There they are
perched in a tree
seven painted teeth
all colored with teal
shaded by paper bag
leafs from yester[year]
so under branches I wait
catching peppermint seasons
watching seven teeth
all fall d
o
w
n
like leafs of
F A L L
Author notes
I was dead writing this.....
A contest entry
- Pre-write Party 3 by DancingRed.
300 points, ended September 26, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Initial reaction - 9
Poetic devices - 25
Individuality/creativity - 14
Vocabulary - 9
Emotional engagement - 8
Layout/organisation - 3
Spelling/grammar/punctuation - 5
Background/font - 5
Overall impact - 9
Total score - 84
I like this. It's quirky and brilliantly abstract. Perhaps the lines could have been put in groups of three or five to suit the odd nature of the poem.
The small amount of all caps works quite well at the end - almost like a layer of leaf litter at the bottom of a tree.
I'm not sure if you meant 'leaves' instead.
Thanks for entering.
DancingRed.
-
Wow awsome poem.
Amber
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