The Rant

Right, so here's the grudge..
A close friend of mine does something that hurts my feelings.
Not intentionally...
quite frankly, she doesn't even gave it a thought.
She has, as far as I know
never even considered this behavior a problem.
When I point out, that in this instance
she has really hurt my feelings..
I get, "Oh, its okay, it doesn't mean anything..."

WTF?

Its okay that it doesn't bother her,
so therefore my feelings don't matter?
This is a 'close' friend, right?
Someone who brings me all their woes and concerns,
shares jokes, shares good times and bad..etc..
But how I feel doesn't matter
because it doesn't bother her?
Gee, thanks...

I may not walk around with my heart on my sleeve
for all to see,
But that doesn't mean I can't feel
And it certainly doesn't warrent second kick in the teeth
by ignoring the fact I was hurt.
Lets chaulk up a little betrayal of trust with that
shall we?

Okay, so give me some time to pull myself together
and stop stewing by myself.
I'll build up my armor a little thicker
add another layer ot two.

The world just got a little colder and more callus,
thats all...
I'll do better next time.

I'm glad things are going well for her, really I am.
I'm just not feeling particularly jovial right now.

Just let me get this armor fixed
putty the deeper holes
paste on a 'happy smile'.
See, I'll be good as new, no worries....




"I am the color of the stone as the moon rises.."
" I am grey, and I stand between the candle and the star..."