My treasure-house, that keeps all thoughts,
Within the golden precious chest.
All fantasies within this cosmic beauty,
Lies under the load of heavy words.
And every movement, every touch
Of divine, brilliant wonder,
Sends its answer to my corporeal mind,
Hugs me with the wings of love.
The place i tell my stories in,
The only space for soul and body -
This is my life, my heart and time,
That given was by stellar walker.
And each of us has place within,
Through which he can create the future.
This place is a heart, so hot and mighty.
A heart - the room for all our thoughts.
A contest entry
- the room i write in by truembrace.
600 points, ended July 20, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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this is a creative twist to the contest theme with bringing us into the heart as such a host for poetry, versus the typical structures I imagined I'd find here.
with only one "i" in the entire poem and capitalization to start each verse - I wondered if the i should be capitalized. It just seemed to stick out a bit in the midst of such formal text style throughout the rest of the piece.
the piece as a whole -- so very well written and an interesting and eloquent entry.
thanks so much for taking the time to write and enter this...
Kim -
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Thank you
Thank you, Kim, for your comments on my poem. I really apprecialte this! I always think, that comments encourage even more than a trophy.
As for the "i" capitalization, so it is not capitalized as i wanted to show myself as only one person among that great number, who write and create. And that all of us do that through the hearts.
I really enjoyed writing for your contest, i think that was a very interesting idea and it gave me the inspiration to write "A room within". Thank you so much.
And i will be waiting for many more interesting contests from you, in which i will definitely take part once again.
~G.J~
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