We can't go on this way, she said,
You understand that, don't you?
Time was you felt like part of me
But now I barely know you.
These substances, which once served as
Our shared but secret lover,
Are poisoning our minds as if
We're trying to spite each other.
Scraping through the days in
States of desperate confusion.
Surrendering our future
To this chemical delusion.
What twisted kind of happiness
Delights in such unease?
Devours you from the inside
Like a merciless disease.
Please put away that rolled-up note
And wipe the mirror clean.
We'll fool ourselves the last few years
Have been some awful dream.
Before this rot consumes the tree,
Lets grab that final leaf;
Turn it over, scratch it,
Hope there's something underneath.
Author notes
This is about drug addiction
A contest entry
- New Members Contest JULY 2007 by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended August 10, 2007, 35 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The drugs or me-worth more points. by GhettoBarbiemitbaby.
540 points, ended December 23, 2007, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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usually it takes me alot to follow a story but i kept this story from the first line all the way to the end. it was very truthful, very heart wrenching and because ive been through that before.....i totally got it and understood it. this was a very good write. thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
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Thank you for entering I appreciate the time you took. It's very thought provoking and easily read and I feel it.
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you did a lovely job here, I watched my sister go through illegal drug addictions, and it didn't only nearly kill her, but it did kill her relationships with people.. Thanks for sharing ^^
-Danneh<3 -
This brings horrible memories to life for me. I have personally never had these addictions but I have watched people I love succumb to nothing because of the effects of drugs. Thank you for the emotional roller coaster.
Good luck in the contest.
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very good
great social comment about the most cursed chemistry.
very good rhyming and imagery unveiled.
your 2nd verse is brilliant !
your poem should be taught in all schools
as warning to young inquisitive fools.
returning the favour: for your recent generous praise for my Vermin poem.
i will be reading more of your poetry later when i get time.
thanks. best wishes
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This is great and welcome to AP .... your pen knows the words to soar and you know how to get your message across,
Riftkin -
"Before this rot consumes the tree,
Lets grab that final leaf;
Turn it over, scratch it,
Hope there's something underneath."
Very mind provoking,
I was thinking about all the possible things that could be, and I'm still wondering [:
How did I miss this one?!
Fantastic write!
Allpoetry has gained a wonderful poet [:
Much love & smiles
Sophie
X
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Welcome to AllPoetry
quietmonster
Powerful write mate, very powerful
"Lets grab that final leaf;
Turn it over, scratch it,
Hope there's something underneath."
Fantastic ending to such poem!
Well done
Best of luck in the contest
Stay safe
Enjoy AllPoetry
~Amanda
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Welcome to All Poetry !
Great rhyme and flow with this. Enjoyed reading it, will take alook at more of your work. Thank you for entering the contest and good luck...GETS
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Thanks for your entry
Drugs can certainly take their toll and the end result is a life lost. Whether you die or survive you still lost a big part of your life and it will affect you the rest of your life.
Good luck and welcome to allpoetry. I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy
Site Greeter -
Those last few lines made my day. Great work. This has great flow and great wordings. Welcome to AP and good luck with this poem.
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Welcome to Allpoetry and thank you for entering!
What an interesting take on the holiday, and an interesting way in which to portray it. I liked what you had to say, the use of punctuation in the last stanza was well done.
Thanks for entering and good luck
Faerie - Site Greeter
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Beautiful
i love the flow of this poem....
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Welcome to AllPoetry
And thanks for your entry. I love the way you ended the poem. This is a write that leaves a reader thinking about consequences of some of the things we do. Very nicely done
Good luck in the contest.
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Thanks for entering
This is brilliant. Great take on Fool's Paradise and it is written with such fluid flow and rhythm that it makes for an excellent read.
Enjoyed this poem tremendously
Let the ink flow and your fingers dance
Rosemary -
Thank you very much for the entry
Very, very grand writing here, love the rhyme and theme. Nice work! Thank you very much for taking the time to write for and enter our contest. Best wishes and welcome to AllpoetryDove
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Welcome to All Poetry !
Bravo! An excellent write which is very thought provoking. Too many people fill themselves with deadly cocktails of drugs and the world and life slips on by.
Thanks so much for your entry.
Gaylene
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