I don't want to die
I tell myself, I know.
Push a button in my mind, rewind..
I analyze myself,
although...
A thought creeping, seeping throughout
my skull.
Like battery acid on skin,
in this situation its no win.
I don't want to die,
fight the intrusion
I don't want to die,
make it a conclusion.
We all die I know
It's the only way
to go.
Author notes
You can also just write something..those are just options...this is a dark/choice poem that shows the struggle when we are depressed/suicidal. I use the word seeping which is in your (kinda) sugestions. blood seeps thru the grass.
A contest entry
- Open! Open!! Read this!! haha by Dark Angel Reborn.
390 points, ended July 20, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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We all die I know
It's the only way
to go.
I love the way you worked in these last three lines, they really end the poem well. I personally couldn't feel much emotion in this. maybe you could be a bit more creative. But its overall a great piece of poetry.
well done and keep up the great work! -
Very nice
I don't want to die.
It's the only way to go.
I know these things, but I can't beat the thoughts that threaten my safety. Instead I make a choice to accept them. It's the best way to reach absolution
Unless you don't know what absolution is.
-Danneh<3
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Struggling with the concepts behind this poem at the moment, death never really terrified me before and now it's at the forefront of my thoughts, it's the great escape but also the big defeat. i think you organised those thoughts with far greater skill than i have managed. Shame you didn't win the contest, this is a really good poem.
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Very nice poem but you have a mispelling in your piece. "my scull" I think that it should be "my sKull" Mabey you wanted like that I don't know. A lot of times people will mispell certain words on purpose to make a point. I don't know if this is what you were trying to do. But overall a very nice poem
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well done spellin cop. done .
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Very different, very dark feelings in this.
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Hmmm. Interesting poem. I hope there is not a reason you're screaming that you don't want to die...
Write on.
~*~ -
This is really cool. this if it had two people writing it it could have went into my CAGE Match contest. Great job. Loved it so much.
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This is a deep poem with a statement that is so true for all. None of us truely want to die but sometime we hit a point where it seems to be the best possible solution, whether it is or not we think that. I have been there. Death has sounded very tempting at times, and right now I am at a point where I am trying to stay alive and not doing it in the best ways. I can really sense a battle going on in your mind it is like I can hear it going on. If I can offer any advice it would be that too fight through each day and try to think that there is better to come. I know that can be very hard. Take care and keep writing.
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Wow, very deep and powerful to one has been in that same place. I find for me it's a combination of wanting the pain to end but also fear of actually dying. Thank you for sharing your work.
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i like this. forcing yourself, convincing yourself that you dont want it. i know that feeling too well. you have to tell yourself its wrong, its not worth it, its not what you want. very well done, thank you
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A dark write showing the confusion of someone depressed contemplating suicide. The form is wonderful for the flow of this write. Vivid imagery as well. I loved this one.
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amazing
Loved the flow throughout it, the imagery was vivid. Id really like to hear more like this from you. The stanzas were set up perfectly, so it just flowed really well. can't wait to see more.
-no-way-ap -
This was a very dark piece. I enjoyed this read very much. I liked the lines, "A thought creeping, seeping throughout
my scull.
Like battery acid on skin,
in this situation its no win."
This poem flowed really well.
Keep up the good writing. -
I think there are a whole lot of people who don't want to die but unfortunately that's the way life goes... We can only hope that we get as many years as possible well displayed your feelings here!
Leander -
This piece was really really goood. Thanks for entering it in my contest I liked it a lot...mainly because (Other than the writing being awesome) i can relate to it very well. Good job and thanks for entering.
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Excellent
A strong solid piece with excellent flow of thought. This let me feel as if I was sitting somewhere, anywhere...able to listen in on your thought process as you penned this. Excellent work, I really enjoyed this piece! Thought provoking good work! my pleasure to read, ~Tia
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