In the dark corridors of my dreams
I search for your footprints.
A fragrance reaches me,
Faint and alluring.
A gust of wind from the wilderness
Of another birth,
Bringing
Forgotten memories
On its wings.
I remember...
On my frozen floor
The soft tread of your steps.
In blinking moments of revelation
When the distant lighthouse
Swings its beam
Past my windless sail,
I quiver
On the edge of ecstacy,
Feeling your presence
In my cabin.
You elude me,
Like a long-forgotten touch,
A word
Drifting
Out of reach...
Author notes
Do I believe in God? I don't know. But I feel His presence somewhere close, in moments when I tremble with the knowledge of being.
A contest entry
- MYSTIC POETS OF AP - "ALIVENESS" by maa.
543 points, ended July 21, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Yes, there is something to find.
This is fantastic imagery for that intangible presence (your word, and excellent). Congratulations. 
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This is beautiful.
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a very beautiful poem ... right in the spirit that touches my soul ... your author's notes made me smile, they revealed the impossibility to "know" God through thinking or believing (in the concept of God) - but the subtle bliss of sensing His presence in the realms of the invisible ...
truly wonderful,
thank you,
maa
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thank you for the nice words. in fact, it was this contest that sparked these thoughts in me. once you sit down and meditate, you will be surprised what is deep down inside you, but had only sensed in a vague way in fleeting flashes of revelation in moments of real 'shanthi' amidst the tumult of worldly life. total bliss comes when 'shanthi' conquers the tumult and you are free of all the distracting noises around you...this is exactly what your Ammachi, Matha Amritananda Mayi, tells her disciples. I am a communist in my political belief and we communists are atheists to the core, though many of us, including me, go to temples and pray to the Almighty when we are sure others are not watching.
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Wonderful
Very appropriate for contest and well done. Best of luck in the contest.
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I love these words ...
Ah, beloved One, I do love it. But the word "like" is not a welcome word in poetry. Never never use the word like. No, my friend, the metaphor BECOMES its origin. Smoothly it transcends. So: please write:
Footprints
In the dark corridors of my soul
I search for your soft footprints:
subtle fragrance wafting
from another birth.
I remember
on my frozen floor
the warm kisses of your steps.
I feel your presence:
a long-forgotten touch,
a word
drifting
out of reach.
PERFECT, PERFECT, PERFECT!
Love
Myra
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With due apologies, Myra, I have tried the changes you had suggested, but a day later I feel there is a gap between what I wanted to communicate and how the piece comes through after the changes. So I have reverted back to the original version, with some improvements.
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Thank you Myra taking so deep an interest. Please don't feel looted if I change the poem your way. Cheers.
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