The clouds dance across the sky
In the presence of my inquiring eye,
They move in slow motion
Like a hypnotic potion.
Two fluffy singles join together
In a ghostly kiss.
An event no other can see,
But too obvious for me to miss.
Existing in an inhumanly way,
Free of decay,
What a form.
Being with or without storm
Yet just like us,
Forced to conform.
A contest entry
- A Moment in Time (contest by sinnastarr) by Sinnastarr.
590 points, ended December 31, 2007, 39 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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ichigosama
it's very very nice. but it also sounds like you want to be in the clouds. i could be wrong. like you're daydreaming of somewhere. i do that all the time. the clouds dance across the sky in the presence of my inquiring eye. i like that line. thanks for entering. -
Wonderful observation, almost as an extended Haiku.
None of the colours are here from my particular
theme, but I did enjoy the read! Blue
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Beautiful. Thanks for entering.
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This was a great read. You portrayed your thoughts very well and paint a great picture. You truly capered a moment in time. There is a lot to like in this poem, for example the stanza,
"Existing in an inhumanly way,
Free of decay,
What a form.
Being with or without storm
Yet just like us,
Forced to conform"
Well done poet!
Very elegantly written.
Thank you so much for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck.
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Thank you very much. Your comment was very generous!!
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Interesting what you can see in clouds sometimes.
Although very simple, I do like it a lot. Well done.
Anna.
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A Good poem, based on keen insight & observation. You have drawn an interesting similiarity and conclusion.
Thanks for sharing this one,
David
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clouds are very good symbols
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Very good.
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Thank you very much!
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I like the second stanza especially.
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Thank You.
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