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Looking For Yesterday

Cast the rhine's and Cobb's and bones aside.
The deluge from the ceremony,
will see the cold hard day.

I woke up by the road side,
daydreaming of you.

Of when we would find buttons and bows by the lunch tables,
outside the old gray sewing mill.

And sneer at the workers who leered at your sun dress,
as we made our way back to your doll house.

The children's balloons would fill the sky.
I looked in your eyes,
as you looked up.

Up past the colored orbs,
beyond the clouds and sun,
looking for yesterday. 

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 77 of 77
  • nice write , though you forgot to mention the option no.
    thanks for the entry
    best of luck
    cheers
  • Months later, I read this again and I still think it's beyond worthy of a place in the New Yorker. Fantastic work. I loved reading this again.

    Jess
  • judyjudyjudy
    July 26

    Edit | Reply
    There's some striking imagery here but I don't see any reference to a ceremony marking a rite of passage. Maybe I'm missing something.

    Thanks for entering.

  • Weetzie bat
    July 25

    Edit | Reply
    Of when we would find buttons and bows by the lunch tables,
    outside the old gray sewing mill.

    And sneer at the workers who leered at your sun dress,
    as we made our way back to your doll house.


    simply lovely. sweet, but slightly sad. thank you for entering

  • MissMarie
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    Intereseting poem you have here, but i don't think it really fits what I'm looking for - "showing how you love or lust someone". Sorry, but it's a good poem.
  • MorganTea
    July 20
    Edit | Reply

    Very nice

    I can't explain this poem, all I can say is that it was truly amazing
  • This one! This is romance as most people cannot do it. I m impressed. The seemingly beautiful madness of the dollhouse. That's something I understand, and it's the same feeling I try to carry in my "hell", but much more optimistically.
    Good job in the Beauty is Enough contest.

  • Shifting
    July 19

    Edit | Reply
    Oh boy! I absolutely love this one. It has such a romantic but sad flavour. There is nothing more depressing than unrequited love.
    Alll the lines are great, but I think the best ones are the last stanza.
    thanks for entering.

  • Swan song gold member
    July 19
    Edit | Reply
    Very good ! an you entered this in a lot of contest
    and I have to admit it is a very fine poem


  • MoonsShadow gold member
    July 18

    Edit | Reply

    nostalgic

    i like the walk down memoery lane, gives a bright outlook to our ways of improving as life progresses on
    thank you for this entry, good luck
    Lin


  • l33t-n1nj4
    July 11

    Edit | Reply
    it was sweet and innocent and I like it what more can I say. I could see it and I felt the emotions
    good job
    good luck

  • paw-writer silver member
    July 9

    Edit | Reply
    This write has such a sad feel to it, and it is so full of a great deal of beautiful imagery. This was an enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing it, and for entering my contest. Blessings, Patty

  • Cerbie20
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    so many people do hang onto the past, and we shouldnt, but when love is involved, we just cant help it.... there is a lot of good morals here, and i love the imagery in here, it was amazing, and i loved it. very good job! keep up the good work.


  • AlwaysbeBIG
    June 27

    Edit | Reply

    Subtle yet strong

    I like how the poem revolves around this central metaphor of daydreaming and you FEEL like you're sitting there, with this significant other, but you're not. It's still a daydream. Well done!

    I'd have to say the beginning and end are my two favorite stanza's, but the imagery is fantastic throughout.


    "Up past the colored orbs,
    beyond the clouds and sun,
    looking for yesterday."
    We've all had looks like that at one point or another....Or if ALL OF US havn't, then you and I have, and I understand what you're talking about...

    One reaason I love your poetry so much, is surprisingly I can relate to a lot of it. I see what you're saying, even when you're not saying it. I LOVE IT!


    Blessings Brother,
    Brandon


  • azlyn gold member
    June 22
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful write...thank you!

    Az
  • i like your choice of words in this. also the imagery and the idea of someone looking back to the past. good write and good luck!

  • Shya
    June 14

    Edit | Reply
    A great poem! I loved the last stanza. It portrays nostalgia without being cliche. Thanks for entering!
  • A very intresting poem Sad in places But a very well written poem.
    Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest

    • Lowell Poe
      July 15
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks you my brother,
      I will look at your work.
      Taking time to read my poems means a great deal to me.
      Poetry just tips it's hat for us to open doors in our own minds.

      Bless you my friend,
      LOWELL POE
  • I'm impressed with this. The imagery is fantastic, I can see a scene playing before me and you avoided the too-often used phrases of I miss you I miss those days I miss I miss wah.

    This piece presents a longing without actually spelling out the word for everyone. It takes a moment to ponder. It's specific enough to create an image of details, but open ended at the same time, to allow everyone their own interpretation.

    fantastic.
  • Life in all its aspects...

    I don't know why my applause failed to work here, but I did try to give your poem three claps...
  • Beautiful, yet sad...

    I think this is a good ol' piece of Americanna; the experience of a lazy and magical, old-fashioned picnic; the sight of kids eating roasted weiners and cold southern-fried chicken, drinking ice-cold lemonade, I could feel the summer sun's rays on my bare arms, and the refreshing nature of good friends and family sharing a bond of emotional closeness, and hearing the laughter of frolicking children, and seeing the intense buzz of flies surrounding a sticky chocolate smores bar, while roving butterflies chased themselves among the strawberries... This is an outstanding reminder of what it means to be human, especially when surveying the lost dreams of yesteryears gone by... Great job!!! Peace, Cyn
  • Ahhh those good old memories, that seem to be a hundred and fifty years away...

  • Lotus-Mama silver member
    May 17

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoy this one too! Woke up on the side of the road, daydreaming of you. Love the protectiveness snuck in of your sister. And I love the romantic undertone, woven throughout. Tied up magnificiently with a lovely ending...

    "The children's balloons would fill the sky.
    I looked in your eyes,
    as you looked up.

    Up past the colored orbs,
    beyond the clouds and sun,
    looking for yesterday."

  • Thank you for your lovely entry, good luck in my contest, Josie

  • Breezie
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    This was soo pretty! It was bittersweet. But I liked it. Nice imagery. Very deep theme. Great job and best of luck in the contest!

  • this was very pretty.
    i loved the imagery in it.
    the way you write is beautiful.
    thank you and good luck!!


  • TheDemonEve
    April 16

    Edit | Reply
    How very sweet and sad. There is nothing that produces more exquisite poems than a longing for the childhood and past, and the personal introspection of the poet, and there is no poem in the genre as exquisite as yours. The parallelism here is flawless, and yet still somewhat veiled, making the mind work. I also love the female character in this piece, it gives it a delectable softness and femininity that fits in gloriously with the childhood element. I love the pictures you paint, speaking of the mill and dollhouse, and especially the lines "Up past the colored orbs,
    beyond the clouds and sun,
    looking for yesterday." Sweet nonstalgia. I spoke too soon, because every time I find a favourite in your poetry, you outdo yourself again and change my mind. Beautiful work!!!


  • cricketjeff gold member
    April 14
    Edit | Reply
    lovely closing line and interesting poem


    • Lowell Poe
      April 14
      Edit | Reply
      You are a gentleman and a scholar.
      Thank you.
      I will be sure to read more of you.
      I like what I read earlier a great deal.

      MANY MANY BLESSINGS,
      LOWELL POE


  • Mirrors shard
    April 10

    Edit | Reply
    i love the style of this piece, tho i cant really describe why; maybe because its so original. anyway, the word choice and everything was just brilliant! fantastic write!
  • Vivid very vivid. you are very talented. wow. this is a very nicely written poem. the level of your writing can be seen in this. I've enjoyed reading this. Keep up the amazing job. i wish i could give you a critique, but I can't come up with anything.

    Dani
  • Wow! Lowell! I didn't realise it was anything quite so strong as this. It's so vivid, and it has such a strong message, on a social level as well as a personal level. Words really don't do it justice, but this is nothing short of perfect and more than worthy of the place in the New Yorker.

    Excellent, friend!

    Jess x


  • Perception silver member
    March 19

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting write. Very original. I like it... It's very different....

    ....Brilliant

  • Upstairs
    March 5

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I love this. The imagery is amazing and just so vivid..it drew me in and kept me interested until the very end. The last few lines are breath taking & beautiful..keep up the great work!

  • cerridwen
    February 22

    Edit | Reply

    amazing!!!

    You are an amazingly talented writer. This is beautiful. It's whimsical and light-hearted but still carries a profound undertone that leaves the reader feeling reminiscent, nostalgic, happy and just a touch sad...it touches all the emotions in just a few lines. This is well written and beautifully displayed. I love it.
    "Up past the colored orbs,
    beyond the clouds and sun,
    looking for yesterday. "...beautiful...


  • grannyeri gold member
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    Sorry commented on this before a week or so ago. Need to keep better track of the featured poems. Remembered the line about the balloons - stayed in my mind.


  • Manorexic
    February 15

    Edit | Reply
    "I woke up by the road side, daydreaming of you"

    &&

    "The children's balloons would fill the sky.
    I looked in your eyes,
    as you looked up"

    my faves

    beautiful, just beautiful

  • SilverButterfly gold member
    February 14

    Edit | Reply

    a very lovely write! I really like your title. it said alot even before I read the poem.

    I was so impressed with this part...

    And sneer at the workers who leered at your sun dress,
    as we made our way back to your doll house

     

    Oh I remember sundresses!

     

    SilverButterfly

     


  • Lady Altheia
    February 12

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is entered in many contests. I relly like the reminancing of the poem. Yesterday is something we can't get back though we miss it grealy.

  • whits end silver member
    February 12
    Edit | Reply
    So beautiful. Full of remembrance of times past. Bravo!!!


  • Capt Jed
    February 11

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, how often have we seen that distant far off look in someones eyes. This was some daydream, and he seems to have had a relationship he can't forget. It was an enjoyable read for me, very nostalgic piece.


  • grannyeri gold member
    February 11
    Edit | Reply
    The way things used to be are never the same when we go back to visit the places we were at when we were young. Looking at things through children's eyes is so much different than through the eyes of adults. Change happens, and only memories are left of the way things used to be.

  • child of grace
    February 11

    Edit | Reply

    'looking for yesterday'
    it just sounds so very poetic doesn't it?
    loved that!
    Cheers,
    S

  • Polaja
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    This is an amazing poem... I like how you have used the idea of looking for yesterday in such a non-cliched way... this is beautifully soft and you have treated it with care... wonderful poem

    Keep writing

    Polly

  • I Am Gun
    November 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    and yet you did it again...I love leaving comments for people and its always a plus when its for someone who actually writes from the heart. for me art=emotion if i cant feel it then it cant be considered art but you have a gift so i will wish you to use it for good and not for evil unless of course your evilness is revenge in that case write on~!

    more clappy hands
    chrissy


  • creationsfromheart silver member
    November 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like this alot and when I say I like it or I like it alot it basically means Awsome write. I have a lot of writes using yesterday in them, some of my better ones actually. So when I saw your title I had to rush and read, and I do think there is just something very good about yesterdays.

  • love turned violent
    November 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really love this. I have to be honest with most poems I lose interest easily and fall victim to more of a skim than a whole-hearted read, however this kept my interest. Your imagery is beautiful, I had great empathy while reading it. I felt connected, engaged. Keep writing. This is a beautiful peace.


  • littleoneof-God
    October 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Pretty trinkets and niceties...your shameless promotion could have used some of the same. I really thought it was going to cuss the whole way through and be rediculous, but then it was beautiful. I am left in a state of confusion...

    Nice...

  • daisybee
    September 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Goosebumps!

    That gave me goosebumps, so hauntingly sweet and clever, yet again you paint an entire world with such few words-a history and present all in one. So very sad-
    Up past the colored orbs,
    beyond the clouds and sun,
    looking for yesterday.
    That was the goosebump moment..you led me to your memory then back to here and now magnificantly.(sp?)


  • I will stand by you
    September 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is a lovely write. Keep up the good work. The last few lines were my favorite.

  • Angelwatchingme
    August 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This poem makes me long for yesterday, of times when I felt freer, of running barefoot in the grass. The imagery spoke volumes. A master of words

    . Rewarded 4


  • lucy sky-diamond
    August 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A lovely poem, such beautiful imagery, reminds me of the song yesterday by the beatles.

    The children's balloons would fill the sky.
    I looked in your eyes,
    as you looked up.

    beautiful! such wonderful ideas, i'm so glad i found this piece


    x-o-x


  • faithwhisperer silver member
    August 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Takes me back to being a kid, and childhood friendships...what a wonderful remembrance! Thanks!


  • Rose of Ireland gold member
    August 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Beautifully Serene...

    I love this poem, it's so peaceful, with a quite intelligence at the same time. Takes me back to simpler times. I'm wondering what your author notes refer to though... if you'll kindly enlighten me. Thanks. Peace and Love, Cyn


  • Danneh
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful write, and it kind of made me giggle at some parts and frown at others, but that's just the way life is. It also made me long for the days when we did play games and collect pretty onjects just because we could... Thanks for sharing.

    -Danneh

  • Your Darkness
    August 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    Simple, to the point but still with flourish...
  • hazydreams
    August 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful. Like the poem alot. Seems like a dream. Love the author notes too! Great job and write.


  • HeliumJones
    August 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is really beautiful. It captures such great emotion. It actually made me feel really sad. It makes me feel the sense of loving, but not quite being returned. It also reminds me of like the balloons floating away, my own childhood going with it.

    This is a truely beautiful piece. I am so glad I read it. Thanks for sharing it. Keep up the great work!


  • x Star Dust x
    August 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is really good! I like it alot! The imagery you used here:
    The children's balloons would fill the sky.
    I looked in your eyes,
    as you looked up
    Is great!

  • Manorexic
    July 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    There's no words to describe how beautiful && amazing I think this is.


    • Lowell Poe
      July 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      THANK YOU.
      Your superior writing makes this a true and valued complement to my work.

      BLESSINGS,
      LOWELL POE

  • Matthew OMeara
    July 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I don't have much to say, but that was pretty good. Well done, poet.


  • suicidal-revenge
    July 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    so amazing
    wonderful imagery
    thought provoking
    but wow
    what more can you say

    -suicidal revenge-


  • giving up on poetry
    July 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    nice very good feel and read touched deep kinda had a romantic feel and it was real not forced nice word choice

    The children's balloons would fill the sky.
    I looked in your eyes,
    as you looked up.

    Up past the colored orbs,
    beyond the clouds and sun,
    looking for yesterday.

    my fvorite i loved how you ended that had a good feel


  • Tender wolf gold member
    July 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I do love when it is just there and you bring hereYou say so much and touch so deep And sneer at the workers who leered at your sun-dress, as we made our way back to your doll house...Looking for yesterday!...Thank you so much for sharing you with me


  • Laura
    July 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is great stuff.. very thought provoking and deep within a certain context very well written i love it xxx

  • Yvette Champ
    July 13, 2007