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Painting the Sky

Painting the Sky


3, 2, 1 and they go boom
illuminating the dark sky
with their many coloured-sparks.
A sight so beautiful and cheerful,
so magical and dreamy.

One after the other,
light filling the sky,
which becomes the black background
and the setting of beauty and colours.
It becomes a painting
of extraordinary beauty!

Fireworks are like crayons,
colouring the sky,
that is the painting,
leaving it adorned for a few seconds,
enjoyed and looked upon
by everyone!

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • Eusebius
    July 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    bravo

    A quietly lovely piece of poetry, about a marvelous subject....excellent! bravo... bravo.. bravo...


  • Dark Angel Reborn
    July 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is very well done, but i think maybe you could go into a bit more description about it to really suck us in. The flow is a bit off in some places.........but you have a really nice start here....i think with some tweaking this could be an awesome piece I really like the "Fireworks are like crayons, colouring the sky" But maybe you could say something else so you dont say "Fireworks"...just a thought


  • Quiet places
    July 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for your entry!

    Very well done on the imagery of your poem!! A magical sight for all to enjoy. Good luck, Don


  • ventus11
    July 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ha! brillant. i can see them exploding in my head. a great and solid write from an excellent writer. "fireworks are like crayons, colouring the sky, that is the painting" That is my favorite line. it ahs so much imagery. a wonderful write. good look in the contest. happy fourth of July.


  • Bazza
    July 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Bright spark

    A unique subject that paints a vivid picture that needs no explanation. welle done


  • Jeremy0826 gold member
    July 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Great work here with this one!
    Fireworks are a very special and
    unique part of this day. Probably
    the most fun and memorable for many
    of us, especially our children.
    Happy 4th to you and good luck with
    this one in the contest! Thanks for
    sharing this here!




    Jeremy0826


  • cognitivedistortion
    July 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thats a good poem for the fourth of july. It made me feel like going to a bbq or something to see the fireworks. Good luck in the contest and best wishes.


  • Lunatyx
    July 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    nice

    Nice poem, who would come up with the idea to write about fireworks ?
    Like the flow & the style of the poem, so that good...
    BUT...I would've tried to mislead the reader by not giving the subject away as fast as you did. Honestly, I got here because I thought a poem titled "Painting the Sky" would be deep or something...
    But hey, I'm not you and everyone has his own style.

    Grtz

    Edit : Major Typo

1 - 8 of 8