Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

another sunday, bloody sunday

sunday morning feeling flat
last night's dishes mouldering in the sink
floors are littered with corn chips and empty long necks
tv's preaching hallelujah's like a crackhead televangelist
playing cards lay strewn about like corpses on a battlefield
pizza cartons and stale crusts strewn around like empty magazine clips
leftover conversations hang in the sunday morning air
along with the smoky remnants of stale cigarettes
someone left a bong standing sentry guard
over the ruins of last nights marching parade
sunday morning still feeling flat
mouth tastes like the bottom of a dead bird's cage
last night's promise of redemption lie swirling in the sink
along with the oily residue of a takeaway pasta meal
all in all in the end it doesn't really matter
it's sunday, bloody sunday
and tommorrow is another day
away...


A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Estatic over him
    July 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is pretty good. i didnt like it as much as i have liked some of you other work. but this one is pretty good.


  • grannyeri gold member
    July 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Think this refers to those young kids down the block - the ones with the loud noises at 3 in the morning. Certainly couldn't be you, could it?


  • Cat gold member
    July 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    some really good images strewn throughout this piece- battlefield corpses and the bong standing sentry-

    i think the piece could use some tightening.. but that said... in the short time you were alotted for the contest you've done a really good job of painting a very accurate and i suspect common scene..

    thanks for entering