We must have overstayed our welcome, chaps.
The women and the wine have disappeared.
They were correct about the rain, perhaps.
It stayed around much longer than we'd feared.
But, not to worry, we've our little boat.
And though our destination isn't clear,
We'll find a new location, more remote,
For anyplace is preferable to here.
The key to life is always move ahead.
Remaining where we are will make us old.
A stagnant man might just as well be dead.
We're men of action, brilliant, brave and bold!
So onward, men! We sail for distant shores!
(I wish we'd thought to bring along some oars....)
Author notes
Contest entry.
I chose options 1, 2, 3, and 4.
Option 1: Write a poem inspired by The Voyage by Alexander Jansson
( http://www.deviantart.com/print/326722/
Option 2: Write a poem inspired by the word nebulous
Option 3: Write a poem inspired by the quote "A rolling stone gathers no moss."
Option 4: Write a poem using and inspired by one of these titles:
The Sinking of Venice**
Dime Novel Hero
Velvet
Neptune and the Merchant Marine (or Neptune vs. the Merchant Marine)
The Underground
The Legerdemainist
A contest entry
- 4 Ordinary Options: Picture, Word, Quote, Titles by bachelorette.
630 points, ended July 10, 2007, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
I really enjoyed this. It reminded me of that wonderful style of language used by Mr Pooter in 'The Diary of a Nobody'. Sort of elegant but misplaced.
Great.
-
This gave me a smile near its finish, a nice sense of humor to it, and a lovely feel.
-
A truly beautiful sonnet ended in the most comical mannet.Wonderfully well done!Best of luck
-
Outstanding
Flooding has become a big problem in the UK. I thought this was a fantastic sonnet, well-deserving of a gold trophy. It is not easy to write humourous sonnets and you have done very well with this write. I liked how you managed to include some philosophy as well and the tongue in cheek feel of this poem. Well-written and very funny.
-
that's why writing is Art ... it can evoke a crisis and end it with a smirk
-
I loved it. another humorous but captivating poem you have wirtten well done.
-
some applause
-K
-
Excellent as always. This one brought a chuckle. I love it. Good luck.
-
A sonnet! The first sonnet ever entered into one of my contests. The end couplet is perfectly acceptable.
This has everything: great imagery, a great story, wonderful rhymes and rhythm, drama, and comedy. This is truly a magnificent piece. I’m really glad all of the options could inspire this. It’s practically perfect (not that I have any suggestions for improvement).
My favorite line: “A stagnant man might as well be dead.”
Thanks so much for entering. It’s been a long time since I’ve enjoyed reading a poem so much.
-K
(please do not rate or respond until the contest is over) -
-
Thank you for the kind comments and for the inspiration. This was a really fun write for me.
-
-
Enjoyed it
With the projected melting of the ice caps, many coastal cities are threatened, and Venice's streets are just a meter or two above sea level. Flooding is already so frequent that they don't put away the raised sidewalks...
I love the sonnet form, and the air of bravado is priceless. Best of luck!
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
