I thank you for all the lovely comments.
I thank you for all the lovely comments.
Author notes
yep...
oh-- give me a second to correct the format. AP has a way of screwing everything up. ~Sigh~
A contest entry
- Open House by Nicole Hanna.
2000 points, ended July 9, 2007, 39 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Can you tell I have had a week off of work? ~Sigh~
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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lol -- well, this took a bit more than the typical AP poem to read. As much for the Mose-like tablet stanzas. Grrrr. Time consuming reading. It figures I would read this after reading one of Blkwidow's poems, so that between you conspirers, I just missed watching "Law & Order SVU"...
Seriously, let's start with "fucking secretaries". Why is that phrase in a poem redolent with negative images? Isn't fucking secretaries a good thing? I mean, it is to me...
And why so hard on weddings? I love weddings. Well, open-bar ones at least. I think weddings have produced more babies from guests of the bride, where open bars have been utilized, than Vegas.
[A moment for an honest praise}:
Heaven Hell
Olympia Hades
Elysian Fields ( )
Beautiful use of phraseology and position. irony too, in that the Elysian Fields, which are heaven and hell combined, find their counterpart in an open nothing (i.e. "( .... )"
And all this is rooted in gods and fishes, and a perfect final stanza. This poem really DID deserve the gold it received. Excellent piece, at so many different levels.
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Ah. But you see... I am not a secretary. Anytime someone else is getting more play than me, it is negative.
Thank you. I'm awfully sorry you missed Law & Order. If I remember correctly, all you have to do is switch over to another cable channel and it will most likely be on. Again.
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I never said anyone was getting more play than you. I am a gentleman. Anytime anyone makes such a claim, I invite you to come to me, and with your help, I am sure we can set them straight. You see, I am an understanding and sympathetic type of poet. I say, "Secretaries. Phhhfah. I have Annalise here to help explain why female poets have given rise to the expressions (particularly among males) of 'goddess.'"
No, you definitely don't have to worry about secretaries with me... I am sweet, sincere, and understanding. Let me help you get over worries about secretaries.... -
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Now see... that is sweet of you to offer to help me in this regard. You are, indeed, a gentleman.
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This is so amazing. I'm sorry but I am deleting this contest. Just wanted you to know that this is well worth a trophy in any contest. I hope you didn't go to too much trouble. Of the few who entered, nobody picked their poems that I would have picked. I found that very interesting. But any of yours are always amazing so... I guess you couldn't go wrong. Sorry about the contest.
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okay, not a quickie, but if one looks at it .... it could be a bunch of quickies.
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Actually (sshhhh, don't tell anyone) a couple of sections in this were truly quickies.
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I knew I remembered this one....I actually want winners from quickie contests
this would blow all the quickies away....lol
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lol... oops.
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This is very good. Though from your email the other week, I can tell that you reserve most of your best pieces off this site.
This was certainly well deserving of gold. So congratuations. Not that picture of a gold cup means anything but the recognition it represents should.
I really like the pressing forward thoughts that each section goes onto. You start with a small town feel and nature. Then you progress into follies and the more city like, unnatural existance that we lead.
You do love your fish, but you use them well, so you will hear no complaints out of me.
The only thing I might say is that the eighth section, is no where near as strong as all the rest and you might want to have a look at that when you get a chance.
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LOL Yeah, I do like my fishies. Actually, I'm putting together a manuscript right now and, you guessed it, it's going to be titled Speaking to Fish. I don't know why, really. I just really fucking like that title.
Section 8 was actually a separate poem when I started this one. A title I thought up months ago and just kept stuttering with it. The tree in it kills it for me, to tell the truth. I need to do something about that.
Thank you, darlin'. So nice to see you.
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Yeah well, I'm in and out like a drunk on a whore in an alley. What can I say?
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perfect
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This is remarkable...PK
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Astounding!
I aspire to write this well...does your muse do contract work? LOL!
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I'm late with a comment on this .. as usual
All I can say is I would crawl naked over the broken bottles from a Saturday night street party to write anything even closely as good as this.
You should run a class.
breathtaking just isn't enough of a word for this.
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this is exceptional
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wow
and it's my favorites list for you, darling.
my favorite sections were I, VII, VIII, even though i adored all of it.
so if this is poem #13, i'm going to have to read all of the earlier ones of this category. then all of your poems, period :]
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you should submit this piece....
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thank you.
You think I should, really?
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What a magnificent, and monumental write..if this hadn't won gold, I would've been shocked..so well done.
Congratulations. What a poetic feast.
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Interesting how the Again. at the end is nearly an Amen.
I like Stanza III best.
congrats on your shiny.
Lisa
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well dammit.. i knew this was good...
im taking my crayons and my coloring book home-
congrats on a wonderfully deserving write
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geez... and i'm sittin' here tryin' to rub two thoughts together
kapow! she's got a winner here
this is going into my favorites list. it's been a while since i've read something this meaty...
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Living in Vegas, Part IV really hit a high note with me. It's almost funny how guilty you can feel NOT throwing someone your hard earned money when all they've done is hold a cardboard sign that says he's hungry. I'd be hungry too if all I did was stand at the light and hold a sign...lol. Although now at 120 degrees in the shade, they really ARE working for their money's worth! Now I'm not bashing, just saying how excellently you've captured those moments...good or bad...and how every part of this was dipped in brilliance before rolled in a thick layer of exquisite. I am quite impressed to say the least, because only the most ingeniously crafted poetry can make those voices in my head shut up and just read...
And it has been read. And it was good. And you are an elite.
Thank you.
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Very different to anything I've seen on allpoetry before.I love the thinking you have put into this. Most interesting and enjoyable.Keep on writing (stay off work more often! )Only joking.
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First off, can I just tell you that this is probably the most experimental piece I've read, in regards to form, in probably... ever. lol And second, this is probably my favorite piece by you ever. No opening line could be as superb as this one.
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there is a lot to like here- the format itself is creative and well worth its weight in read-
so many interesting voice bubbling through out a really creative piece- i will come back again soon and see what else i can pull from this thick and well conceived write
m
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Thank you. :)
I think this is the one time a girl can take the word "thick" as a compliment.
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"The universe seems so small
when man
hasn't the means
to see around its corners."
I agree with Lynda's assessment, my Friend; your talent continues to evolve, as it should. This is an impressive penning; thoughtful, intuitive, profound & filled with layers...Good luck in Nicole's contest, Sweetie...
Wanda
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I am truly astonished by this...Your talent just seems to grow and grow,....This one has me speechless...and in awe...
A beautiful and amazing write my dear friend...
Lynda
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Thank you.
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