Cast the rhine's and Cobb's and bones aside.
The deluge from the ceremony,
will see the cold hard day.
I woke up by the road side,
daydreaming of you.
Of when we would find buttons and bows by the lunch tables,
outside the old gray sewing mill.
And sneer at the workers who leered at your sun dress,
as we made our way back to your doll house.
The children's balloons would fill the sky.
I looked in your eyes,
as you looked up.
Up past the colored orbs,
beyond the clouds and sun,
looking for yesterday.
The deluge from the ceremony,
will see the cold hard day.
I woke up by the road side,
daydreaming of you.
Of when we would find buttons and bows by the lunch tables,
outside the old gray sewing mill.
And sneer at the workers who leered at your sun dress,
as we made our way back to your doll house.
The children's balloons would fill the sky.
I looked in your eyes,
as you looked up.
Up past the colored orbs,
beyond the clouds and sun,
looking for yesterday.
A contest entry
- The Oldies.....CONTEST!!! (50's *60's *70's by SilverButterfly.
550 points, ended February 14, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Journey......... by child of grace.
600 points, ended February 20, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Heartbreaks, Loneliness, and the Dearly Departed. by Star-of-David.
450 points, ended February 17, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me Everything you've Got by CrystalJet.
600 points, ended March 14, 358 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - drag me by my swollen lungs; by PaiigeBARBIE.
600 points, ended June 11, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Happiness...(Options Contest) by RunningWithScissors.
700 points, ended May 14, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - If I gave you a box of crayons, would you color me happy? by Breezie.
450 points, ended May 14, 27 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Why so far away? by MalevolentDesire.
400 points, ended May 15, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - When All Else Fails. by Poetryintheblood.
425 points, ended May 21, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter All Your Personal Writes Here (Part IV) by Midnight-x-Rose.
900 points, ended May 24, 239 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Unrequited by Chelsea Void.
525 points, ended May 31, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - * SUMMERTIME* by wingsofgold25.
500 points, ended June 15, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Song by Shya.
690 points, ended June 20, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Something inspiring (Now accepting prewrites) by SummerHasGone.
441 points, ended June 14, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Adding to my family and meeting new poets!!! by azlyn.
479 points, ended June 22, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - star crossed lovers by Cerbie20.
1325 points, ended August 31, 99 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - In The Mood by whos my humblepie.
630 points, ended July 10, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - curbside ............ ( I will add points if enough entries ) by james119.
500 points, ended July 10, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Childhood Memories, Good or Bad by paw-writer.
550 points, ended July 11, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Peaceful piece of life. by l33t-n1nj4.
580 points, ended July 14, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - New Love Found Insecurity Abounds by Sweetlilskye.
300 points, ended July 14, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Confusion by loveaswellashate.
500 points, ended August 5, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Picture contest by MoonsShadow.
440 points, ended July 20, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rites of Passage by judyjudyjudy.
400 points, ended July 26, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - THAT BEAUTY IS ENOUGH by Swan song.
450 points, ended July 19, 12 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love prompt by Shifting.
375 points, ended July 24, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - anything & prewites by whos my humblepie.
600 points, ended July 20, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre - Writes by MorganTea.
525 points, ended July 20, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LOVE AND LUST by MissMarie.
300 points, ended July 20, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - wake me up and let me know you're alive by Weetzie bat.
850 points, ended July 25, 44 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dove Song by Shya.
600 points, ends September 12, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - PREWRITTEN POEMS!!!!! by kavi22.
450 points, ended August 5, 183 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Set your muse and mine- lot of options by poetic-enigma21.
450 points, ended August 6, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Jessi-Desensytized a.k.a. BabyChronic0304 *OPTIONS* by Jessi-desensytized.
450 points, ended August 13, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 77 of 77
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nice write , though you forgot to mention the option no.
thanks for the entry
best of luck
cheers
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Months later, I read this again and I still think it's beyond worthy of a place in the New Yorker. Fantastic work. I loved reading this again.
Jess -
There's some striking imagery here but I don't see any reference to a ceremony marking a rite of passage. Maybe I'm missing something.
Thanks for entering. -
Of when we would find buttons and bows by the lunch tables,
outside the old gray sewing mill.
And sneer at the workers who leered at your sun dress,
as we made our way back to your doll house.
simply lovely. sweet, but slightly sad. thank you for entering -
Intereseting poem you have here, but i don't think it really fits what I'm looking for - "showing how you love or lust someone". Sorry, but it's a good poem.
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Very nice
I can't explain this poem, all I can say is that it was truly amazing -
This one! This is romance as most people cannot do it. I m impressed. The seemingly beautiful madness of the dollhouse. That's something I understand, and it's the same feeling I try to carry in my "hell", but much more optimistically.
Good job in the Beauty is Enough contest. -
Oh boy! I absolutely love this one. It has such a romantic but sad flavour. There is nothing more depressing than unrequited love.
Alll the lines are great, but I think the best ones are the last stanza.
thanks for entering. -
Very good ! an you entered this in a lot of contest
and I have to admit it is a very fine poem

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nostalgic
i like the walk down memoery lane, gives a bright outlook to our ways of improving as life progresses on
thank you for this entry, good luck
Lin

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it was sweet and innocent and I like it what more can I say. I could see it and I felt the emotions
good job
good luck -
This write has such a sad feel to it, and it is so full of a great deal of beautiful imagery. This was an enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing it, and for entering my contest. Blessings, Patty
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so many people do hang onto the past, and we shouldnt, but when love is involved, we just cant help it.... there is a lot of good morals here, and i love the imagery in here, it was amazing, and i loved it. very good job! keep up the good work.
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Subtle yet strong
I like how the poem revolves around this central metaphor of daydreaming and you FEEL like you're sitting there, with this significant other, but you're not. It's still a daydream. Well done!
I'd have to say the beginning and end are my two favorite stanza's, but the imagery is fantastic throughout.
"Up past the colored orbs,
beyond the clouds and sun,
looking for yesterday."
We've all had looks like that at one point or another....Or if ALL OF US havn't, then you and I have, and I understand what you're talking about...
One reaason I love your poetry so much, is surprisingly I can relate to a lot of it. I see what you're saying, even when you're not saying it. I LOVE IT!
Blessings Brother,
Brandon

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Wonderful write...thank you!
Az -
i like your choice of words in this. also the imagery and the idea of someone looking back to the past. good write and good luck!
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A great poem! I loved the last stanza. It portrays nostalgia without being cliche. Thanks for entering!
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A very intresting poem Sad in places But a very well written poem.
Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest -
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Thanks you my brother,
I will look at your work.
Taking time to read my poems means a great deal to me.
Poetry just tips it's hat for us to open doors in our own minds.
Bless you my friend,
LOWELL POE
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I'm impressed with this. The imagery is fantastic, I can see a scene playing before me and you avoided the too-often used phrases of I miss you I miss those days I miss I miss wah.
This piece presents a longing without actually spelling out the word for everyone. It takes a moment to ponder. It's specific enough to create an image of details, but open ended at the same time, to allow everyone their own interpretation.
fantastic. -
Life in all its aspects...
I don't know why my applause failed to work here, but I did try to give your poem three claps...
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Beautiful, yet sad...
I think this is a good ol' piece of Americanna; the experience of a lazy and magical, old-fashioned picnic; the sight of kids eating roasted weiners and cold southern-fried chicken, drinking ice-cold lemonade, I could feel the summer sun's rays on my bare arms, and the refreshing nature of good friends and family sharing a bond of emotional closeness, and hearing the laughter of frolicking children, and seeing the intense buzz of flies surrounding a sticky chocolate smores bar, while roving butterflies chased themselves among the strawberries... This is an outstanding reminder of what it means to be human, especially when surveying the lost dreams of yesteryears gone by... Great job!!! Peace, Cyn
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Ahhh those good old memories, that seem to be a hundred and fifty years away...
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I enjoy this one too! Woke up on the side of the road, daydreaming of you. Love the protectiveness snuck in of your sister. And I love the romantic undertone, woven throughout. Tied up magnificiently with a lovely ending...
"The children's balloons would fill the sky.
I looked in your eyes,
as you looked up.
Up past the colored orbs,
beyond the clouds and sun,
looking for yesterday."


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Thank you for your lovely entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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This was soo pretty! It was bittersweet. But I liked it. Nice imagery. Very deep theme. Great job and best of luck in the contest!


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this was very pretty.
i loved the imagery in it.
the way you write is beautiful.
thank you and good luck!!

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How very sweet and sad. There is nothing that produces more exquisite poems than a longing for the childhood and past, and the personal introspection of the poet, and there is no poem in the genre as exquisite as yours. The parallelism here is flawless, and yet still somewhat veiled, making the mind work. I also love the female character in this piece, it gives it a delectable softness and femininity that fits in gloriously with the childhood element. I love the pictures you paint, speaking of the mill and dollhouse, and especially the lines "Up past the colored orbs,
beyond the clouds and sun,
looking for yesterday." Sweet nonstalgia. I spoke too soon, because every time I find a favourite in your poetry, you outdo yourself again and change my mind. Beautiful work!!!

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lovely closing line and interesting poem

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You are a gentleman and a scholar.
Thank you.
I will be sure to read more of you.
I like what I read earlier a great deal.
MANY MANY BLESSINGS,
LOWELL POE
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i love the style of this piece, tho i cant really describe why; maybe because its so original. anyway, the word choice and everything was just brilliant! fantastic write!
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Vivid very vivid. you are very talented. wow. this is a very nicely written poem. the level of your writing can be seen in this. I've enjoyed reading this. Keep up the amazing job. i wish i could give you a critique, but I can't come up with anything.
Dani -
Wow! Lowell! I didn't realise it was anything quite so strong as this. It's so vivid, and it has such a strong message, on a social level as well as a personal level. Words really don't do it justice, but this is nothing short of perfect and more than worthy of the place in the New Yorker.
Excellent, friend!
Jess x

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Very interesting write. Very original. I like it... It's very different....
....Brilliant
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Wow, I love this. The imagery is amazing and just so vivid..it drew me in and kept me interested until the very end. The last few lines are breath taking & beautiful..keep up the great work!
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amazing!!!
You are an amazingly talented writer. This is beautiful. It's whimsical and light-hearted but still carries a profound undertone that leaves the reader feeling reminiscent, nostalgic, happy and just a touch sad...it touches all the emotions in just a few lines. This is well written and beautifully displayed. I love it.
"Up past the colored orbs,
beyond the clouds and sun,
looking for yesterday. "...beautiful...

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Sorry commented on this before a week or so ago. Need to keep better track of the featured poems. Remembered the line about the balloons - stayed in my mind.


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"I woke up by the road side, daydreaming of you"
&&
"The children's balloons would fill the sky.
I looked in your eyes,
as you looked up"
my faves
beautiful, just beautiful -
a very lovely write! I really like your title. it said alot even before I read the poem.
I was so impressed with this part...
And sneer at the workers who leered at your sun dress,
as we made our way back to your doll houseOh I remember sundresses!
SilverButterfly
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Wow this is entered in many contests. I relly like the reminancing of the poem. Yesterday is something we can't get back though we miss it grealy.
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So beautiful. Full of remembrance of times past. Bravo!!!


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Oh, how often have we seen that distant far off look in someones eyes. This was some daydream, and he seems to have had a relationship he can't forget. It was an enjoyable read for me, very nostalgic piece.
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The way things used to be are never the same when we go back to visit the places we were at when we were young. Looking at things through children's eyes is so much different than through the eyes of adults. Change happens, and only memories are left of the way things used to be.
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'looking for yesterday'
it just sounds so very poetic doesn't it?
loved that!
Cheers,
S -
This is an amazing poem... I like how you have used the idea of looking for yesterday in such a non-cliched way... this is beautifully soft and you have treated it with care... wonderful poem
Keep writing
Polly -
and yet you did it again...I love leaving comments for people and its always a plus when its for someone who actually writes from the heart. for me art=emotion if i cant feel it then it cant be considered art but you have a gift so i will wish you to use it for good and not for evil unless of course your evilness is revenge in that case write on~!
more clappy hands
chrissy
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I like this alot and when I say I like it or I like it alot it basically means Awsome write. I have a lot of writes using yesterday in them, some of my better ones actually. So when I saw your title I had to rush and read, and I do think there is just something very good about yesterdays.
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I really love this. I have to be honest with most poems I lose interest easily and fall victim to more of a skim than a whole-hearted read, however this kept my interest. Your imagery is beautiful, I had great empathy while reading it. I felt connected, engaged. Keep writing. This is a beautiful peace.


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Pretty trinkets and niceties...your shameless promotion could have used some of the same. I really thought it was going to cuss the whole way through and be rediculous, but then it was beautiful. I am left in a state of confusion...
Nice... -
Goosebumps!
That gave me goosebumps, so hauntingly sweet and clever, yet again you paint an entire world with such few words-a history and present all in one. So very sad-
Up past the colored orbs,
beyond the clouds and sun,
looking for yesterday.
That was the goosebump moment..you led me to your memory then back to here and now magnificantly.(sp?)

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this is a lovely write. Keep up the good work. The last few lines were my favorite.
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This poem makes me long for yesterday, of times when I felt freer, of running barefoot in the grass. The imagery spoke volumes. A master of words
. Rewarded 4
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A lovely poem, such beautiful imagery, reminds me of the song yesterday by the beatles.
The children's balloons would fill the sky.
I looked in your eyes,
as you looked up.
beautiful! such wonderful ideas, i'm so glad i found this piece
x-o-x

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Takes me back to being a kid, and childhood friendships...what a wonderful remembrance! Thanks!

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Beautifully Serene...
I love this poem, it's so peaceful, with a quite intelligence at the same time. Takes me back to simpler times. I'm wondering what your author notes refer to though... if you'll kindly enlighten me. Thanks. Peace and Love, Cyn

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This is a beautiful write, and it kind of made me giggle at some parts and frown at others, but that's just the way life is. It also made me long for the days when we did play games and collect pretty onjects just because we could... Thanks for sharing.
-Danneh -
Beautiful
Simple, to the point but still with flourish... -
Beautiful. Like the poem alot. Seems like a dream. Love the author notes too! Great job and write.


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Oh this is really beautiful. It captures such great emotion. It actually made me feel really sad. It makes me feel the sense of loving, but not quite being returned. It also reminds me of like the balloons floating away, my own childhood going with it.
This is a truely beautiful piece. I am so glad I read it. Thanks for sharing it. Keep up the great work!

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Wow this is really good! I like it alot! The imagery you used here:
The children's balloons would fill the sky.
I looked in your eyes,
as you looked up
Is great! -
There's no words to describe how beautiful && amazing I think this is.


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THANK YOU.
Your superior writing makes this a true and valued complement to my work.
BLESSINGS,
LOWELL POE
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I don't have much to say, but that was pretty good. Well done, poet.
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so amazing
wonderful imagery
thought provoking
but wow
what more can you say
-suicidal revenge-

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nice very good feel and read touched deep kinda had a romantic feel and it was real not forced nice word choice
The children's balloons would fill the sky.
I looked in your eyes,
as you looked up.
Up past the colored orbs,
beyond the clouds and sun,
looking for yesterday.
my fvorite i loved how you ended that had a good feel

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I do love when it is just there and you bring here
You say so much and touch so deep

And sneer at the workers who leered at your sun-dress, as we made our way back to your doll house...Looking for yesterday!...Thank you so much for sharing you with me


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this is great stuff.. very thought provoking and deep within a certain context very well written i love it xxx


























































