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The House that Kevin Built

 Please see notes

Buzzword b[l]eached pompos_city
unhinges poetic experience's

foundations .

Quickie contests try city zen patience,
sat on a mo(nu)ment
rapping at grief.

Contest(ed) cliques p(l)ay it forward
feature backward thinking,
(ill)iterative judgements often biased.

 

Uncommented gems, rhyme overlooked

alongside ready vers libres rants,

compete with time for lebensraum.

Author notes

words in [b]rackes vehicle two or more meanings
mo(nu)ment monument or moment nu ... nu is French for naked, bare

_____

Quickie Contest 20 minutes 40 words Prompt

The House that Jack Built

bones bleached by
indiscretion
frame the houses
of human
existence
________________

She never told her love,
But let concealment, like a worm i’ the bud
Feed on her damask cheek. She pined in thought,
And with a green and yellow melancholy
She sat like patience on a monument,
Smiling at grief. Was not this love indeed ?

William Shakespeare (1564–1616),
Twelfth Night, act 2, sc. 4, l. 110-5
_______________

No offence to Kevin - just a legitimate real time commentary upon quickie fluff

Enjoy !

In a list

A contest entry

Courtesy welcome and extended

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • Nicole Hanna
    July 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    LOL That middle stanza just had me laughing. Sometimes, I wonder about these quickie contests, but it seems to be all I'm holding lately. Thanks for entering. This was clever, and easy to appreciate.

  • Room without doors silver member
    July 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Good to see you winning a trophy for your poetry. Word banks can be very inspiring!


  • checkmate
    July 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! Beautiful piece. I liked this! I haven't entered in a quickie so far ( and I am glad- I can't write off something real fast and still make it good )

    I loved the last stanza. I agree!! Great job!! And congratulations on your gold trophy- you certainly deserved it!

    . Rewarded 6


  • Night Hope gold member
    July 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "sitting on a mo(nu)ment
    smiling at grief."

    Yes. I like this one, Scribe. I understand the reference "illiterative judgements often biased." Good luck in Bunny's contest, my Friend. Wanda

    . Rewarded 4


  • Cupcrazy gold member
    July 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Well that speaks a ton and is full of emotion. Although one should not cast everyone in the same mold, for there are those hosts that dip fingers in clay and others who prefer to add water for more substance. Loved it hugs, Bunny

  • Cupcrazy gold member
    July 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Your Prompt is: A piece I wrote below

    The House That Jack Built



    bones bleached by
    indiscretion
    frame the houses
    of human
    existence
1 - 7 of 7