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I Want to Leave (Villanelle)

The tears keep flowing down my face
You have fulfilled my greatest fear
I want to run and leave this place

Our fingers used to interlace
Your touch was gentle, not severe
The tears keep flowing down my face

You have finished life's great race
But my own fate is quite unclear
I want to run and leave this place

I've memorized our last embrace
And as I gaze into my mirror
The tears keep flowing down my face

You are who I can't replace
I still imagine you are here
I want to run and leave this place

I'll wait forever just in case
Because your presence feels so near
The tears keep flowing down my face
I want to run and leave this place

Author notes

This poem is also on StoryWrite, so... yeah. And no, this poem doesn't currently apply to me; it is strictly a 'what if' type thing for me because I've never ACTUALLY had someone I was close to die before.

I believe--tell me if I'm incorrect--that this is a poetry form called a Villanelle. I've never written in this form before, and I wonder... did i do all right?

A contest entry

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Comments


  • The Hardest Goodbye
    July 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    yes u did more than alright. you did awesome. i loved this poem. thanks for entering it in my contest!
    xo
    kandy


  • Shadow Fairy of Twi
    July 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I really really really love this poem. I love the form, I love the flow, I love the topic. LOL I've always been one to love angsty poetry. This is so sweet and sad, it just seems so lovely. The background also worked well. I loved your rhyme scheme, too.