Cutting candy stripes into the lawn
the mower hums around garden like a bee.
A satisfied smile upon the gardeners face,
as he surveys his work, holding cup of tea.
"Perfect." He says out loud, pleased with his work,
his audience, an orchestra of singing birds,
who search for ants amongst the new cut grass.
Momentarily startled by his sudden words.
The Gardener looks around for human praise.
Although seeing none, his smile remains.
His work improving nature satisfies.
He loves working on the gardens he maintains.
When he leaves, bugs and creatures start their dance.
Moving blades of grass back to their random way.
As nature abors straight and even lines,
his candy stripes soon will begin to fade away
A contest entry
- Rhyme and Meter Workshop Metaphor Contest. by Room without doors.
1000 points, ended July 20, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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What a perfect story, told converstaionally yet with such easy rhyme. Well done!
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Many thanks for your kind words Star Shine
Best wishes
Dixie
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I would like to have been a bug in that wonderful garden, I can picture them as they hop and swing each other. Good write, good luck. You know I'm your #1 fan.
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Enjoyed
sunlight and mowed grass with contented bees keeping the neighbors at bay.
Hmmm, vivid imagery though the 2nd and 4th lines did detract a little from my ultimate enjoyment it is but a minor hiccup in an enjoyable piece.
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Excellent
You create a very vivid picture and this poem had a thoughtful message. I liked the metaphor of the candy stripes and the last stanza, with nature starting to return to normal, its purpose at odds with the gardener. The metaphors are immediate and the rhyme is to a high standard.
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