Sleeping silently in this hell I call life
With his scent still clinging to my pillow
The one I love
The one I need
Beneath the new distractions' overpowering, alluring aroma
Promises are promises
Nothing is strong enough
Important enough
To break them
Lost in my thoughts of the love of my life
Fantasies of what should be our perfect future
As if he had never said we needed time apart
And left me alone
In a cruel world
That hates me more with every passing day
But the dreams help me through it
Remember your promises
To be together once again
In the near future
How I love those dreams
Yet there comes a second dream
An exciting thriller
Starring my new distraction
While I play the supporting role of a confused lover
Wondering about my true love
As I lay in the arms of a past broken heart
The second dream
The recurring lust
Only lust
Never deserving love
Nor receieving it
Can I feel my own heartbeat
When I'm miles away from the empty shell I call my body
Wallowing in dreamland where I can switch between lust and love
With no worries
Or concequences
Of my actions
Author notes
the second dream
A contest entry
- Options Contest, Allowing Prewrites by AlternateCandidate.
500 points, ended August 13, 2007, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I think that you have a very good idea here, and you obviously feel the emotions expressed in the poem very stongly, but to be truthful, the poem is full of overused phrases/cliches. I suggest editing it and trying to step outside the box a little. Phrases like "this hell I call life" and "a cruel world" are used way too much and won't distinguish you from other poets. Feel free to make edits, and I will reread and possibly comment again before I judge. Thank you so much for entering.
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I love it.
There's nothing more I need to say.
Except starring should be staring
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