A crayfish lives under a rock
testing the world with feelers
through algal ports, waiting
time delivers food
Her skeletal container
holds her life
She picks her way
through catacombs
where death collects
What reception does her brain give to smell?
What reception for taste?
What reception can there be
for a brain upstaged by black caviare eyes?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
I believe ...
that Grunts Girl is correct. This works much better without stanza two.
-
I actually like this best without the second stanza..
I think it packs a powerful punch by itself and would add the questions in author comments... but that is just me..
a slow journey to a life wishing it wasn't wasted waiting for her time to the marble gardens...
enjoyed where this took me. -
-
Thanks for the suggestion, I am considering. I tried to rate your comment 5 stars for the suggestion
-
-
how do you do the rate thing?
lol.. I see it and wanted to do one of yours but I think I missed the button.
I will have to look more closely before I close windows from now on
-
-
-
Niftiful.
Heh, this poem is interesting. I love the imagery of crustaceans. I like the movement and description in the first stanza. The second stanza seems to wonder what it is like from the crayfish's perspective. I wonder that about bugs sometimes.
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
