Peaceful woods,
flooding with life,
Animals rustling,
as the sunshine filters.
Nature in full zest,
rich and swaying
until
the fire consumed it's dance.
So in life
fire crosses our paths
charged to burn
the relationships we revere.
We need not
stop, drop and roll.
An unwavering stand
to not get bogged down
by the ifs and buts
and all the pits
of jealousy, infidelity, mistrust
calling our names,
will suffice.
Author notes
This is Option 1: Send me a message and request a title. I will then choose a title off a premade list I have. You will then have 48 hours to write a poem using that title.
In a list
A contest entry
- Another Chance to Test Your Poetic Fortitude by Minstrel Knight.
700 points, ended July 18, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Beautifully written. Great write, but I need a I don't feel it's complete because It changes so fast and then ends. Ya know? I hope you'll add some. It still goes in the finalists list for now, though. Thanks for sharing and thanks for entering the contest. Best wishes. Take care.
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I do not like sounding like I am repeating myself since this is nearly the same comment I just gave a poem. This is good, but it is not great. I have read better poems and had better poems entered into my contest. To make judging easier since this will not win, I am removing it. Hope you understand.
Chelsea
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I must say the last stanza was my favorite. I felt it was worded very well and probably the best part of the poem. As for the rest of it, it seemed just a little bland.
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This made sense to me. scary, but I understand your words, and playing with the fires of life is fun. Your words can be use as a stepping stones to learn from.
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untill = until
This started out so peaceful, and then the fires took their toll. The ending did confuse me a little. What did you mean by,
"and all the pits
calling our names."
Were they just not scared of being burnt to a crisp?
Pits meaning graves? -
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I added that in the poem to avoid further confusion. I would like to thank you for pointing it out.
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Thanks for reading my poem..By 'all the pits calling our names' I did not mean graves. I was referring to the common mistakes we all make in marriages and other relationships, like infedility, mistrust, jealousy. These are pits we fall into easily. There are many situations in which we wish to take them up. But they lead to further complications. I hope I made myself clear.
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