Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
 

Watermark Dreams

Missing image
I have been here before
outlined in watermark stain
in the mildewed cardboard folds
of shoreline aspired in the distance.

Our anchor moored in quiescent time
fog inspirited misty gray memories
aphonic stranger inspirer to song
this place cries your lonely silence.

It was your desperation's plea
your weeping water-stained images
lonely tears of stagnant longing
mapping visions of stillness, lost.

Looking into your eyes of dreams
to the silent singing of still waters
caressing the smoothness of your cheek,
I know the love your heart longs to sing.

Secular limitations environs our hearts
life's imprisoning tenure of uncertainty
let not death keep our love from living
for you're the love incessant in my life.

Look around you at this motionless drear
for it is within this solemn water's edge
that our hearts will know true beauty
and our love will breathe life into obtuse.

Our kiss awakens premonition's tacit promise
bodies unsheathed stir a caressing breeze
breath taking whispers inspiring spiritual song
and sliding into the depths of our love
I hear a fish jump.

Our bodies entwined in sultry slumbering as
water's rippling rings reach distant shores.
The sun turns overcast gray into living colors
and in my heart I hear joyous tittle.

Your smile warms my soul like no other
you softly, like an angel, begin to sing.
I see two robins, together, flying freely into the sun.
I have this overwhelming need to hold you.

As a mortal, I embrace you in my arms
in my heart I wrap your heart with love.
And should our souls find eternity,
there is no one I'd rather spend forever with
than you.

Author notes

roaddog wolf- Dave

About ten or twelve years ago I did alot of drawing and I would open old record albums and use the smooth white cardboard inside to draw on. I opened one up one time and it had gotten wet along the seem and when unfolded the cardboard was mildewed along the fold and it looked like a lake and shoreline. After penciling in the details it came out very nicely as a lake shore. When I wrote this poem the prompt was the photo with the poem, "Boat of Odem". The shoreline behind the boat in the photo looked very much like the one I drew a decade earlier.
1st stanza I had the strangest sense that the spirit of the shoreline in mention had been trapped on the lake.
the first stanza is the 'outline' of the shoreline in
the distance(of time and the lake).

The second stanza is the silent crying of the aphonic strangers(voiceless) aspirer to to his loneliness in his silence alone since the drawing to the point of finding the shoreline in poetry again.where as the stanza begins is the quie.scent time until the mooring of poetry in the photo

The third stanza realizes the stranger is lost love, recognized in weeping water stained images of a lady with me at the time of the drawing, but it is love not a face of her

stanza 4 silent singing of still waters looking into her eyes of dreams again it is love but I am giving my dream a persona by caressing her cheek along the solemn edge of the motionless drear(the shoreline of memories of loves dream which often in harmony i thought more so in physical reality)

5th the secular visions of uncertainty(loves obscurity)
but it is love incessant to life it escaping death in its dream state

6th it is the waters edge(shoreline of memories thay love will find the breath od loves life breathing life into obtuse

7th stanza a kiss awakens (tacit) unspoken promise bodies unsheathed ( the bare image of love and the premonitions of spiritual song(from the voiceless entity- love)"I hear a fish jump" reality the rippling waters awakening.

8th and 9th are the awakening of a dream, bodies entwined rippling rings reach distant shore the sun shines, joyous tittle birds fly the overwhelming need to hold that love in mortal embrace after she begins ro sing.

Last stanza is the mortal embrace of the lover of loves dream in reality to hold and wrap in the heart the value of love and with that love is two souls and in that spirit of love the souls should they find eternity
it is that love in that loving bond that is spiritual and cannot be faked rhat I long to spend eternity with.

WOW! I suppose there are further details but thats the concept of this poem


Quote "Grammy Awards for Winners participent"

* A love so real


GOLD

Prewrite
Theme: picture prompt Boat of Odem

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 99 of 136     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • killme-kissmerio
    August 22
    ?
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    This poem is so beautiful... it caused my breth to shorten .. i hope to apire to crate a scene so beautiful and captivating... i love this pome... so many parts of it were so loveable..

    "lonely tears of stagnant longing
    mapping visions of stillness, lost."

    god i love this poem... it is the ocean and for me the sirens of the odasey...



  • LadyDementia gold member
    August 20
    ?
    Edit | Reply

    Congrats on the trophys!

    The setting your words have painted is nothing short of stunning. Your detailed imagery is a delight to read. An outstanding piece of poetry


    • Roaddog Wolf gold member
      August 20
      ?
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you for your

      kind review, I am pleased that you enjoyed the read, kind of a special write for me , one of my personal favorites
      thank you

  • Kazytc gold member
    August 19
    ?
    Edit | Reply

    Phenomenal!

    To say that this poem is phenomenal is a gross understatement, it is far more than that and more on top!
    I love the poetic graphics and the lovely pure tender and loving sentiments too, this was written from the depth of your soul and heart, for sure.
    No wonder this poetic masterpiece has won so many trophies, and they should have all been gold and platinum if they were available too.
    I adore the bits that go:

    "Secular limitations environs our hearts
    life's imprisoning tenure of uncertainty
    let not death keep our love from living
    for you're the love incessant in my life"

    and these:

    Our bodies entwined in sultry slumbering as
    water's rippling rings reach distant shores.
    The sun turns overcast gray into living colors
    and in my heart I hear joyous tittle.

    Your smile warms my soul like no other
    you softly, like an angel, begin to sing.
    I see two robins, together, flying freely into the sun.
    I have this overwhelming need to hold you.

    As a mortal, I embrace you in my arms
    in my heart I wrap your heart with love.
    And should our souls find eternity,
    there is no one I'd rather spend forever with
    than you.


    Just breathakingly beautiful and manna to the soul and heart, wow what amazing words and expressions and a truly enchanting and heart warming read.

    You are Poet Laureate standard, hope these are in print, they sure should be.

    Fabulous poetic perfection and very well done, love it, write on you rock! Bravo!
    Poetic Hugs,
    Kaz.
    Kazytc xx


    • Roaddog Wolf gold member
      August 20
      ?
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you for your

      very kind and generous comments and extensive critique. I t is nice to have someone take time to comment in length let alone say such nice things. Truly is one of my favorite this one and "Nearly forty years Ago/ Viet- Nam" and a couple others heart felt that are older writes, originally grammatical disasters back then but written from within, Watermark Dreams was the first write I ever wrote that I felt really good about it, mechanically and feelings wise.

      Thanks for your wonderful review
      David
  • Topnotchsy
    August 10

    Edit | Reply
    Stunning piece. I have never seen a poem that netted so many trophies, but then again, I have not seen to many poems written like this one. Great write!!


  • Regretlove
    August 9
    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    This is crazy good! Wow! You are an excellent writer - I was blown away..totally..


  • checkmate
    August 8

    Edit | Reply
    wow. I am impressed. this is just simply...WOW. I loved your structure and thank you so much for the author's notes- it helped loads.

    I loved this so much.

    &&
    good lucks to you from all of us!! thank you for entering
    -checkmate♥
  • --Blue--
    August 5

    Edit | Reply
    I loved how organic this piece was. The serenity it gives off when read is wonderful. You clearly are a talented writer. You paint a lovely picture.

  • BorntothePurple
    August 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful and masterfully written. I love how you used alliteration throughout, and the images just leap out at you. I especially love the opening lines. I absolutely love:

    Our bodies entwined in sultry slumbering as
    water's rippling rings reach distant shores.
    The sun turns overcast gray into living colors
    and in my heart I hear joyous tittle.

    Very well done.

  • Poetic Obscenity
    July 29

    Edit | Reply

    Imagery

    Is grade a in this piece. You've got such flow and the concept it to die for. Obviously you know this is an amazing piece with 125 comments. lol.
    Thank you for your entry and good luck.

  • Fourthaxis
    July 29

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, thats a truck load of contests!!
    The title of the poem was so beautiful! I really loved the imagery used in the first stanza.
    "I have been here before
    outlined in watermark stain
    in the mildewed cardboard folds
    of shoreline aspired in the distance."
    I love it when a poem starts with a reminiscence, it has a very pensive pull to it. Amazingly endearing...
    Anansey

  • Knight Tigress
    July 11
    Edit | Reply
    Reading this poem guides my unconsciousness along deep into my own memories, of love lost and reconciled. It is so very beautiful!This poem by far is the only one that has truly touched my heart, this poem paints a moment of peace in a world of cruelty and chaos-it is something that deserves silence and something to always remember!

  • Knight Tigress
    July 11

    Edit | Reply
    This cast me into a dream world from the very beginning, with such vivid imagery of the the water and your love, I am at a loss for words-it is beautiful, beyond description. I am in awe and graciouse of your heart to share this beauty and talent. God bless! This is amazing, a masterpeice of modern day!


  • PurringKitten
    July 9

    Edit | Reply

    BREATH TAKING

    I find myself lost for words...there is a sence of magic and deep beauty flowing from your pen. A love so pure and innocent.A sensuous play on nature and love with just the touch of a tender passion
    Thank you so much for sharing your master piece with me


  • thepoetsings
    July 8

    Edit | Reply
    A few quick editorial comments:
    - line 10. "water-stained" should be hyphenated
    - line 22. "water's" need an apostrophe
    - line 25. "premonition's" also needs an apostrophe
    - line 31. ditto on "water's"

    Lines 37 and 40-42 were my favorites in the entire piece.

    When I was reading this, I got the impression that you were required to use some sort of word bank...don't see anything about it in the AN. I think that you underrate simplicity. Don't get me wrong - I enjoy vocabulary as much as (maybe more than) the next person, but I think that you tried to be a bit too artistic with the piece and in the end, that took away from it for me.

    That said, you have some beautiful writing and some beautiful images. This is a personal preference, so you can take it with a grain of salt, but try to let the poem speak more for itself.

    Thank you for entering and sharing with everyone

    • Roaddog Wolf gold member
      July 8
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      for your detailed critique and the time you put into conveying your thoughts and information. I just have a heck of a time with Punctuation, I have been putting allot of effort into comprehending it's proper use. Seems to come so easy for some people and I can rack my brain studying it and still find myself with that gray area of uncertainties.

      I appreciate your help Thanks again
      Best Regards,
      David

      • thepoetsings
        July 8
        Edit | Reply
        My mom's an English teacher...so I've had punctuation (and then some) pounded into me from a very young age.

  • Rovingone gold member
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is breathtakingly beautiful and the sentiment is so real. I can see why it won so many contests.

  • Midnight-x-Rose gold member
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    awww this is very beautiful...with sadness, love and some misplaced hope in all the right ways...great use of metaphors too.
  • Fitz1901
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    Reading this poem was like being in a really great dream, and since I almost never dream, those only come one a year. Your poem seems to emit peace.

    Its breathtaking...thanks for entering

  • nilav
    June 11
    Edit | Reply
    congrats on the trophies ...you deserve it ...the powerful expressions take us beyond ....


  • Spiritual Soul
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    wow so many trophies won for this, and I cans ee why, this is so breathtakingly beautiful. It's so soft and melodic, with so much tender love. Amazing job this wa beautiful. Thanks for this wonderful entry.
    Blessings,
    ~Michaela~

  • redmarkonthewall
    May 25

    Edit | Reply
    A lot of trophies are pinned to this amazing piece. I like that there is a bit of uncoincidental linkage between the drawing you made and the photo. You gave me a lengthy explanation for this piece. Thank you for doing that, unlike some people. You truly wish to win a spot. Good luck.


  • Blooming Poet Greeters member
    May 11

    Edit | Reply
    Great work. The poems speaks so much. Ii really enjoyed it. I also like that you went into detail about each stanza and wat your iinspirations were. Great work

  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    May 2
    Edit | Reply
    Stunning piece you have here! thank you for entering my contest. all the best
  • fantasylandthinker01
    April 28
    Edit | Reply
    wow great imagery in this peice!

  • Poetryintheblood
    April 17
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your beautiful entry, good luck, Josie

  • wingsofgold25 silver member
    April 15
    Edit | Reply
    You certainly do have a vivid imagery.
    Thanks for your entry Good Luck in yhe contest.

  • azlyn gold member
    April 10
    Edit | Reply
    Most certainly a piece of art!!!

    Lovely~
    Az


  • MissApparition
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    This was truly incredible...

    The imagery here was second to none, transporting me directly to a place that I have never been before. Your pen is certainly charged with both talent and passion. Bravo!


  • Serene Rose
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    oh wow. I loved this!! Ido admit that the prompt is a good one, and I especially love what you did with it. this truly touched me.
    Thank you for entering!

  • whispernthedark silver member
    March 29
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for sharing your favorite with me, best of luck in the contest.

    ♥
    whisper

  • Reptile Lady gold member
    March 20

    Edit | Reply
    BREATH TAKING
    I am drawn like a magnet!
    The beauty of this write, the setting, paints my mind in brilliance.
    Julie


  • Luminescence
    February 27

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice.... this was well written and I enjoyed reading it throughly. This was my favourite stanza:
    Our anchor moored in quiescent time
    fog inspirited misty gray memories
    aphonic stranger inspirer to song
    this place cries your lonely silence.

    Great work. Thank you so much for entering my contest and good luck,
    ~Lumin

  • Midnight-x-Rose gold member
    February 15
    Edit | Reply
    very beautiful indeed. Beautiful picture, it really fits well.

  • Thedamned77
    February 13

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    Beautiful poem! I loved the imagery in here. Thank you for entering my contest. The whole thing was just so stinkin good, but my favorite part was:

    It was your desperation's plea
    your weeping water stained images
    lonely tears of stagnant longing
    mapping visions of stillness, lost.

    That's just so rich and wonderful. Thank you for sharing this poem.

  • wakingdevil
    January 20

    Edit | Reply
    This was a beautifully imaginative write, very well penned.The only thing that bugged me was the amount of contests u've entered it in, of which I usually hv a preconcieved notion that u hv only 1 gr8 write.Thanks for entering


  • Blue Rew silver member
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    Impressive and astounding in the emotions it conveys.
    I can certainly agree with all the recognition it
    receives. Personally, I identify with much that is
    written here as in Pagan spirituality, water represents the feminine and emotion. It also represents rebirth. Here you make strong reference
    to these beliefs. Thank-you for sharing, Blue


  • O.o
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    This is a true example that a poem doesn't have to rhyme to be great! Well done, you've impressed me

    Thanks for entering

  • stompsalot
    January 9
    Edit | Reply
    a gorgeous, beautiful write! such heartfelt emotion throughout. amazing!
    Blessings and Istomps


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a great write Congratulations on all of those trophies that is impressive.
    Thank you for taking the time
    to enter this into my contest.
    I wish you the best of luck.

    RedwingSpirit


  • Xx Scarlet Dove xX
    January 7

    Edit | Reply
    Looking into your eyes of dreams
    to the silent singing of still waters
    caressing the smoothness of your cheek,
    I know the love your heart longs to sing.

    Wonderful. I am left speechless.

    Thank you so much for entering and good luck!

    • Roaddog Wolf gold member
      January 7
      Edit | Reply

      I am glad you enjoyed the read

      I am glad you enjoyed the read, Xx Scarlet dove xX Thank you fopr your kind words,
      David

  • trista gold member
    January 4

    Edit | Reply

    No

    This would probably score fairly well on my scoreboard, but I do agree with Jim. I felt this could have said just as much, and perhaps with even more impact, if trimed down a bit. Congrats on all of the trophies. I'm sorry this won't go any further in the POY, but you've absolutely got reason to be proud of this write.

    Thanks so much for giving us the opportunity to read this, and best wishes in all your writing endeavors,
    ~J.

  • Arkbear gold member
    January 2

    Edit | Reply

    Yes ~

    This is a splendid entry ~

     

    I would love to comment on this in depth, but I can not ~

     

    The best to you in the POY contest,

     

    Bear ~


  • Estel-amour
    January 2
    Edit | Reply

    Yes~

    Some interesting thoughts and images
    good luck
  • staticgrace
    December 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Choked Up

    Where do I start...?!! I began thinking this was a beautiful, thoughtful piece, still as the waters you've depicted; it calmed my mind and took me to the place you were describing.

    Yet as you went on, you included more emotion and entwined it with the imagery; you brought in just what God brought into nature to make it a more beautiful place - someone to appreciate it; a human. And what is more, two humans to love one another... I loved these lines:

    'Our anchor moored in quiescent time
    fog inspirited misty gray memories'

    What beauty is immortalised in these lines, what a talent you have with words, how they sound like the gentle lapping of the water and sing like the stillness of the breeze..

    The last verse truly won my heart, as I'm sure it did that of whomever this is written for! IT really brought a lump to my throat in fact!! 'As a mortal, I embrace you in my arms'

    'And should our souls find eternity,
    there is no one I'd rather spend forever with
    than you.' how emotional, how simple and true. Really beautiful, keep up the good work.


    God be with you xx


    • Roaddog Wolf gold member
      December 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you for your

      kind words and detail comment I appreciate it.

      Staticgrace ....lol My last name is "Grace"


      Thank you again

  • okadadokie
    December 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is simply beautiful.....It took my breath away. Your words flow like the waters you speak about. Great write.

    ~Oka/KC

  • Heavenly Angel
    December 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What a truly beautiful and absolutely gorgeous piece of poetry!
    I truly LOVED this one!
    Thank you so much for sharing this and for adding it to my contest! Bravo!

  • a lonely soul
    December 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was just so elegant and sweet. I really liked the last 2 stanza's of it. You did a very nice job writing this piece. thanks for entering my contest.
    ~~Tori~~

  • Rose Angel gold member
    November 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Sorry for taking the space,but this poem deserves the gold, as is in treasures hold, that none can compare!Bravo,to the thoghts and words expressed, once again!

  • LuzAradia gold member
    November 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Here we go again. Ah hemmmmmm "WOW!!!!" this was great. I loved that this read with subtitle alliteration that one wouldn't really notice yet it reads smooth and wonderful all the way through. One thing though, the stanza:
    "Looking into your eyes of dreams
    to the silent singing of still waters
    caressing the smoothness of your cheek,
    I know the love your heart longs to sing."
    Seems a bit off from the rest of the poem. The language and intensity just isn't as powerful to me. You don't have to follow my opinion but every other line seemed to captivate me with amazing imagery and emotion yet that stanza seemed a bit bland. Perhaps just re-word it a bit? Regardless, great job here!

  • Justusdreams
    October 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I don't have to tell you it's wonderful so i won't. My favorite line is 'I feel the urge to hold you' after you see the two robins. I got butterflies in my stomach just reading this. After 11 years with my husband, I still get this feeling. You know maybe it takes that long to love someone that much. Was this for a new love or old. Anyway i think you're an amzing artist. Would even be interested in looking at some of your wood work if it's for sale. I'm right up the 74.


  • Estel-amour
    October 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I can see why this has won like a bazillion gold trophies: it's just that good... the images that you've painted here are some of the most beautiful that I've seen in poetry. Thank you, so much for sharing, and I wish you all the best :-)

  • pearl-dragon gold member
    October 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a truly amazing expression of thoughts. I was carried away by the images your words created in my mind.

    Take care
    Margaret

    . Rewarded 4


  • Jalalbad gold member
    October 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    wow wow wow

    is all I can say.
    Smile,
    Judy


  • VirginiaDarling
    October 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WOW so many trophys on this wonderful poem, Congrats on all of them. This was a great write, you definately deserved all the wins. Keep up the wonderful writeing.

  • Dashed Hopes1992
    October 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    you have the trophys and the comments to boast this wondefull poem.

  • Crystal Chanda Lear
    October 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on winning all those trophys. You surely deserved it with this remarkable poem. An extremely well-crafted and thoughtful poem full of original imagery and exquisite vocabulary and with an underlying somber sensitivity. Just a delight to read and ponder. Best of luck, and thanks for entering.

    Mercury Rising

  • Raven Judge
    September 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Too often works like this one leave out reality for a sort of metaphysical view of the future that is at once endearing and impossible. I was delighted to find that you have avoided that poetic pitfall by keeping in touch with the world around you even as you discuss a feeling of "forever." An example of this would be when you write "I hear a fish jump." It is that you are so cognizant of the world around you that gives your words meaning, truth and sincerity. You're not just living a pipe dream.

    Thank you for your entry.

    ~Das

  • xxlisajazminexx
    September 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    beautifully done!!!!!!!!!!!!
    very lovely indeed !
    wonderful images throughout each line....
    vivid i must say......
    wonderful!!!!!!!!
    thank you for entering into my contest!!!!!!!!!

  • anaisnais
    September 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, what an absolutely adorable write, one I guess will be revisited for some time yet to come. Superb.


  • grannyeri gold member
    September 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Quite a collection of trophies you have here - liked the thoughts on how this came to be and the great verbiage in these lines. Some wonderful moments shared.