~~~~~~~
A ashen radiance flickers from my end, with gesture
My man he ponders, waiting for me to slumber so
he can meet me by the summer’s waterfall again
sitting by the rock to conclude our gorgeous kiss
So gorgeous he kisses with combustion and luminosity
flowing cascading suns in my own dreadful respires
His eyes the glistening and pure of a still moon
Looking in my every view to the height of my amazement
As supple as a love dream your love comforts my life
when the abstraction emerges after the eyes are lit
running from the very essence of your empathy
where love is not acquainted with reality love
she can not clarify her emotions there quite silent
becoming only metaphors, unable to be painted
only if you knew how beautiful his love and he was
to take in concideration when I say that
you and your love are more beautiful
~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
In a list
A contest entry
- Best February Prewrites from These Dates: by Paloszoo.
700 points, ended March 2, 75 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Winklings # 168 ~ For members and Allpoetry ~ Free Verse anyone? by Lyndon.
1750 points, ended March 30, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Wow!
Note: More than dream ...
and "An ashen radiance ...".
This ran to overeflowing, in the lineation provided.
I did enjoy it even for the novelty of babbling along from line to kissing line!
May I wish you the best.
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This is a wonderful piece, but it doesn't fit the guidelines of the contest. Thanks for entering. It's an honor to have you show your work here.
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the only question i have is "he kisses with combustion and luminosity"? very awkward construct hurts the flow U R trying to achieve here good write except for the awkward construct in certain parts thanks for sharing regards zaj good title interesting opening lines vg ending lines
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Oh this is so beautiful... I am glad you featured this poem. There must be something about dreams today. Or maybe subconsciensly I saw your title I just wrote a poem about dreams. Great job as always!
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sweet
very sweet write . . liked "His eyes the glistening and pure of a still moon" and "running from the very essence of your empathy" . . be sure to use the spelling check . . beautiful write, though ..
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This is pretty good. I like how you wrote it. Keep up your god work! thanks for entering and best of luck!!!
Crimson -
this is really good and a wonderful write
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9
Beautiful words here. I wish you were a student of mine so we could go over this poem line by line. There are spots were the lines need to be broken. It is a poem with publication possibilities thru several rewrites.
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bravo
Chock full of langorous poetic phrasings like a quiet river to the sea... lovely.. bravo... bravo... bravo...
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Lovely Poem
This was a beautiful write with quite stunning imagery. I love poetyry about dreams. There we can be anyone we want to. Thank you for sharing. This was a pleasure to read this morning. Take care, Sandy
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Lovely flow and expression. had great emotion towards a private lover ~ mikeee
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Very beautiful!! Loved it! Very strong vocab used, which made it even better!<3Jess
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Loved It!!! :]
♥--T.R;
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Enchanting!
This was a lovely poem filled with all
the magic of romance and love.
The images you painted with your swelling
words were sparkling and jubilant.
I could feel the passion and romance in
every line. Nicely done -
this is so beautiful! the words form such wonderful images in my head. its like a dream you would never want to wake up from!
~Bethany~
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lovely images and thoughts in love's enchantment
where cotton clouds are your pillows and kisses the blanket that warms
very nice
Michelle
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*sighs* Oh my, what a beautiful read this is! Sounds as if it is magical, and mystical in that very few feel that way today. That special love....... beautiful!!!!!
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You make writing seems like a job that you do very well, I just wish it was something you truly love. If indeed you are in love with writing lovely things, live up to what you believe in. The sweetest thing in life could easily be dangerous and a killer as well. great write yo'.
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Beautiful!
You are truley talented ! I loved every word .
Such a whimsical tale for love between the two of you !
an amazing write!
she can not clarify her emotions there quite silent
becoming only metaphors, unable to be painted
This was so understandable by me!
~Lisa~
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-nods, sitting under a cherry true- The gentless of love. A touch so genlte in this poem one would almost surely miss it if they did not look too close as to ascertain that which is needing to be shown, the heart of a love, and the soul to match, so subtle, so pure. I love this poem, it speaks volumes in the ways of the heart. My hat is off to you m'lady, I am your pawn. How will you move me next?
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thank you
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Outstanding write
You are so talented dear. I had to read this amazing write twice. The more I read the more I wanted to read. A true magical fantasy like a beautiful dream. (LISA)
"So gorgeous he kisses with combustion and luminosity
flowing cascading suns in my own dreadful respires
His eyes the glistening and pure of a still moon
Looking in my every view to the height of my amazement"
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