Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Competiting With Love

~~~~~~~
Upon a stallion, within the chair of distress
The resonance of the wheels treading upon dawn's pane
~~~~~~~~~~~~

I once asked in my youth
"can we love two at the same time?"
I found out later it was rather,
“How do you love two with one heart?”

Moments if she could share
her blissful times again with me
I would have chose the first men presented
and then bestow my whole love to him
for when the twilight came
when we were to amend our whole heart
a piece was not there

I was selfish to myself not knowing that the chest
can not bear two other hearts

As liken to a vitamin or the taste
of salt only a limit is there of goodness
For in life where their is goodness
grief follows just behind
and though grief’s footsteps
are of silence to one’s ears
so in the melody of love
how do you hear anything else

and liken to a paper folding
it twice shall only give one less
So I, in love with two
only gave my life fewer love

~~~~~~~~~
the drenching uncomfort ache of a resonance
as the wheel comes to a stop
Distress parks behind a wooden park
and lays my heart upon the still pond
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~







In a list

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • DesolatELifE
    December 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I'm not sure why because I feel sick and can't think, but I like this part best:

    'As liken to a vitamin or the taste
    of salt only a limit is there of goodness
    For in life where their is goodness
    grief follows just behind
    and though grief’s footsteps
    are of silence to one’s ears
    so in the melody of love
    how do you hear anything else'

    though obviously I like it all. 'obviously' simply because it's good thanks for entering


  • The Madman silver member
    November 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very Nice

    When I first started reading this, I found it hard to follow along (maybe it's the meds)...but backing up, reading it slowly and allowing the thought process the imagry to develop, it's beauty was truly unveiled. It's not one for light readers, but for deep thinkers, who give it the time and thought it requires, it's a gem,
    Very nice, Aurielle, and look forward to reading more of yours as time permits. How does one get to everyone!

    Evan


  • superonion
    October 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    cool

    nice poem. you have a real talent here. i especially like the

    "For in life where their is goodness
    grief follows just behind
    and though grief’s footsteps
    are of silence to one’s ears
    so in the melody of love
    how do you hear anything else"

    part. this is so true. anyway, go thoughtful metaphors! especially ones relating to music.

  • da-boi-next-door
    July 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Is it true what is written there about "who would know more about loving two people at the same time more than you?" Anyways, I've been through this kind of things and I had my heart broken apart. It is not a good feeling or a good thing to get into. This is certainly an adorable piece. It has a beautiful feel of supreme beauty and an immense splendeur of maturity. Love the flow and the reasonning there my friend


  • Rele anmwe
    July 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    who would know more about loving two people at the same time more than you? Experience is virtue, well expressed. Keep up the great work and thank you for sharing

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    July 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your profound and thought provoking entry, Josephine


  • patsoldcat
    July 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    very good

    i liked the images and feel to this though i am curious sad.

    if one folds a paper in half, you still have the same paper it is just transformed to another shape

    i believe love though is not paper with a limited or aloted amount and area i feel it is endles and boundless.

    again a nicely written poem and i loved it. luck and wishes in the contest.

1 - 7 of 7