You`ve been so long, playing at life,
now you are counting the cost.
You think you`re reheasing for opening night,
but look at the time you have lost.
Now you are telling the story.
I listen and think.
God what a tale you have spun,
and in the distance I see,
a man, and his heart you have broken.
Author notes
Anna Nalick- "Breathe (2 a.m.)"
A contest entry
- Lyrics and Poems by gentle breeze.
525 points, ended July 24, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I actually do not know that song. I've never really heard of it. I like your piece though, and I especially love the ending lines. The heart you have broken. So well written!
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I like that your poem echoed some of the sentiments expressed in the lyrics of the song. I interpreted this as turning things around a bit compared to the lyrics where the girl thinks she has made a mistake- while in your poem, the boy's heart is broken. That's great. You've brought forward a lot of feeling in this short poem and I always admire poets who can do that. Thanks so much for taking the time to enter my contest. I truly appreciate it.
NOTE: I believe you left out the "r" in "rehearsing" in the 3rd line.
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I can see you not only enjoy writing but you are a big reader. I'm sure all the poets can call you their number one fan. Thank you for being there for us. My wish for you would be trophies, trophies and more trophies. Good luck!
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