the sun left his pink drag-queen lipstick upon my sallow cheeks
i was so left in my heartfelt reverie
that i didn't know
i felt nothing, only my heart that quickened
for the lust of the sun, and the love of the city
Author notes
it was jus tkind of spur of the moment
Written August 20th, 2003
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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This is too good to be left uneditted. I loved the first line. I think there's more that can be drawn from this poem-- the relationship between the sun's kiss, the "quickening" of the heart (i.e. procreation)...there's more to be found in this poem-- you should explore more angles.
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brilliant poem, spur of the moment stuff is good, great write
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splendid
Beautiful.
"for the lust of the sun, and the love of the city"
I love that line.
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This is probably one of the best short poems I've ever read! I loved the first line a lot. Great job, and keep writing! ^_^
Elise -
the wording was so amazing i mean it was so creative
the personification of the sun
"the sun left his pink drag-queen lipstick upon my sallow cheeks"
that was my favorite part!
may your poetic candle never flicker
Forever Yours,
Gertrude
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A very nice poem though i was slightly confused of the meaning behind it. Did you receive a sunburn from the sun in a lovely city or a beach?
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Write more on the spur of the moment 'cos this is good. Audacious and shining. I felt that the second line could be compressed but that's about it as far as suggestions go.
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Great Poem!
Spur of the moment is sometimes the very best...which is what this poem is. We can be so incapsuled in our day to day life activities that we fail to feel the touchings. This is a wonderful poem expressing in few words how we are naturally effected by the elements, and sometimes just let them sweep by us. I enjoyed reading. Keep penning.
Thank you so much for the support in words you have given to the students in the creative writing class, they are greatly appreciated by me, and I know they will appreciate them as well.
I will keep you abreast of their progress.
Much Love,
Renee
Edited on Sep 26, 9:40 because 'oops! Misspelled words!'. -
glorious
Wow...I'm in awe. This has got to be one of the best poems I've read in a while. It short and simple full of description, yet it packs a powerful punch. Wow. -
oh my god, wow.
this is good.
it reminds me of this one I wrote called "fuck".
oh wait, we're not supposed to use profanity in comments. whoops.
but really, this was awesome.
rock on and all that good stuff-
jealous
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I'll just be a loser and lamer and tell you I liked it.
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loved the title for this piece
it alone stands as a wonderful poem
drag queen lipstick
lust of the sun and love of the city
you speak almost for a cause
refreshing...
-chiante- -
Wow, I think that's one of the coolest, shortest poems I've ever read! It seems so easy, but when reading it, the wordage makes it come alive, even with so few lines. I applaude you, this is very well done. Thanks for your comment on "Pull the Strings" and thanks for sharing this.
-Meg
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