Lake on Fire
First winter day this year is clear
The angle of the sun severe
A timid wind smooths out the waves
Each photon is a flaming spear
The angry lake responds in fire
It’s brighter than the sun
A trillion mirrors schooled like fish
Below atop the surface burn
You would be blind should you stare
at the blazing sparkles there
Your eyes will beg you gaze away
Oh what a splendored silvered day
Of what else bright that’s sometimes seen
few views usurp this silvery scene:
Red volcanoes spewing plume
Horizon peeping swoll full moon
Author notes
A contest entry
- All About Nature Contest by xXxWorthlessxXx.
450 points, ended July 25, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Science and Art by Lifecycler.
700 points, ended September 28, 2007, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Change of Season - 100 entries I'll give out 2050 Points 56 more to go by Florida Sunshine.
625 points, ended October 5, 2007, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Capture Me With Your Title by Dark Whispers.
421 points, ended September 25, 2007, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Synethesia- Blending Of The Senses by Mercury Rising.
600 points, ended December 16, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP Family // Paint me feelings with beauty! by Kristina87.
500 points, ended January 2, 2008, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "GOLD" "SILVER" "BRONZE" by wingsofgold25.
1000 points, ended April 23, 2008, 43 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Back into the rhythm by Shamanicmusings.
450 points, ended September 16, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Need AP Family (My First Contest) by Eric Matthews.
700 points, ended March 26, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Perspective by Tresimskaslessae.
490 points, ends December 4, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 55 of 55
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Indeed, great imagery here, I'm just lacking the ''love poetry'' in this. Which makes this unfit for the contest. I'll remove you tomorrow if you don't enlighten me on why this is love poetry
Cheers, Joshua
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Beautiful imagery, flawlessly written. As earlier mentioned it has a very different rhyme scheme but ti does little getting in the way of the overall flow of the piece. Just make sure you put in the author's notes how it ties in with the prompt. You painted an image on my minds eye with your words, poetry is a painting on the canvas of the readers mind. Beautiful . . .
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This is so cool! I really like this bit:
"Your eyes will beg you gaze away
Oh what a splendored silvered day"
Thank you so much for entering my contest, I love your poem! Good luck...
-heva
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http://vitrineenillumina.zerosun6.com/images/lake_of_fire.jpg <--that's what this made me think off.
You are a wonderful poet in painting images with words, which is what i'm looking for. It's a rather fasinating area, a lake on fire. I think there is so much we could write for this and you have only dug up the soft turf. Well done is the discorvery. Good writting keep penning!
Best of luck
Gorecki
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oh this is just awesome! the flow is great and so is the rhyme! thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!
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This is certainly a lovely piece, there's not doubt about that, but I think it could have been improved greatly by incorporating some punctuation.
Also the flow, while mostly very smooth was a little awkward in one or two places.
Nonetheless, whatever it's minus points -in my opinion- it is a very beautiful poem.
Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest. -
Excellent poem and very descriptive.
Eric
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wow
i see this has already won a lot of popular interest! And I can definitely see why too! its a very good write. interesting, thoughtful, fierce, frightening, solid, scary, beautiful, strong. . . all great. ..
well done. -
gorgeous
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this poem already has a gold cup. nevertheless a gorgeous and colorful piece. thank you for sharing.
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this write is amazing !!
three hoorays for it !!
good luck -
Beautiful imagery in this poem...thank you for entering and good luck
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The craft in this poem is unmistakable, and yet I feel there is potential room for improvement.
Forgive me, my appreciation of poetry is rooted in a mechanistic approach to the art.
I wouldn't write in an
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scheme, but that's not to say a great poem couldn't be made in such a manner. I have to admit that it reads rather well aloud and that is a huge plus.
The vocabulary and imagery are vivid and it isn't hard to see why trophies seem to be magnetized to this piece of work.
On the minus side, the half rhyme in the 2nd verse; the word "swoll" in the last verse; and the line "Below atop the surface burn" are enough to perhaps keep a good poem from going great. -
This is a very good poem it is artistic and discriptive and metaphoric! but you already know that!lol... and I love it! Thanks for entering. Its been real keep on writing!
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Great write and imagery I enjoyed it.
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Interesting words...finely crafted in this piece. I could easily picture the scene you created. Good luck with the contest
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I can certainly see why this piece has won so many trophies already. You are quite talented.
Best of luck! -
well done its a nice poem i love the imagery keep up the good work and good luck
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This is a very calming poem , just right for when the sun occasionally shines through the windows in wintertime.
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the imagery in this is great!
but unfortunately it has already placed in some other contests >_<
thankyou anyway.
=] -
this is a really great write!
but...you have already placed in contests with it!!
>_<
none the less,
wonderful.
=] -
wow! This is the view from your window?!
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Beautiful write
Thank you for your entry -
Bill, you didn't punctuate the poem.
Too bad, as you'd have been a finalist for sure. Oh well, better luck next time. You've got so many trophies that you don't need more on this poem anyway.
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wow this is stunning. it is very very clear to me me why this has won so many awards so far. Great work here.
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You entered this in the wrong contest ...
remove it and enter it in my other contest for prewrites. -
This is a lovely poem ...
but it doesn't fit this contest.
Also, what is "swoll"? I've never heard of such a word, and evidently neither has the dictionary. -
Beautiful imagery penned through this piece. Wonderful flow. Best wishes and thank you for entering.
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Beautiful with quite amazing imagery. You described it with incredible and vivid detail. I have been to lakes and have experienced things such as this. Well done, and thank you for entering the contest. Congrats on the trophies. Well deserved for this work.
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I had commented on this before not much more I can say.
Thank you for your entry and Good Luck in the contest. -
Boy this one has really made the rounds and done rather well at that. You put forth some amazing imagery here... Thanks for entering and best wishes... Not sure I can really say this is indescribable as you described it so well that I can see the angry lake on fire...lol.
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Wonderful imagery and emotion. I so enjoyed reading this morning. A very touching write for all. Thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest and thanks for entering!
Theresa
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very descriptive i like.
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This is a very descriptive piece. Such a wonderful flow and well chosen words. I loved the way I was able to see what you were writing, that is a lovely piece of work. When the reader doesn't have to try hard to envision what the writer sees. Best of luck. Hugs~Nikki
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good imagery here
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Okay, it's a nice poem. It took a second read to get the metaphor, but it is a great one.
Well done and good luck!
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good write nice word choice, my favorite part is:
You would be blind should you stare
at the blazing sparkles there
Your eyes will beg you gaze away
Oh what a splendored silvered day
Good luck in the competetion.. Great write
De-throned -
This is certainly a poem that paints a vivid picture, and quite a lovely one as well. Thanks for entering!
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You didn't use the required rhyming pattern. I notice that this piece has received many trophies, I don't know if you would want to alter the pattern just for this contest.
Thanks for the entry.
Jim -
this is wonderful though im not sure you will get a trophy from me it will take some thinking about thank you for entering
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This is very imagery and good read. My favorite lines were:
The angle of the sun severe
A timid wind smoothes out the waves
That really spoke to me. -
Beautiful, thanks for the entry
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This is a truly beautiful image you have painted and I can't not notice how it resembles the picture I had for the contest. I enjoyed the rich imagery, strong poetical devices and the natural rhyming. Maybe some slight changes could be done to make the rhythm of the verses perfect, but it sounds nice and with good flow the way it is.
Thank you very much for your entry! please tell me also who you would like to be in my AP family.
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What a great amount of imagery you have wielded within these lines here, I like that in poetry a good rhythm captured too in fact!
Thanks for entering the contest, I wish you the very best!
Leander -
Some really vivid and original imagery in this excellent poem. Congratulations on winning all of those trophys. I really enjoyed reading this piece, and I wish you the best of luck in my contest.
David
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the speed of it is quick.I like how it goes.Nice work.i like it.keep up the good work.
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very nice reflection of the seasons, makes a very vivid picture. best of luck in the contest. be well and be blessed
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The pace is quick and the rhyme does not seem forced, which earn big points from me. Nice work!
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Great imagery and very well penned. Good luck.
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A very well written and inspiring piece. We have a beautiful Lane where I live and sometimes we just go there to look at the beautiful reflections and changing colors as the bright Sun reflects upon it .
Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest. -
you remind meof a poet, rakerman, he can extremely well and you can too i really enjoyed reading your piece
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Your rhyming I enjoyed ~ the piece was very nice~ I enjoyed reading it~ Its a different spin you've put into this piece which I enjoyed.
Thanks so much for entering my seasons contest~ I wish you good luck! -
Okay...two things I'd like to say. Firstly, naughty, naughty you ~ you really should remove your name from the bottom of each contest poem. This gives all entrants a fairer crack at the gold, preventing favourites from grabbing the trophies all the time. Anonymity is the way to go!
Secondly, although this a stunningly written piece, you have missed the point somewhat...the picture was the 'theme' prompt, as was the title of this contest.
I guess the word 'spellbinding' can be applied to many variations, but I was looking for the obvious one! Witchcraft, magical potions...foulest brews, etc.
You are welcome to have another go and submit a more topical piece if you wish ~ and don't forget to remove your name, please!
Anyway, here are three cheers for this poem. They are well-deserved, regardless.
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Very nice post
distinguished words here for this poem,I like the scenery posted here,thank you for entering our contest, good luck
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very nice and good luck in the contest.
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