
Becky
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i like this. its got a wonderful picture wtih it, it's discriptive. also somewhat difficult to fallow at times, however i get the sense that that was the point. it was good and i love the colors. great job
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interesting,love the use of colors and there are some good metaphors here...the first and last stanzas are great and this write has left me intriqued-which is a sign of a great write...i shall come back soon and ponder on it some more...in the meantime-well done...thanks for entering and good luck in the contest
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