A lonely death

ok.
so i grieved a bit.

lost in confusion,
and not knowing why.

i said i wished it would happen,
and when the words were said this time,
they were reallly meant,
and so u pass.

i filled of anger
over many different things.
i learned some things.

one thing i learned
was that when you create a life
of commitment towards hate and anger....
shedding it onto everyone else,
it is only your fault when you die
a lonely death.

to hear such words
from others
that there are no good words to offer
because of that person doing wrong
all their life"???

where should be the remorse?
i grieved my whole life because of u,
and now that you are gone,
it all ends.

i am going to lift my spirits
and try to create something
you never had...
honesty, and love, and trust.

people seem to think you knew
you were dying.

this i dont doubt.
i am lead to believe that you were ready,
and that is why you chose
not to fight it.

your life was over a long time ago,
and in short,
you got what you deserved in the end...

a shitty funeral.
you are lucky anyone even showed.

ok, so Mary understood you.
She was like You.
Bev, she need not even be mentioned.
She has not earned her place.
Everyone else,
you crapped on.

Where are you at now, mom?
Are you regretting anything?