What rhymes with silver? (The thought makes me quilver.)
What rhymes with orange? (My brain lacks the storange.)
I verbally paint myself into a corner,
Then grasp for a rhyme that I ain't used before, (nor
has anyone else), but in my desperation
I take the first coupling without fermentation
And blast down the verses as quick as can be,
My poems are poem-y, but poetry free.
I look back again, I'm aghast, I'm chagrined,
But worst of all, often those poems have winned!
And yet I dive into all contests at handle,
To put trophies onto my virtual mantle.
Though "virtue" is not really playing a part:
I'm searching for trophies, not finding my art.
What I'm battling against (and I must keep on fighting),
Is playing with words and not serious writing.
I know I should finish that novel, that play
(or technical manual due yesterday).
At the end of the day, when the tale is told,
I can't fight temptation to go for the gold!
Author notes
I'm just having fun,
I should have said "won."
It's just recreation
Of quick incubation.
A contest entry
- PAY IT SIDEWAYS! by AliceinPoetryLand.
1850 points, ended July 22, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round One: Prewrites Only by reckless abandon.
330 points, ended July 23, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 45 of 45
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How refreshingly humourous and cleverly witty. I have in the past rejected reading rhyme in my spare time (unless of course I am judging a contest) because I find that many have to force their words and lose way of their message in a fight to find the perfect fit. However you manage a perfect fit with the greatest of ease. I feel like you have sat in a coffee shop and jotted this down on a napkin whilst smiling to yourself (and thinking, what a funny guy I am) and you'd be right! You certainly are
thanks for the morning giggles.
Emma
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Superb Plus
'tis a very fine write, indeed. Thanks for the chuckles, as this is one of the most humorous writes, I've ever read on the Creative Process. Thanks for sharing. -
Much fun / Should have won!
This line made me LOL:
"But worst of all, often those poems have winned!"
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this poem made me laugh, it was quite charming. i like the way that rules were abandoned, because poetry doesn't need to have rules does it?
and at the same time, there was rhyme and rhythm, so its all rather confusing to sum up.
well done, this is certainly different, bucks the trend, and makes a good job of it!
soph x
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I really like how you bend the rules of rhyme and the content is also great.
Keep on writing!
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Please accept my unreserved apology, seems that having an opinion is frowned upon... I have deleted my comments.
Good day to you
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Having an opinion is always welcome, and I enjoyed reading what you had to say. Apology accepted, of course; you are a gentleman and an asset to AllPoetry, my friend.
~Epistomolus
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satire
a wonderfully apt satire at some of the 'poetry' we invariably find on the net.
Thanks for the laughs,
Myron. -
this was fun and light in mood and perhaps content..a great break from the more heavier weighted down pieces that appear on this site so often...thanks for sharing...peace and light, kp
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Hell Yeah
dude amazing i know what you mean and im a rapper i hate being concealed by laws and ordinary stuff i make my own rhymes and tymes i want to people might not like but oh well i do amazing poem your a great poet if you want a sample of my rap go to my poems and look at my poem Legend Of Zelda-Zelda Rap
and for another suicide
there both great but this this is simply amazing great write i loved it
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awesome
a clever bit of wit,wit a wittle bit of ryhme.
yousing poetic licence, ain't poemy crime.
rudolf
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Kept me reading just to see where you were going. Quite a venture...
Lady Dragonwyck
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Very Impressed
"My poems are poem-y, but poetry free." My favourite line, because this is how i feel about my own poems. i liked it alot though, i've not long been on this site but this is definetly the most relaxed and easy going poem i've read. Thanks Very much!!!
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Nice!
That was really cool and it flowed so well and theres a message in there always go for the gold lol good job u deserve the spotlight
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Rhymes and flows smoothly
Like over a rainbow this poem slides. Whether there'll be a pot of Gold... prize depends where this contest ends. BTW: Love virtual mantel visual... that all we fellow poets know well with most of us still remembering OUR FIRST.
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Judging by a few anal-retentive comments on your hilarious poem, some people need to lighten up a little, and realize when the tongue is planted firmly in the cheek. A really playful poem that was ridiculous and funny. I too have an insatiable lust for fool's gold, seeing how I never got any gold stars in elementary school, just crappy report cards, one of which i dropped in the aisle at the exact same moment as the girl sitting in the desk next to mine puked on it literally.
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very clever write. I like the part about not getting to the projects we should be taking seriously. I can definitely relate to. and the technical manual jab was brilliant. also i am a fan of door hinge for a rhyme of orange.
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I like it makes sense and is fun to read and no mistakes
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I accidentally clicked on this piece, glad I did
I don't agree with poppa at all. I, myself, cringe when I look through some "poetry" on this site and find it full of grammatical and spelling errors, but this was clearly done for the humour. It was very creative and clever work. Shame it didn't manage to feed your habit.
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Alright poppa
I've got three words that will put an end to your very own hipocritical sycophansy. Lewis Carrol. Jabberwocky. a language has to adapt and change, and it's little creative whimsies like this that that keep poetry alive, inventive and other things. although, the word Chilver soes actually rhyme with silver.
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
did gyre and gimble in the wabe
all mimsy where the borogroves
and the momeraths outgrabe.
I thank you. -
i will disagree with the comment below, with abuse language, new words are coming into language all the time, why not invent a word and live in the hope it becomes widely used, or not so if you want to be unique!
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I really enjoyed this poem, it was absolutely excellent, with great humor. Very well penned. A great read to start the week.
Be well,
Trent
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'And blast down the verses as quick as can be,
My poems are poem-y, but poetry free.'
I absolutely -loved- this piece!
So true and so well said!
=D
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Superb
I love your sense of humor in this write. You expressed yourself quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
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This is awesome!~ Seuss would be proud!
I had trouble rhyming something with promises, so I used the rhyme feature here on All Poetry, as I was writing and they came up with Thomas's. Perfecto!
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Ha ha ha, tee hee!
You have given me a smile and lightened my load tonight!
Your wit is charming and unpretentious! My writes can be down right depressing I'm afraid! Thank you for this little bit of honesty and humor. I really enjoyed it! I bet your are quite the conversationalist! Very articulate and friendly.
All the best,
I hope you win the gold!
CP
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hehe...this kind of made me laugh...especially with the orange part!!
---Thousand Petals
Merry Christmas!! -
An interesting twist on rhyming indeed
I thought it was funny...
look there goes a bunny....
Okay, seriously LOL, A nice write...and obviously spelling rules dont apply here. I like how it also has a lesson intertwined within the words, about finding your art, or your muse, instead of finding the gold, or chasing pride.
Nicely written
"Pick up the pen and never put it down again"
ASM
AKA Raymond -
I can not improve on your poem, for it all seems too true as I look back on what I write. I'm not feeling worthy of the title poet at the moment, but your observations are marvelous in regard to the contests and the kick our egos get out of garnering gold. I've a feeling you are a fabulous writer, though. I enjoyed this.
Karen
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Thanks for the kind comments.
Worthy of the title? "Poet" is a state of mind, not an award or a label. You deserve it by accepting it. Nobody really achieves perfect poetry. The joy is in the lifelong pursuit. I'm glad to have you with me on the journey.
Epistomolus -
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Well said friend
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Great title, common affliction!
Love initial couplet with "quilver" and "storange."
Delightful "verbally paint myself into a corner;" having done that many a time myself! Love your creative rhyme with "corner" of "before, nor!"
Nice description of grabbing 1st available rhyme without mentally weighing it ("without fermentation").
Painful accuracy in "poem-y, but poetry free." Reflective assessment "Though "virtue" is not really playing a part."
Frankly, I enjoy playing with words! (But no one who knows me is looking for me to produce any technical manuals!)
I did appreciate your use of made up words, of creative rhyming, of ungrammatical "ain't" and "winned," as well as some excellent vocabulary. I enjoyed this.
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Outstanding
This had me laughing, the gold trophys are part of the reason we all wind up so addicted to allpoetry. There is an unfortunate limit to the number of rhymes available in the english language - and even more so in iambic meter. I liked how you were so creative with language in this post and with rhyme. I loved the line:
My poems are poem-y, but poetry free.
I feel like this a lot. Keep writing you have a lot of natural ability.
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Hmmmm go for gold… I think I’m missing something, competitive poetry¿? Like asking who was the best composer of all time – not only would the answer be meaningless, but for me, different from day to day¡!
Still a lot of people seem to like contests on here – so ))))shrug((((.
I rather like word wrangling… in fact I do not think I’m a poet but a wordsmith – so I quite like this type of work, although perhaps a tad more general and bit more polished…
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The poem is tongue-in-cheek. I like the contests when they have an interesting prompt, or a word list, or some other sort of restriction that forces me to be creative within certain boundaries.
How would you improve on my poem? -
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Having read more of your writing I would not presume to tell you how to improve your poem, if you wanted it different it surely would be so¡! Were it mine however I would alter it by adding alliteration, assonance, internal rhyme, puns a plenty, bad jokes and heaps more sly syllable shimmering; doggerel. (Well you did ask¡!)
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And I was happy to get your reply. Just want to be sure you know it's perfectly okay to give concrete examples and suggestions here. We all know that other people's ideas aren't necessarily "better," but they give us a different perspective. Most of the time my suggestions are ignored and the author comes up with something much better in response.
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:] In a way this made me laugh, I love it! This is a great poem, its new from everything I've read. Thanks for entering the contest and good luck!
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A great write with so much truth for all of us.A very funny poetic response. Thanks so much for your entry.
Gaylene
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Funny poem- I love it.
Sometimes good stuff comes fast and under pressure-
I often pick contests that are about to close and write something fast. Of course, I don't usually win, but. . .
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This is so true of many of us I'm sure. I'm thinking what can I do with all these points at the same time as trawling for the next challenge, just to prove I can. Love the poem, unusual and amusing. Thank you, I enjoyed reading.
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Haha. amazing. It's humorous and quite curious. Cute poem. despite the fact that it was just for fun, you still made it turn out so beautifully.bravo
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