What rhymes with silver? (The thought makes me quilver.)
What rhymes with orange? (My brain lacks the storange.)
I verbally paint myself into a corner,
Then grasp for a rhyme that I ain't used before, (nor
has anyone else), but in my desperation
I take the first coupling without fermentation
And blast down the verses as quick as can be,
My poems are poem-y, but poetry free.
I look back again, I'm aghast, I'm chagrined,
But worst of all, often those poems have winned!
And yet I dive into all contests at handle,
To put trophies onto my virtual mantle.
Though "virtue" is not really playing a part:
I'm searching for trophies, not finding my art.
What I'm battling against (and I must keep on fighting),
Is playing with words and not serious writing.
I know I should finish that novel, that play
(or technical manual due yesterday).
At the end of the day, when the tale is told,
I can't fight temptation to go for the gold!
Author notes
I'm just having fun,
I should have said "won."
It's just recreation
Of quick incubation.
A contest entry
- PAY IT SIDEWAYS! by AliceinPoetryLand.
1850 points, ended July 22, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round One: Prewrites Only by katiethepirate.
330 points, ended July 23, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I can not improve on your poem, for it all seems too true as I look back on what I write. I'm not feeling worthy of the title poet at the moment, but your observations are marvelous in regard to the contests and the kick our egos get out of garnering gold. I've a feeling you are a fabulous writer, though. I enjoyed this.
Karen
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Thanks for the kind comments.
Worthy of the title? "Poet" is a state of mind, not an award or a label. You deserve it by accepting it. Nobody really achieves perfect poetry. The joy is in the lifelong pursuit. I'm glad to have you with me on the journey.
Epistomolus
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Great title, common affliction!
Love initial couplet with "quilver" and "storange."
Delightful "verbally paint myself into a corner;" having done that many a time myself! Love your creative rhyme with "corner" of "before, nor!"
Nice description of grabbing 1st available rhyme without mentally weighing it ("without fermentation").
Painful accuracy in "poem-y, but poetry free." Reflective assessment "Though "virtue" is not really playing a part."
Frankly, I enjoy playing with words! (But no one who knows me is looking for me to produce any technical manuals!)
I did appreciate your use of made up words, of creative rhyming, of ungrammatical "ain't" and "winned," as well as some excellent vocabulary. I enjoyed this.
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Outstanding
This had me laughing, the gold trophys are part of the reason we all wind up so addicted to allpoetry. There is an unfortunate limit to the number of rhymes available in the english language - and even more so in iambic meter. I liked how you were so creative with language in this post and with rhyme. I loved the line:
My poems are poem-y, but poetry free.
I feel like this a lot. Keep writing you have a lot of natural ability.
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Hmmmm go for gold… I think I’m missing something, competitive poetry¿? Like asking who was the best composer of all time – not only would the answer be meaningless, but for me, different from day to day¡!
Still a lot of people seem to like contests on here – so ))))shrug((((.
I rather like word wrangling… in fact I do not think I’m a poet but a wordsmith – so I quite like this type of work, although perhaps a tad more general and bit more polished…
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The poem is tongue-in-cheek. I like the contests when they have an interesting prompt, or a word list, or some other sort of restriction that forces me to be creative within certain boundaries.
How would you improve on my poem? -
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Having read more of your writing I would not presume to tell you how to improve your poem, if you wanted it different it surely would be so¡! Were it mine however I would alter it by adding alliteration, assonance, internal rhyme, puns a plenty, bad jokes and heaps more sly syllable shimmering; doggerel. (Well you did ask¡!)
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And I was happy to get your reply. Just want to be sure you know it's perfectly okay to give concrete examples and suggestions here. We all know that other people's ideas aren't necessarily "better," but they give us a different perspective. Most of the time my suggestions are ignored and the author comes up with something much better in response.
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:] In a way this made me laugh, I love it! This is a great poem, its new from everything I've read. Thanks for entering the contest and good luck!
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A great write with so much truth for all of us.A very funny poetic response. Thanks so much for your entry.
Gaylene
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Funny poem- I love it.
Sometimes good stuff comes fast and under pressure-
I often pick contests that are about to close and write something fast. Of course, I don't usually win, but. . .
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This is so true of many of us I'm sure. I'm thinking what can I do with all these points at the same time as trawling for the next challenge, just to prove I can. Love the poem, unusual and amusing. Thank you, I enjoyed reading.
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Haha. amazing. It's humorous and quite curious. Cute poem. despite the fact that it was just for fun, you still made it turn out so beautifully.bravo
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