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Apart

Although I cannot see you,
I know that you are there,
But being so very far apart,
Is more than I can bear,
I know I've never seen your face,
Nor held you close to me,
Yet loving you, it feels so right,
Perfection is all I see,
People say that I am dreaming,
From this dream may I never wake,
Ill remain asleep forever,
Rather than reveal you to be fake,
I know that this is madness,
And maybe it can't be real,
But even though it's silly,
I know the way I feel,
I'd trade 1000 wishes,
To have you by my side,
I'd sail to you on rivers,
Of the many tears I've cried,
I'd move mountains just to hold you,
I'd die one thousand times,
If loving you is sinful,
I'm guilty of infinite crimes,
Although I cannot see you,
Your name is in my heart,
Although we've never been together,
We will never be apart.

Author notes

Option 2
[It's won an honourable mention, but lots of people say that doesnt count so I entered it anyway... sorry if that's not ok]

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • okadadokie
    April 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is beyond the best I have ever read before. Sorry for the delay.

    ~Oka/KC


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    March 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent write I love the flow and tone of it. The theme is wrote with excellent portrayal of these sad emotions LOL I just wrote one that has same lines as these. hehe Thanks for entering my contest I wish you the best of luck.


  • GypsyEyes
    December 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    judge says

    sweetie i know this feeling so well. you have captured it so beautifully in your poem! thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
    ~Dommi


  • psychiatrists dream
    November 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You have desribed this feeling of love well, I can relate. well written, thanks for entering and good luck


  • SquarestCheerio
    October 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is gorgeous. I love it.


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    October 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Yeah Like they said Below Good Luck In mY Contest Great poem


  • DrunkenRam
    October 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Guilty

    This is sincerely a very nice Poem, I absolutely love it's structure and context.
    Good Luck.


  • CherryOnTop
    October 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is absolutely wonderful. I love this entry.


  • Number 13
    July 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is soooo sweet :]


  • reckless abandon
    July 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. I really like this. The rhythm was really nice. Thanks for entering the contest and good luck!


  • Athena Xymaya
    July 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I title it very fitting!!

    I loved the flow to this and how you created a nother being with your words was amazing!
    GOOD LUCK!

  • SandraMVeinot
    July 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Apart'...

    'a nice flow...but a little bit sad...always sad when two in love has to be apart...

    thank you for chosing to sharing it here with us all your viewers...

    and all the best to you as well...


  • xXLoveXx
    July 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Good job....I really like this! Thanks for entering
    GOOD LUCK IN MY CONTEST!


  • live-death
    July 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh this is soo beautidul.. i loved it, and even more cause i feel the same.. im proud youve already won with this poem.. its excellent


  • 2lullabyhaven
    July 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is perfect. I love it, especially your last two lines, Awesome write. lol


  • aikoflavored
    July 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I genuinely enjoyed this.

    I Loved the flow, easy for me to read.
    beautiful metaphors.

    I Liked this, it's simple.
    Thank you for your entry
    and good luck!

    |Aiko|


  • MagazinesFall
    July 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    BRAVO

1 - 17 of 17