let me count the ways I’ve chased
fires, wood smoke carried in clothes, hair
and somewhere a drum
without a voice to convince
words scurry forgotten by the time
the dust has settled
the night explodes, and I hear
just maybe, there is more to the story
- iconoclastic champion, martyr
for the many
perhaps there are places - I would not
want for a glass skin, where boxed
belief was kept
I have learned to breathe in
squares, the definition of boundaries
and deadlines in circles
of opportunities let slide
there are women who pursue
with less subtlety
unaware of the ease
with which a man can be kept
content, the moon lingers
just above the tree line
over the hills lighting
the fog snakes to fill low places
and imperfect pores
Author notes
We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
In a list
A contest entry
- Open House by Nicole Hanna.
2000 points, ended July 9, 2007, 39 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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So Im late , again. But i still got to read this. It's all good. lol
Congrad's on the book.
I have always loved mason jars.
Joe
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How exciting!!! Congratulations, this is truly an accomplishment to be proud of! It takes dedication to publish, to see everything through, so yipppeee!
Love the cover, and the poem!
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I've yet to learn how to keep a man properly, perhaps soon
Love the cover.
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Wish i could see this a bit better.. what is in the mason jar? Is it obvious when you have the cover in your hand?.. i love the looks of it- the back cover looks amazing too- Just a beautiful idea and follow through.. a great highlighted piece
m
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It's pot pourri, once I have the actual book in my hands I will of course post a better pic but the publisher only sent me a small file size.
Thanks Mary
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"perhaps there are places - I would not
want for a glass skin, where boxed
belief was kept
I have learned to breathe in
squares, the definition of boundaries
and deadlines in circles
of opportunities let slide"
right now
with what's going on
mostly the tv
(wonder years is on)
I cant concentrate..and I really wish I could..because I feel like this would push inside me...?
but...I really like the way it's written
a lot actually...
and this might not mean anything...but you are now one of my favorite writers on AP
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thank you
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sometimes I feel like
a filament burning in a light bulb
and through this void I see
shadows moving on the other side
I try to touch them with my incandescent fingertips
but all I reach is glass
one day I’m going to break free…
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yes, the glass
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seriously, the line breaks work very well, the mixture of images moves nicely, and even though you're hiding a bit behind the smoke this communicates well.
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love it. look out for those fog snakes, though. i got bit by one once, and look what happened to me. very good write, jan.
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Hi you. How's your summer been going along? The girls all healthy? Doing the swimming lessons etc. and so on? Miss seeing little Mary. Did I tell you my office went virtual? I am having a difficult time adjusting - mostly I stay in my pjs for days on end. LOL Anyway your poem?
Stanza 1, 2 an 3 rock. I love them. I am not as in love with Stanza 4 & 5 they seem a tad weaker in voice than the beginning and end.
but there is definite recovery in 6 & 7 which kick it big time.
Great re-entry baby.
Lisa
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Interesting observation about those two stanzas not being as strong. Yep. You'd be right.
Thanks Lisa
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just above the tree line
over the hills lighting
the fog snakes to fill low places
and imperfect pores
Are you above the tree line and its imperfect pores? Because this piece sure is.
Beautiful. But then again, you knew that.
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Wonderful.... stuff....
The hiatus has been GOOD to you ....
"I have learned to breathe in
squares, the definition of boundaries"
I love that... sense of defiance there? ..
and the whole ...hazy outline in this, as if the lines of belief have lost their solidity..
and what zara said... lol
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It's been somewhat painful so I'm glad the outcome is perceived as good. Thanks L
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ooooooo
don't want to return
Is this the Jan I know? She's leapt miles from where I knew her.
This is fantastic, Jantastic. And I ain't just being cute!
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not quite sure where I am these days and hoping I can find a little time to figure it out
thanks Ms. Z
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Ooohhhweee, I'm loving that first stanza, the enjambment, the way everything seamlessly flows into the next line. Well worth the wait, I think.
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thanks
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LOL You got it.
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thank you... situation being remedied in the next few minutes...
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