I live in a house full of rooms that I walk through every day.
Each room shaded in routine, a dismal color grey.
Jaded, dusty and old…
Each room so bland, and so cold.
And everyday continuing on in this dull, lifeless way.
Sluggishly meandering through this dwelling place,
I passed through the gorge of empty space
Cluttered with the precious possessions I no longer see
The things that once encompassed all I've tried to be.
Suddenly out of a haze
I focused my gaze
Upon what seemed so oddly amiss
"For every long year
That I have lived here
Why have I never seen this??"
Could it just be that this discovery
Was something I've just managed to forget?
As I entered on through, I immediately knew
That this I would never regret.
The peculiar steps before me brought a spine-tingling sense
Because I had only ever known
My little humble home
As a single story residence
With my curiosity unsurpassed,
And an overwhelming deja vu..
I thought, "Perhaps this is just a reminder from the past,
Or perhaps it's the promise of something new!"
Trudging up the staircase toward the high towering door
I fought the vague recollection of having been there before.
With each new step the excitement intensified
But little did I know
That what my eyes were to bestow
Could never be easily described
As soon as I entered came the intoxicating rush
Of a warmth that thawed my heart and soul and made my cheeks to flush
For from the crystal windows shined shimmery streams of light
With a brilliant gleam and a piercing sheen that blazed just ever so bright
It blotted out the doldrums and any spec of muted lackluster
And with the very deepest breath of air that I could ever possibly muster
I embraced the energetic surge
By singing a song, That was clear and strong
Drowning out my old dreary dirge
I began to dance and jump around,
Soaring with exhilarated leaps and bounds
In this room that felt so clean and new,
With each and every new breath I drew.
Then, as I stood in awe
Of all that I saw
I was struck by a stark realization
That this beautiful room
Was suited only to whom
Would one day help rule a nation
I became instantly aware, that I had trespassed where
I absolutely did not belong
It was a place not for me, a place for high royalty
I felt so foolishly wrong
All of this decadence
And regal abundance
Was for no one less
Than a princess
Feeling unworthy to even breathe
I quickly turned away to leave...
But then I caught a glimpse of a reflection
That seemed to stare back in my direction
At first I did not recognize
This girl who was just about my size
A Crown of jewels high upon her Head
A golden scepter held in one hand
Her vanilla gown so majestic and splendid
And Confidence spoken with a noble stand
This girl who, to my surprise,
Without a doubt
Had my blue eyes!
Deep down I believe I somehow always knew
That this treasure I’d found, though forgotten, it’s true
Was a gift that was so exquisitely divine
It was all for me, it was always mine…
This grace, so completely undeserving
And this place only for a,"Daughter of the King".
“I will go before you
And make the crooked places straight;
I will break in pieces the gates of bronze
And cut the bars of iron.
I will give you the treasures of darkness
And hidden riches of secret places,
That you may know that it is I, the LORD,
Who calls you by your name...” (Isa. 45:2-3)
Author notes
Code # 2007RC017
A contest entry
- search by CarCrashHumor.
800 points, ended August 1, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - No work required for this contest. Prewrites only. by yoopea.
617 points, ended July 21, 2007, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter Prewrites You Think Are Worthy Of Gold by KittieLyyn.
330 points, ended July 25, 2007, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Raven Contest: Uncovering Genius in the Written Word by Raven Contest.
14500 points, ended October 1, 2007, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please let me know a couple elements that you appreciate about this poem. :)
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Promise...sing
The Way weighs more than daily quest
and preciousness within resides,
nor aim for fame nor flame abides
where, shadows shed, or care depressed
life turns a corner which provides
perspectives fresh, success inquest
dissolving as nor penetrating hides
nor seeks retain soul's soaring gest ...
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There is something epic in the journey we all take to understand ourselves, and in those travels come to appreciate what Walsh or Bach would refer to as a "higher understanding of ourselves." While I can appreciate the quest that you have undertaken here (as it is a road that we all walk upon) I feel that you have lost the forest for the trees, so to speak. The text here is so completely crammed with your feelings and descriptions that the audience tends to lose their way: we struggle to find meaning in your struggle to find meaning. In a sense this confusion is just as valid as any other emotion and if you meant to invoke it I can only say that you have succeeded. But the best part of any journey is arriving at your destination with a full appreciation of where you have been. It is very hard to say that this is the case here.
Thank you for your entry.
~Das -
I truly understand the meaning of the write. It is captivating.For we all who believe in the Lord our is heir in the Kingdom of everlasting life.
I will go before you
And make the crooked places straight;
I will break in pieces the gates of bronze
And cut the bars of iron.
I will give you the treasures of darkness
And hidden riches of secret places,
That you may know that it is I, the LORD,
Who calls you by your name...” (Isa. 45:2-3)
I truly love this scripture it fits so well in your write. I think those who do not share our Love for Our Lord will miss some of it message. The title gave me other thoughts as I read it, I was amazed by it. Very refreshing. I think you may want to write to some Christian Publishing Company this is truly a treasure of a work. As a judge I try to balance my beliefs and maintain open look at all of the writes. Your love for God jumps out at me. Congratulation on the final round. I truly enjoy this read. I even book mark it to share it with a friend.
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This poem has a spiritually uplifting feel of escapism to it which I think is a pleasing aspect which is certainly welcomed in time when life can feel so colourless and miserable. I think the first two stanzas reflect the drab existence of many people who live by routine and possibly find no hope for a bright future. Whether this work is creating a scene of hope or an elusive dream, people need some form of escape from the mundane reality that life sometimes is. I like how the steps appear here, as if they’d always been there but maybe they were a long forgotten thing because I see this also as a metaphor as if discovering an inner escape for the soul, a route out of the mundane which hadn’t been seen before. Sometimes we need to look within ourselves to find answers that can not be found elsewhere. What ever place we escape to individually, be it unassuming, grand, imaginary, real or spiritual, we all appear to find momentary respite from the world around us, a place where we belong, a place where we can be in touch with our ‘true self’.
Each time I read this poem I felt there was something not quite right with it and I’m still not sure I have put my finger in it because although there is a certain rhythm and flow through this work, it is not regular. Looking at it closer, the rhyme scheme appears to follow no regular pattern and so I’m not sure if this was written primarily as a rhyming work or if it is freeverse with added rhyme, which is sometimes a thing freeverse writers choose to do. I might be a little hung up on this because rhyme is my preferred form but if there is a pattern, it is one that I am not familiar with, however I think other aspects and content of the work is enjoyable for readers.
Congratulations on reaching the final round of the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with this entry.
Northern Raven
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Oh. This is so beautiful. I loved it. When I read the scripture, it made the poem even more beautiful and sent chills down my spine. Welcome to AP. You're poetry here will be much appreciated for its beauty and its form.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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Thank you for your kind comment! I'm glad you enjoyed this one...Its one of my favs.
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Wow!
I'm in awe, great write, very intense and deep...
what a wonderful treasure
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this was a wonderful narrative--
it flowed nicely, and kept my attention which is always a plus.
"Sluggishly meandering through this dwelling place,
I passed through the gorge of empty space
Cluttered with the precious possessions I no longer see
The things that once encompassed all I've tried to be.
Suddenly out of a haze
I focused my gazed
Upon what seemed so oddly amiss
"For every long year
That I have lived here
Why have I never seen this??" "
and I liked how you added from the bible-- I always like a little Scripture in poetry, when it's not necessarily blatantly spiritual.
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