(A/N: Astral Flight takes the reader on an unintended journey into a dark forest to spy on the clandestine activities of a mysterious sorcerer. Inspired by Professor Severus Snape of the Harry Potter books and films.)
The man appeared in a dream,
cloaked and vaporous,
one pale hand extended
not as much in greeting as command.
Thus summoned, my dream-self followed,
his image dissolving, reforming,
taking on shadowy shape once more.
The man knelt down, head bent forward,
spidery fingers feeling ancient tree bark
that flaked and crumbled to dust.
Bits clung stubbornly to hair and shoulders,
but he took no notice.
A tiny spring released;
a door opened in the bark;
a stash of corked bottles and still-moist herbs
lay strewn in disarray.
Hand in cloak, the man withdrew a vial;
its peeling label
spoke in spiky scrawl:
Astral Travel Powder
(use sparingly)
The bottle safely out of sight,
he stood, smiled, smoothed his cloak
and walked away,
worn black boots crunching on packed snow.
How had I come to be here,
unobserved like some misdirected spy?
Perhaps some errant specks of powder
had escaped their vial
and were captured by a mischievous breeze
intent on drawing the dreamer
into the dream.
Author notes
"Astral Flight", allows the reader to journey into the Dream Time and observe a sorcerer who doesn't know he's being watched. This is a selection from my dark poetry collection, "Tales From the Forbidden Forest".
In a list
A contest entry
- The Book Of Shadows/Magick by Gabrielle..
1100 points, ended October 30, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think about this poem. [Reward: double points]
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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The man appeared in a dream,
cloaked and vaporous,
one pale hand extended
not as much in greeting as command.
Thus summoned, my dream-self followed,
his image dissolving, reforming,
taking on shadowy shape once more.
The man knelt down, head bent forward,
spidery fingers feeling ancient tree bark
that flaked and crumbled to dust.
very good poem -
love it!
dark, mysterious and enchanting!
beautiful imagery, you can really feel that you're there, seeing what you are seeing. did you actually dream that? It sounds less like you were a spy, and more like he was trying to show/tell you something... well it seems that way from the first verse anyway!
and I like the idea of astral travel powder, could do with some of that!
x
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How cool!
Not only is it a great poem in written terms but its different (which is a big yay), interesting and fun! Really impressed and i'm going to take a look at your other work.
. Rewarded 4
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An intriguing piece. I can see you have a real feeling for this subject matter. I feel it needs a little something, though, to raise the language out of the ordinary. Things gothic, aetherial, eldritch demand this. I am thinking of delving further into your forbidden forest...
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This is absolutely amazing. It kept me captivated until the end, and you did an excellent job with the imagery.
I am looking forward to reading more from Tales From the Forbidden Forest.
Very interesting.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
. Rewarded 4
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Every once in a while you stumble across something that just seems to pierce your inner heart and soul… that is what I have found in this piece here. Your words hold an intensity that speaks for itself. Very nice work! Thank you for sharing your words with me and best wishes to you in the contest. Keep that quill dipped in ink and ever ready for use.
♥ Touchof1der -
You did a good job describing astral projection.
The wizard had me confused until you explained it in your authors notes, which sent me back to read it once again. good job on this one. -
Great work! I enjoyed this poem a lot as it is a subject I am quite fond of. My favourite part was:
The man appeared in a dream.
Cloaked and vaporous,
One pale hand extended
Not as much in greeting as command.
Just really great... well done. -
Nice Fantasy trip u brought us ion here. This is such a wonderful write I enjoyed reading it very much looking forward to reading more from you good luck in your future writingsd
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Wow how great is this!!!! I really loved what you have done with this peice, it is truely an amzing write! Absolutly excelent flow, and amazing imagery are the things that make this a "powerful" peice...lol... Great write and keep up the wonderfull works!
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creative
I like this,a creative piece! The title really caught my attention,and the metaphor kept it! Nice job,can't wait to read more of ur writes
"Spidery fingers feeling ancient tree bark
That flaked and crumbled to dust".My fave lines are these two....very nice job here!
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By a mischievous wind
And blown through my bedroom window
By chance?
This is wonderful image of the heart revealing the various aspects and the immageries of adoration to bring the mystical truth over the surface..the sentiments have been placed so smooth and so beautiful way of expression..it touches the heart at various places and knocks the door of the soul of the readers as well..Indeed a great heartful poem is here..
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Mighty and powerful is your pen. This was a well written piece with great emotion. Thank you for sharing it and best wishes. Keep that pen handy dear poet. ~Midnight Lace
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This was a very good write. You have portrayed a lot of vivid imagery in this piece. I flowed very well . I enjoyed the lines
“The bottle safely out of sight,
He stood, smiled, smoothed his cloak
And walked away,
Worn, black boots crunching on packed snow.”
Well done.
All and all a very good read.
Keep up the good writing.
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I actually would not have known this was related to Harry Potter just by reading the poem. I think that's a good thing, that it can stand alone as well as work within a group.
And I have to say, knowing that it is related to my beloved Harry potter world makes me love it that much more, and read it in a new light.
Love it! -
Wonderful! I know little about the Harry Potter tales and characters...so to me this write is quite intriguing. Wonderful imagery within a fine story poem!
This is not my usual style to read but you trapped me very well.
I wish you all the best with future gems like this
Linda
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Such a wonderful fantasy trip I was just on from reading this piece, very nicely done I’d like to take this opportunity to welcome you to the sight, if you have any questions or concerns please feel free to contact any greeter or simply click on the help tab at the top of the screen.
Dove
. Rewarded 6
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Kewl
I have a weakness for Severus Snape, so this poem was an immediate enticement for me. As a result of this poem, I want to astrally follow Snape around.
The first stanza is pretty, and I love the word "vaporous." "Not as much in greeting as command" is a great line, as I can truly picture the way the hand is moving. You capture Snape's powerfulness well, even though he's being watched and does not know about it.
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