It is supposed to take
a thousand years. I knew
you the first moment you called
my name. Magic held
eternity as fingers described your life.
I braided my breath into your hair,
traced the outlines of your footsteps
before high tide stole you away.
Felt the grace of moonlight,
the burnished silver skin ripple
lead my finger to hot springs,
call forth from my lips
these kisses of the midnight sun.
I could feel your hand steal into mine.
Your shoulder lean into me.
Share breakfast, kiss the egg
from the corner of your lips,
I feel your tongue tell me
the power of your real name.
I watch you, look down,
hands on my chest ~
shatter into a thousand origami cranes;
then, a letter folded against my heart, alive,
a breath of light in my soul.
9:35 AM
07/07/077
Newington, VA
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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Those shattering origami cranes are magnificent!
This is not a poem it is a painter's canvas. Each line being a brushstroke that can stand alone as well as blend with the whole. Everything here inspires and matters.
Bravo!
Karin
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Thank you this one was a joy to write. I reads at open mics well too
I have one along this lines that may be better called Love never dies.
Take a look and tell me what you think. You catch alot of my key points.
~ Tom
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beautifully spoken. I feel each breath and braid. Lovely. Thank you so much for sharing this with me
Mel
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Just thought it might, maybe, put a smile into your day. Love, Tom B.
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Thank you for the road map, Tom. This really does strike a chord. Love is wonderful when first discovered and I am hoping that in 20 years time I will still be here saying the same thing.
Your words bring a beautiful 'breath of light to my soul'
Thank you so much.
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This was a moment of grace. We have choices. I choose to celebrate love rather then be a resource for complaint.
~ Tom B.
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Such a sweet poem, put together really well. Makes me sigh and smile just to read it. I give it a 10. Wonderful.
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Wrapping two within this world
the breath of memories twined
before limbs to earth are hurled
each identity blooms devined.
All that is to dream and know
only seems to have just begun,
love unfolding now in touch
knows kindred spirit... ONE.
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This poem is stunning. You need to maybe flesh it out or maybe just give it a title. Mention my poem as inspiration, okay. But I think your word are divine and have so much to say. Love, Tom B.
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This is beautiful. Wonderfully penned. I rate this 9/10.
Bella -
5/10
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you never seem to fail my eyes love this is the second piece you delivered to my eyes that was very tatseful and delicious to the reading world you gave such power in this write i hope you don't disappoint me i want you and one other and dont come ask me cause i want tell you to be the next top poet this is beyond a 10 dear.
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This poem really proves your talent. I love this poem because of the beautiful imagery and wording. I give this a perfect 10!
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you are the master Tom 'I braided my breath into your hair,' had me sighing. Another spectacularly sensual one that I will never even try to compete with
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Me, a Master
, I laugh because I have so much still to learn. There is still so much I want to experience.
Glad you enjoyed this poem. Your joy always lights my heart. we are never in competition, there is none when being honest and clear in the sharing of feelings, awareness. Love Tom B.
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This has to be "The Most Sensual Write Ever" -
no doubt, the contest giver will read this
and smack herself in the forehead - "OF course!"
and honor you with gold I, on the other hand,
can only give you a kiss...this is amazing, Tom.
Love, Lane
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I follow the energy. You know what I mean. I make a comment and it becomes "The Gift." Not because the comment was great, but the energy in the comment was alive and sang to me. This one was the same way. After spending a night with it, I wrote it down in the morning. Wonderful thing to wake up to. Like any interaction it invigorates. Perhaps it is in part the interaction of our energy in different ways that makes things so vibrant. You tell me.
Love, Tom B.
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You have captured with detail and precision the essence of getting to know that special someone. The early stages of a relationship are such an adrenalin rush.
You write so vividly that your poems have motion.
Excellent work as always!
Cris
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this one is just joy. You are right about the early stages. I am glad you felt the energy I try to fill my lines with. Love, Tom B.
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such a sultry feel
to this, but sad, as well... the image of the following line:
"shatter into a thousand origami cranes;"
is absolutely amazing and stunning to me... this is an incredible piece... it combines some simplistic ordinary moments with sheer intensity... these words are beautifully and kind of enigmatically woven together!
brilliant composition!
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I wanted to cover a whole lot of ways to know somebody. I wanted to capture the intricacies of touch from the simple, romantic, exotic, silly thewhole panapoly. I get from what you say that I succeeded. Love Tom B.
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"I braided my breath into your hair,
traced the outlines of your footsteps
before high tide stole you away."
Ahhh...so the hills ARE alive with the sound of music...
This is a lovely, profound penning, my Friend...Good luck in the contest... Wanda
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You, of course, caught the musical inference. I don't feel so all alone I am glad this delighted you. We both have a sensual awareness and I delight in how differently we express it. Love Tom B.
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this is gorgeous! i am in awe... love how you have managed to tie in so many images that touch all along the body and the senses, and strokes the ears and mind with its beauty.
"I braided my breath into your hair," is breathtaking to me
"traced the outlines of your footsteps
before high tide stole you away" clever and vivid
"hands on my chest ~
shatter into a thousand origami cranes" ♥
the repetition of the "name," holding the power of person who lays behind it, also works well.
i think the eating breakfast together, in a little different way, is a sweet and very realistic, down to earth image (even though it grosses me out so much for some reason that it's egg)
sidenote: "the burnished sliver skin ripple"- did you mean "burnished silver"(?)
anyways, definetly lush yet gentle and very sensual. wonderful job! -
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I thought I had thanked you for catching the sliver to silver need. I am always appreciative of a close read. I truly value this in depth review. You show so many of the different windows and mirrors that I used in this poem to capture the many different ways we learn and express intimacy. Thank you for all that you have shared. Love Tom B.
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so so so pretty
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You are such a romantic
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lol ssssh. someone might hear u and believe that nonsense!
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I will never tell, but I know it is true. You are hard candy with a sweet soft center
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It would be wonderful to just be so free you can experience everything your senses can give you, let it run wild and feel the joy every moment. Love, C
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I told you. It was a poem in the making.
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This s the kind of intimacy that gives me butterflies in my tummy. You are a Master or poetry as well! Am wishing You the very best in the contest...but i know You don't need luck!!!
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It is about being free to know all your senses. A chance to be absolutely free just to feel every feeling and let it bring you close.
Love Tom B.
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I love the nonverbal forms of communication you describe here. In the first stanza, the last line makes me think of sign language,communicating thru kisses in the middle, and a letter/origami against the heart in the last stanza. What a great way to say "we dont have to speak to know each other's minds" without saying exactly that. Love this. Good luck in the contest.
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We speak to each other in so many ways. i just wanted to explore them and bring them forward as part of the discovery of each other. I stole the title from an old musical.
Love, Tom B.
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This is deeply touching...very sensual indeed. I am glad to have this entry...you poets are making this a very difficult contest to judge! Honestly...this is very nice, I love it...thanks and best of luck!
Blessings,
Azlyn
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Thanks for all the sweet compliments. I am touched that my words brought you joy. Joy multiplies in the sharing. Peace & Love, Tom B.
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