She stirs the ocean
of my heart,
such tiny fingers
send ripples
through my essence.
In domino effect
cadence of waves erupt,
pulsations of love
swell.
Only a fingertip's swirl,
yet I am mesmerised
by the ebb and flow
of surging emotions
that fill my ocean.
Chained by her innocence
I drown within
the purity
of her deep blue
seas.
Author notes
PROMPT
She's a fingertip's swirl in an ocean...
A contest entry
- She's a fingertip's swirl in an ocean... by tara wilson.
900 points, ended July 13, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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this isnt as good as believe but its alright . keep up the good work
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"such tiny fingers
send ripples
through my essence."
I like how you saw a child...very beautiful...thank you for this entry
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Wonderful!
Wonderful images You have brought forth and the words ebb and flow
Feel as if there
Beautifully penned!!
Thank You for sharing this!
Best wishes to You in the contest
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Oh, this is beautiful, what a way to show the love for a child. This is written so well, it captured me and it has such amazing metaphor and imagery as well as a depth of emotion that rings so true. What an beautiful take on the prompt, I wish you good luck in the contest and all the best!~
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butiful mum good luck in the contest xxx cheeky xxx
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Absolutely lovely. The metaphor is held skillfully forward from beginning to end. The imagery is amazing and moving. I could feel this piece as well as see it as I read it. The last stanza is resounding with the perfect one-word final line.
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Excellent
Very touching. Love the way you begain it with the ocean of the heart and then took us to "the purity of her deep blue seas." A very skillfully done piece. Best of luck in the contest.
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brillaintly and beautifally written
creates a good image in the readers mind and captivates the reader to read on.
very well written
good luck
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