You felt the air leave your lungs,
tangle in my hair, fall on my lips.
Your hands flew to my face
pulled me, 'til we were forehead to forehead.
We paused, tented, soaked in feelings,
hands clasped behind the neck.
Tangled hearts, merged breath ~
silent, surrendered, we wait.
Waves gather to crest and fall,
swirl around us, run out and back.
We know breath, we know joy.
Rich in this moment,
we lean into each other,
our world in its quiet forever.
12:30 PM
07/05/07
Newington, VA
Author notes
innocence - sometimes only for a moment but strong enough to make a permanent memory. Love, tomisb
In a list
A contest entry
- Innocense Versus Corruption by alexandrathegreat.
500 points, ended July 10, 2007, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 39 of 39
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innocence in the pure form of a lovers kiss that holds you forever.
Riftkin
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Glad you enjoyed this poem. It is the image that drove me. What else can I say. Love, Tom B.
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Absolutely amazing..I felt myself simply succumb to the each word..sighs..
You have an amazing gift..
A treasure to read..
Peace
~A~
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I have been accused of being to positive, what a sin. I have been accused of being too lyrical. It is always a pleasure to hear someone just tell me they have been touched and gifted by my words. Thank you.
Love, Tom B.
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intense, for certain
and highly visual... vivid imagery and it engages other senses as well... definitely a sense of motion conveyed in the piece... very emotional and you've managed to make it an experience that the reader can relate to, as well...
I love the line:
"Tangled hearts, merged breath ~"
I found that imager, those words alone, amazing...
wonderful work!
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There are moments, ones of purity and grace between two human beings. I tried to make this one. The sense of motion I hope was a feeling or a sense of coming together. I hope this brought a sense of tender wonder to your heart. Love Tom B.
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oh the days of youth. good write. thanks for sharing.
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I don't know that it is locked in the arms of youth. I know I could do it too.
Love, Tom B.
but I won't tell.
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Yes this one is very good too. I can see why you wanted me to read it and it's like a sister poem to the other one I commented on, isn't it? You must really love your wife to speak in such delicate and intimate ways. You don't humiliate her by being vulgar but lift her up in words and feelings of great beauty. I hope to someday meet someone who will love me as much as you love her.
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You want it. Give it. Create it. Become the love you want to receive.
It is that easy and that hard in the same breath. Change your world change the universe. I was a messed up human being with a High Anxiety Disorder. Before I found out the problem, I began to spend every day giveing thanks. I had a broken leg at the time and was living on welfare cause I couldn't work. I was only getting 240.00 a month plus 80.00 in food stamps. Someone showed up who said, now to this day I don't know what I did, i had done more than they could ever repay. He gave me 100.00 every two weeks. More stuff happened. In the end I got a job that paid twice what I was making before. All I can say is discover your resource to joy. I spent every day trying to say thank you for 1,000 things. I don't think I ever succeeded but I never stopped trying. Now I say thank you all the time. Be your word. What ever you want is what you give. Read a book I discovered recently, it may help. It is called "The Power Of Now" it was published in 1945 and is still in print. Most librarys have waiting lists. If you really want passion and love in your life become the resource for it. Best of luck and talk to me any time about all the changes you will go through. this is the greatest moment in your life or ironically you don't want this and it will be the greatest joke. You want it. Earn it. Or be the guy waiting to win Publisher's Clearing House so he can solve his problems. Love Tom B.
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Wow. I'm so speechless. The magical journey of a kiss...and the loss of innocence. I agree. The memory of innocence can never fade. It's like the wake of a brand new day...a day that can never be rewound and done over again...a day both gentle and longlasting. This poem is really beautiful. Passionate. Outstanding.
I more than enjoyed reading.
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You assume the kiss. Perhaps at this point they don't. So full of this moment of love that they simply sit close. Perhaps they do in one soft lingering touch of bliss. But this moment they will not forget in their lexicon of forevers. Love, Tom B. You are right it is like the wake of a brand new day.
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I LOVE this....The title fits it, perfectly!
There is such a gentleness about this, and the ending could not be more perfect...LOVE IT!!!!!!
Lynda
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What can I say. For me this is just one of those,"it just is" moments. My vision of innocence and the way it recurs in our world.
Love, Tom B.
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Another breath taking masterpiece from this masters pen...leaves the knees weak and the heart craving for more...We know breath, we know joy. Rich in this moment...Tangled hearts, merged breath~ silent, surrendered, we wait...Thank you so much my friend can I have my breath back now
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Certainly, these moments of forever are only timeless for the soul. We engrave them on our memories so we can touch forever when we forget the location of our joy.
Love, Tom B.
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Tender and beautiful penning. Your 30 days might be up, but your heart is still hanging back there
Nice work, my pleasure to read ~Tia
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The 30 days of poems were neither beginning nor end. Only an introduction.
Thanks for sharing your joy, my friend. I am bigger for it.Love Tom B.
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this is a moment I would wish for
over and over in heaven...beautiful,
sweet Poet. No other word can describe
this poem. Love, Lane
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My sense of propriety and graciousness says I must answer all of my comments. I think you have heard my answer a thousand times over. I just saw us. Forehead to forehead and I couldn't get past the moment. It seemed both of us was waiting for the other to move. But until then we were drinking the moment. it is so good to have your smile back in my heart. Love Tom B.
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Excellent Write of Passion
Ummmm! The tenderness of a wanton kiss, the passion, the pleasure is just like the beauty of the ocean, in ones arms you ride the waves & tide as it rises and falls. This one was breathtaking for me.....novy
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Your romantic side is showing. Thanks for sharing all of your joy. It puts a smile on my face. Love Tom B.
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oh gag me with a spoon u mushy boy
this was pretty
too pretty
blah.
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Jealousy or is it envy, doth not become you bees knees\
Love Tom B. -
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neither. just nauseated (sp?) with the affection on this page
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Magnifique!
A good poem should make the reader 'feel' something. This does. I suppose that feeling is different for each reader. For me it creates a feeling of a pure and celibate love. A love that is strong enough to exist without surrendering to the desires of the flesh.
I adore the image of forehead to forehead. Very vivid.
I love the format of this piece. This is lovely!
Cris
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Thanks Cris, this was just an effort to catch love when it is so present you just stand in it touching, knowing and let it run over you. I think you caught it rather well.
Love, Tom B.
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this is just beautiful tom. and yes innocense even if only for a brief fleeting moment can make history between two people. you words are always so tender and loving and romantic...you are talented in the mind but alos in the heart my dear friend. ") be well and be blessed
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Thanks for the vote of confidence. It is nice that in almost sixty years I have learned a little
Yes we need to be aware of how we touch each other and how deep each touch is.
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First off Tommy I love the title. Your air metaphor, motif reappears in front of my eyes, like it's been hiding just a few clicks away. I would figure, if you were to enter this contest it would be an innocence poem. I have only seen your work as light and airy, happy. Makes me feel free. This is romantic and beautiful, the comment in your author box is chillingly true. Thank you for your time Tom, I know that you are a busy man but I appreciate your entry.
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I always try to find time for my friends and those who breathe kisses upon my heart. Thanks for holding me higher in the Light of Joy than I perhaps truly am at time. Be blessed and full of grace. Love, Tom B.
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Softly beautiful and wonderfully written...
To feel this kind of love and intensity for another must be awesome
I wish you the very best in this contest, my friend; it's a gorgeous piece -
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We can only live with moments it seems but they are remarkable when they occur and if we are smart enough to let them grow in our hearts then when anger, negative fears appear we can make them disappear with this light. Love, Tom B.
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The title is an effective introduction to the softness of the piece and the light that each of the two within are finding within the other.
Am tentatively unsure about the capitalization used,sometimes just the first line of a couplet,sometimes both lines of the couplet & in the last couplet neither line capitalized,whilst the punctuation must ultimately be the poets decision am mentioning as it places pauses or stresses just a tad within the freeflowing feel that resonates within the words.
Liked the inclusion of "tented" as opposed to enveloped,it still had the same resonance of enveloped but tented was as if this,this was a unique way to be enveloped.
The presentation in couplet form works well to compound the intimate moments and creates a series of small sighs across the page.
A piece that allows the reader a touch of gentle serenity within the forever quiet of being caught on a feather of light.
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I tried to make each couplet complete to itself. I love how you called them sighs. But I let the sentences move through separate from the couplets to heighten the enjambment created by the lines.
I wanted to create a couple of images and was challenged by the form I chose. One was the image of a triangle created by to people only touching truly at the foreheads with their hands around each others necks. So I chose tented because it caught the envelopment as you called it and because of the triangular shape of a pup tent in my eyes.
The other was the water waves. It too has many levels. One was them being like shells or stones pushed together permanant but worn and touched by the ceaseless waters. There is more but of course I could talk for hours and so rather than write a book I will stop here.
Oh thanks for catching till it is 'til and I hate editorial error.
Love, Tom B.
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beautifully done!
"Tangled hearts, merged breath ~
silent, surrendered, we wait."
sigh~ I justy lovbe those lines!
Wonderful write!
Lynda
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i saw this in slow motion...
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So did I. I had to sit with the image for along time to keep it clear,clean and pure.
Love, Tom B.
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