You encircled my being
in scandalous deception
tantamount to your fingers
neck choking inception
my heart surrounded
your distracting smile
words unfounded
looking all the while
into
lies
deathly eyes.
A contest entry
- Another Delightful Quickie ~Pay it Forward~ by delightfulmess.
450 points, ended July 5, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Eloquence in Brevity by RatherImaginative.
1400 points, ended July 31, 2007, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
"tatamount" Did you mean "tantamount"?
I liked how you shaped the poem into a goblet. Considering the substance of it, it brought to mind unknowingly ingesting a poison . . . in this case, the lies. Your poem flowed very well, and the rhyme is smooth and unforced. Thanks so much for entering my contest! -
It looked promising at the start but that was the beginning of the end in feelings and it showed, very much.
-
My heart surrounded your distracting smile words unfounded looking all the while into lies deathly eyes..this is a powerful piece you have penned and thought provoking
Thanks for sharing

-
very good take on the prompt...i see you are off to another day of quicies
good luck dear...bbe well and be blessed
-
Whoa that was intense
And I loved it!!! Great Job thank you for entering.

-
Very prolific! Best of luck!


~Lori ♥
-
Liked the rhyme in this...as well as the word choice. Great job!
-
Your prompt is up
-
Good luck.
-
-
thank you
you too
-
1 - 10 of 10








