After his creation
he was just a toy
a teddy bear for some child somewhere.
Instead a man had taken him
not a cent was paid
and made him strings, a marionette.
For years he moved from place to place
and slowly fell apart.
Losing all his stuffing
and being left on the side of the road.
For years more, he was moved along the way.
Never meeting another soul
who would come and take him away.
Eventually a woman
found him to be had.
She replaced his stuffing
and repaired his broken seam's,
she replaced the smile he wore
with a saddened frown.
The toy of such sad make long since forgotten
moved along again.
He made his way to the hands of a boy
who made him such a mess.
The boy neglected him and he fell to disrepair.
He sat inside the attic of the boy for many many years,
he watched the boy all grown up
hide and steal and cheat,
twice he saw a body brought up by the boy
murderers and scoundrels
were the owners of this toy.
When police arrested the boy and his friends
that toy was taken far away.
An antique shop of older roots
came and took the bear.
And so he sits inside the room
never changing pace
just frowning and watching
collecting dust and mold.
What have you seen these many years you've been without life?
Your ripped and losing pieces of yourself along the way.
You've heard the screams of laugher
you've seen the tears of pain.
You've watched as one man stole another's life away.
many had not noticed Terry as he sat upon his shelf.
Slowly showing signs of neglect and decay.
His large oval eyes stared blankly on the room,
he saw everything.
He held inside, mute witness,
of the terrors that befell so many all around him.
He watched as one child cried for she could not have that which she wanted
he watched as one grown woman cried over her dead husband.
Never ceasing to gaze upon the world in all its messed up glory.
Everyday and everynight he sat and never moved.
Many a man and woman would boast of their long lives
the things that they had seen.
But Terry held inside his mind of fluff and dust and death
so many secrets
so many memories
so many things people wish to never see.
Murder,
Theft,
and loss.
All were part of his everyday.
And so when noones watching
he cries tears of black decay.
Author notes
hey this is a work oin progress, if there is anything you think could be added or should be taken away please I am open to suggestions. Cause i really want it to be longer and Explain a much more elaborate life and thus this is just the very beginning maybe to a series of poems based upon this character, but any tthoughts and suggestions are completely welcome.
Thanks everyone.
--Lucian Adonis
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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wow
that is amazing and i can picture everything and some of it reflects on what my life can be or seem like, a shelf holing and watching the fall of others. It is amazing. I love it
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amazing
Wow. I really, really liked this. It actually sounded a bit like my life? Kind of? Ish? But yeah, it was grand.
What have you seen these many years you've been without life?/Your ripped and losing pieces of yourself along the way.
To me, that statement related to a rift between a friend and me in Freshman year that has never really closed itself ... So this poem really meant something to me.
One thing about that verse though, and I'm sure a few other places -- You're, not your
I'm a grammar buff.
I don't think there's anything you could do to make this poem better ... The suggestion thing here is telling me to talk about line numbers. I don't really know why. Oh well...
Good job!
Kat
(from espin
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I think this is the perfect length for it. This is, by far, the most moving thing I've read in a while. I love the story of the poem, and how one era flows right into the next but there's still kind of a sense of stagnancy throughout it all. The idea behind this poem is absolutely brilliant, and you pulled it off expertly.
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wow, this is really good! definatley not the kind of thing you see every day but it's really good and it really makes you think...great job on this!!
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Besides one or two minor typos and a hyphen needed in No-one in your next to last line, this is rather good.
You tell a good story. You have a prose style that could benefit greatly from rhyme or Blank verse
( Non rhyming, iambic pentameter) and from
smooth metre.
Well done.
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that was wonderful
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I was very suprised when I started reading this, but in the end I was thouroughly impressed. You used the poetic deviced brilliantly throughout this poem. I loved how you wrote it as if the toy was watching this boy's life and how you put emotions to him. My favorite lines would have to be,
"You've heard the screams of laugher
you've seen the tears of pain.
You've watched as one man stole another's life away." I really just love the way you put these........Awesome job and keep up the great work!!!!!!!
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Great!
Very beautifully written! and the imagery and the fantastic flow is brilliant..i love the vocabulary used in this piece and everything is done so well...i love the way u acarried it till the end, its marvellous piece of work that u haev shared with us. I love these lines the most..
He watched as one child cried for she could not have that which she wanted
he watched as one grown woman cried over her dead husband.
Never ceasing to gaze upon the world in all its messed up glory.
Everyday and everynight he sat and never moved.
Many a man and woman would boast of their long lives
the things that they had seen.
God bless,
MAnsoor -
BRILLIANT
This is just grand! I loveeeeeeeeeee the concept! Your imagery, vocabulary, and all things above are sweetfully meticullious. YOU GO!!!!!!!!! WE WANT MORE!
POETDONTKNOWIT
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I just want to add some applause xx
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This is very good
I really enjoyed this so I'm pleased to see that you are going to add more.A very good poem xx
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