My world comes alive
When the sun abandons the sky
While some may slumber, I awaken
As a nocturnal creature.
I have tried to grasp
The endless diamonds in the heavens
With my father, as we
Point out the brightest
And recall the stories they tell.
I have seen the night fall
Upon my lover's face
As his golden eyes pierce
Through the shadows
And we embrace against the darkness.
I have run through these empty streets
Feet and heart pounding
Adrenaline-thrill and fear-
Pulsing through my veins.
I have heard the seductive
Whispers in the breeze
Sharing the secrets it holds,
Speaking of the danger and magic of the night,
A times when vampires prowl,
Witches fly and werewolves howl.
I have gazed upon the beautiful moon
With worshipful eyes
Sensing a familiarity, a belonging,
A feeling of home
Knowing I was meant to live
Beneath the starlight.
I have been one acquainted with the night.
Author notes
Option #3 Night skies/moon and stars
This poem is inspired from another poem "Acquainted With The Night"
A contest entry
- NEW; 10 options contest!!! , and more come take a look! by perfectsunset.
300 points, ended July 12, 2007, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Something Different, OLD or NEW {{Pre-writes Allowed}} by PerfectImperfection.
525 points, ended August 5, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Write Appreciation Day 2007 by Kimojuno.
1000 points, ended September 14, 2007, 102 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Random Contest for Random People. by Phiona.
550 points, ended September 5, 2007, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - INSPIRE ME TO WRITE AGAIN by forever dreaming.
1500 points, ended October 4, 2007, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This is wonderful. I love the imagery portrayed here and it just all paints a picture so vivid and real. Wonderfully done here keep up the great work. Thanks so much for sharing =]
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I agree with tanzanites comment. This poem follows a well planned route from start to finish that I don't think would have worked as well had the stanzas been in any other order. There is something about the night that brings comfort to many a soul. The stars and moon are often seen as reminders of those we love and loss but you have given this poem more than just that. You have given it a powerful feel without being sentimental cliche. I loved reading this piece and wish you the very best of luck in my contest.
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Well written piece. The experiences shared follow a lovely order and the poet takes us into the world of this creature of the night. Well the choice of imagery and myth (the creatures of the night mentioned here) also works well as elements of this piece. I loved it.
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This is really good. I particularly like the lines 'A times when vampires prowl,
Witches fly and werewolves howl.'
It is awesome. Congratulations on a great write and good luck. -
Sort of has a werewolf feel especially due to worshiping the moon, with your eyes, of course anyone can love the night especially if they truly do pay attention.
I love this and how detailed it is and how you mention each part you enjoy, seeing the stars with your father, the eyes of your lover as his eyes pierce the darkness and you embrace one another three lovers united.
The rhyme is wonderful as well it flows right off the pen and into the pad and finally onto my lap and right into my brain; wonderfully written and a great testimony to your skill.
Please keep it up;
Kimojuno. -
Excellent use of imagery throughout! A thoughtful and endearing piece of brilliant fantasy and sentimental truths. Very nice! Thank you for your entry & Best wishes in the contest!
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Wonderful piece with the lines " I have tried to grasp
The endless diamonds in the heavens
With my father, as we
Point out the brightest
And recall the stories they tell." This poem was full of imagery and underlying meanings, and I like how another poem inspired you to write this great piece! Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest
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This was great.
The imagery was wonderful and I felt your emotions.
It actually made me wish it was night rather than 9 In the morning. Haha.
Wonderful job <3 -
you've captured the feelings that everyone feels while they are alone in the dark
awesome job
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