I have written on many matters.
and Sea(blush green in the sunlight)
what little(children playing in innocence,
unaware, of the fierce beasts they could
become) I have done.
I litter(kittens abandoned on late summer day,
they will survive.) the green earth,(fiercely struggles
against our greed)with my disease.
you know, just as well as I.
What news have you
from the other side.
I've none,
though I have wished some others well
upon their way,
and mourned.(icicles glitter upon
the sacred way.)
and then,
I've written on many matters,
mostly alone
upon this endless sea.
I still search for a friendly sail.
Author notes
12/17/96
Written August 22nd, 2003
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Haunting...
Haunting and atmospheric - took me immediately - HATED the brackets. It is your work buddy and if that was your vision for the piece then stick to it. I would do the same. But if those brackets are experimental - they didn't work. For me at least. If you pull them, even as a 'suck it and see' exercise; PLEASE give me the opportunity for another read - Mike
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Cool. There seem to be two different poems going on here... the words in the parenthesis(sp?) could make their own little poem. Without those, though, this takes on a whole other meaning. I liked the litter part....
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I loved the simplicity and yet the dynamic depth of this piece. It was such an enjoyable piece to read. I did like the style in which it was written. Very good job. Thank you for sharing.
Soulful Woman
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This is fabulous! I really like the flow and the imagery. Although this style is one that I have not used before, it works well here. Your words paint a lonely and yet serene picture. Well done!
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I resonate with your 'solitude'...reference my poem 'origin of style' for example
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very lovely
simply lovely so much depth to what you have penned great job -
Gee giving me lots of opportunity to quote.
"I am homesick after mine own kind,
Oh I know that there are folk about me, friendly faces,
but I am homesick after mine own kind."
I memorized that. Some people think it is wrong to say such a thing. I don't know. I understand it - somehow speaks to me.
From my beach, I can watch, pressed up against the flat sky and horizon, the little sailboats from Hyannis Harbor. Sometimes there is a regatta, sometimes they are sailing lessons for little kids, sometimes it is must one boat. The white triangles against the blue sky are always beautiful - never not. Why is that? I like the sound of water sloshing up against a boat.
No the kittens won't survive, abandoned -- the abandoner hopes they will. But mostly they don't. Or the become feral(beasts) Just like the baby birds don't(usually)survive when they fall out.
What is the measurement of a person's "what they've done?" And who decides? More on this later.
Interesting to read it as two different poems --
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This poem, I found depth in it. I found it captivating how in the begining each word or two had a pun in the meaning in parentisis. I find respect in the speakers love for the sea. I enjoyed this greatly.
-Skyelle -
Hauntingly simple and then its undertones complex
I was caught up in the imagery of the words as
I read each line.
Like skating on a pool with frail ice
Reading and anticipating falling in
And yet wanting to feel everything no matter where it was taking me.
An exquisitely wonderful exercise in imagery and TALENT
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Simplistic , Deep and Excellent
Very nicely written, I love the sea. Little kittens, I've had my share of aloness. I have heard from the other side. The lord says Trust In Me, He is the sail that hails over the sea. The one He awaits you to see. I hope you are well!
Peace and Love, you are very talented a picture I could see, feelings I could feel Hurray for you! -
I don't really know what to say about this piece.I got lost in all the parenthensis.
I do believe it has potential to be really beautiful but it is not "my type of poem". Simple things for a simple mind I suppose(not your mind but mine).LOL.Thanks for sharing and good luck!!!!!!!
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Heh I struggled with this conceptually, I don't think I quite got it. perhaps just me being slow? What I understood this to be was a quietly longing poem... an imploration as it were for company... or perhaps even the patient wait for it. What threw me off was "I litter...the green earth...with my disease" which seems to go off into a more environmental slant... a critique of society when combined with kittens abandoned.
I don't know.
What I do know is that despite not quite getting it, I could appreciate how well this was written. I like that cool and distant style you have.
~Faded -
This is bloody Excellent....the kind of stuff classic poetry is made of. I have to tell you I can visualize this in a poetry anthology of famous contemporary poets! Its wonderful!
Sarah -
Brilliant
EGG SINGING OF FREEDOM
leaving pirated waters
i stumbled unto desolated shores
slaughtered by lions
fleeing up a tree
the slitted tongue
awaited me
crossing a dreamless stream
a crocodile
silenced my scream
crawling the desert
valtures blinded me
ripping at my heart
stumbling throught the swamps
mosquito's infected me
with deadly disease
hiding
within the nest
of the soul
i discovered the egg
of Love
singing
about releasing
the dove
of Freedom
myra
24.08.2003
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Liked this unique style, we should always have to get wondering and saying "WOW" with a BOW for every new poem which written well, no matter how many years we were reading/writing poetry, a great poem which has so many amazing imagery, it seem like it's talking about finding a true friend, or an idol, I don't know I just had sink on the waves of the lines
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What an original and refreshing bit of writing. I have to agree with Odyssey, this was brilliantly strung together and captivated the imagination, gave the reader something to think about and collected itself into a beautiful whole.
There are days when the sea does feel endless...
Beautifully expressed. ~Tilly -
"I have written on many matters.
and Sea"
"what little...I have done"
"I litter...the green earth...with my disease"
The way you delivered this message in the first two stanza's is absolutely brilliant...so well planted,
Each piece from you is different, and you are always looking for new ways to challange your reader. This makes me
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Very good
Searching for a friend within the world of poetry. Although I got the impression the friend you seek is within the writer.
Best lines:
What news have you from the other side.
I've none, though I have wished some others well
upon their way, and mourned.
Well done.
John -
Soothing!
It shall come, and it has passed by before your seach began, and it will come again... Beautiful! I got chills from the smells, and sounds, and the misty water I felt from the waves. You are fun to read! Thanks for the images, and your kind comments.
Much Love,
Renee------------------------------------------------>Poewtryality
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That they are found in the most inhospitable of places is not lost on this poet, each word is a war sometimes.
Jules. -
This is quite simply beautiful. It has an ominous delicacy and a measured freshness, full of regret and confusion. Yes, yes yes. This is undoubtedly a WINNER.
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as do I...
brilliant poem
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